14 year old DD pregnant

[reddevil83]

Found out today that my 14 year old DD is pregnant. DD doesn't want anyone to know so I have come on here as I just need someone to talk too.
I don't even know what to write on here I am so shocked.

I don't think anyone is suggesting it is?

Sending love

Your DD has done the right thing in telling you

Call the go tomorrow and go from there.

You are an amazing mum for supporting her

Thank you all for your advice and support.

Will be booking a GP appointment tomorrow for her, although DD seems certain she wants an abortion I feel that driving her to an abortion clinic a day after finding out she is pregnant is just too much for her and hopefully seeing a GP will not be so scary for her.
It's been a long day DD has just gone to bed hoping she will get some sleep. It's been a tough year for her, her dad left us in Feb and has had no contact with her since he walked out on us and then a family bereavement and now this. I know I wouldn't of coped with all that at 14.

@reddevil83 go via your GP. If she is sure this is what she wants (it sounds it!) explain you expect she’s about 16 weeks and therefore an urgent referral is required. They will refer to the closest place. At this stage I would travel if it means sooner and that is possible.

Be aware, it is normal to be scanned to double check how far along and that it is safe so you can prepare her that she may see the baby but she can look away.

In terms of sick notes, the clinic will give a sick note with a VERY vague line on it, nothing remotely close to the procedure! They are excellent and discrete. You could just tell the school she is unwell and awaiting medical treatment and keep her at home until it is over.

Sending lots of love to you and your terrified daughter. Remember, this happens every day. There is nothing shameful x

Poor thing.

That's a lot for you to deal with too.

I hope the appointment tomorrow is easy to make and gives quick answers for your DD.

💐

Oh you poor pets, that's so tough! You could certainly have done without this.

You come across as such a caring mum, and I am sure you will be fine without the feckless waste of space, both of you. So sorry for your loss too.

Maybe a GP visit is a good way to start the process, but personally I wouldn't want the pregnancy to go on another week especially if she is further on than she thinks, and if she is sure she wants to terminate.

Will be thinking about you x

Hope you both get a good nights sleep. Your DD sounds mature although it can’t be easy for either of you, especially with the other challenges you’ve faced this year. As I said before, my GP was very supportive when I asked for a termination. I wasn’t at school but was at university so my education and future may have been compromised.
You are an awesome Mum.

Keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts

Good luck today @reddevil83

I hope that all goes as well as it can today @reddevil83 . Thinking of you and DD.

Wishing you all the bedt. Your poor daughter has been so vulnerable this year through no fault of her own, nor yours. This is not her fault, nor yours. I hope she can soon put this behind her and move on.

This.❤

I’m so glad your daughter felt able to come to you and that your first instinct was to support her in the way she needs and that in turn you felt able to reach out for support for yourself too.

im so sorry you are both facing this but I’m glad you seem to have it in hand and that people (mostly) have been able to help you with support and advice
I hope the appointment goes well and whatever comes next is as easy as it can be.

also please don’t take this as anything other than completely sincere but well done @reddevil83 i know this must be incredibly scary and horrible as her mum but one day because of you your daughter will look back at this time from whatever adult life she is living and what she will remember is in spite of it being a hard traumatic situation she was supported and will be grateful she didn’t have to go through this alone.

I get that she doesn't want her boyfriend to know, but shouldn't his parents be informed so that they can at least give him a talk about contraception.

Really bad idea.

So agree with this. Sending good wishes to you and your daughter @reddevil83

DD has been really hard on herself today, angry with herself for getting pregnant, angry with her dad for leaving. It's been a tough day with lots of tears.
I keep trying to reassure her it will be over soon and life will go back to normal but I guess as a scared 14 year old she just can't see that happening at the moment.

You are such a strong mamma bear. It’s so lovely to hear how open she is with you. You’ve done a really good job xxx

It won’t go back to normal overnight but when the deed is done, and she feels up to it, plan something really normal that you always did with her throughout her childhood. Maybe a trip to a favorite beach, an activity, just something that reminds her of normality.
With any luck she will be offered a surgical procedure so she won’t be as aware of what is happening. Even so, it won’t be nice.
The poor girl will need counseling too. She has been to hell and back (not at all her fault or yours). You have done brilliantly, you can’t help the bereavement or the useless father.

I can't wait to hear that this awful experience is all over, and that you can both move on and heal xx

My friend had a baby when we were 14. It was a big shock to everyone. She went to a school for young mums and took her GCSE's.

She eventually met and married another man and had two more children. She has been a fantastic mum. She found out yesterday she is to be a grandparent.

Let your DD make the decision and just be there to support her.

How are you doing OP? I've been thinking of you both this week.

How is your daughter OP?

I was wondering the same thing

Hello how are you all? X