AIBU husband w*nking

[FarmerJojo81]

What are people's views on this? I know my husband does it and he says he needs to orgasm daily so if we don't have sex for a few days then I understand he gets frustrated. I turn a blind eye but know it goes on discretely - fine. For context we have had issues with our sex live since DC was born but have been trying to get back on track and this week have been having regular sex. Today I walked into the bedroom and he was having a wank whilst watching something on his phone. I was annoyed as it was morning and I was in the kitchen getting child's breakfast. I came looking for husband to see where he was. Child could have easily walked in. I was livid.

He is now annoyed with me as I "shamed" him and overreacted. I have apologised for storming out but not for being angry and said I don't take responsibility for his actions. He's saying it's all about how I make him feel and connected to our sex life problems.

I wonder what frequency is acceptable here if daily is not normal. Maybe 3 a week?

Nobody needs to do this everyday.

Who dictates frequency…?? This is mad

Well to many PP, daily is "not normal"

Nobody needs to eat 3x a day either. You don’t have to cut back to the bare minimum to feel deprivation and it affect your mood.

Damned if I know, but if someone told me what I could and couldn’t do with my own body in my own empty bedroom I’d tell them to fuck off.

@LondonFox

I normally wank after sex with my DH next to me helping out. When I feel sexy, I like enjoying every opportunity.

Nobody cares. 🙄

What a ludicrous analogy. 😆

I don’t NEED to put nice clothes on or eat pudding every day but I do because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. Everyone benefits from a bit of fun in their life.

Some of us enjoy it though. Every day. Thankfully, I don't have anyone trying to tell me three times a week or whatever is enough.

Lots of things to enjoy out there.

Maybe there is a flow chart somewhere saying how often, when, & where is acceptable?

Like
Is it night out?
Are the curtains closed?
Are you fully under the duvet?
You have not had sex in the past 24hrs?
You have not an orgasm in the past 72hrs?
You will not be looking at porn?
You do not need a battery operated assistance device?
You do not have children living at home?

If all the above are ‘yes’ then you reach a ✅ and can proceed with the wank. If any one of the above is a ‘no’ then it is an immediate 🚫 no wank for you.

Would be very helpful because guessing is no fun.

And I often do. That's the thing. One doesn't exclude the other. Much like having sex at night doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want a wank the next morning.

😂…Sounds like this flow chart would benefit from some nice colourful graphics! Or we could make a public service video like the terrifying ones from the 70s and 80s?

Yes we could do a video. I have a certain educator in mind:
https://c.tenor.com/y-nPD1KW4oMAAAAC/derrygirls-ffs.gif

The old ones are the best

@AGodawfulsmallaffair

I don’t give a flying fuck about wanking, but wanking to porn, without a thought about the women and children abused and trafficked? Funnily enough, yes, that’s a turn off.
With the rise of Onlyfabs seeing women choosing to leave behind what have been traditionally considered successful careers for a form of porn, how does this fit your narrative?
Is a woman who for example decides to stop being a teacher or accountant to focus on her only fans (both stories I have read recently) abused?

He's totally wrong do not apologise, it's on him if he feels you shamed him, he deserves to be ashamed.

@Starlight1979 I don't know what the "oh ffs 🙄" was about - I also know someone whose marriage ended because their Apple ID was linked. Their teenager ended up seeing some home made hard core porn sent to their dad by another woman. Double whammy.

@letsgoooo

Of course there are women who work in the sex industry entirely voluntarily and uncoerced.

If only there was a way of reliably identifying which ones they are.

Or worse. He could've been wonking.

You just cannot accept people, especially men, wanting sexual pleasure daily is normal and healthy can you?

Because he's telling is DW that she is just there for sex and if she isn't providing it then he has to go it alone - and he does it where she is likely to find him, making his point (sorry) more explicit. It's appalling behaviour.

Whaaaaattt?!?!?
so no one should ever wank alone?

He shouldn't be doing it when a child could walk in but he can do what he wants with his body, including touching it for pleasure. In private.

There's nothing wrong, creepy or deviant about it. It's normal.