14 year old DD pregnant

[reddevil83]

Found out today that my 14 year old DD is pregnant. DD doesn't want anyone to know so I have come on here as I just need someone to talk too.
I don't even know what to write on here I am so shocked.

Have you always been so empathetic? Or are you just a thoughtless, unkind wanker?

It’s a shock yes….any day and any age ….but nobody died….nobody killed anybody…..fucks sake 🙄

Is she talking to you about it OP? I can’t advise but I think just supporting her is the best thing. She will need to decide whether to keep the baby or not.

Will she go to the doctors tomorrow op to discuss her options? She must be so scared and worried and as well as yourself as well.

Oh gosh what a nightmare. Poor you. At least she feels able to tell you. It might feel like the end of the world now but it isn't. I have 2 friends who had babies young and they are successful and happy at 40. I also have a friend who had a termination at 15 and she is happily married with 3 kids now. It will be OK x

If she is 16 weeks pregnant and doesn’t want the baby, you will need an emergency appointment this week with BPAS or similar.

Just an out and out bitch I think

OK, in that case, arrange a GP appointment for her to start the process for termination. Go with her all the way.

OP it's good she sounds clear about her preference. But you'll need to act quickly. 16 weeks is quite far along. Wishing you both the best.

Yes this. Urgently.

Also she doesn’t have to tell the Dad but you’d be wise to ascertain if similar age to her or older.

If she’s decided on a termination contact her doctor immediately. The sooner this is done the better.

Thankfully in this day and age she has options and a loving mother.
It's good that you spoke with each other and you know her wishes. An appointment asap for a termination is needed along wirh counselling and some more sex education around contraception.

I hope your daughter is okay. She must be incredibly shocked. If she appears calm I think the first thing to do is to check who is the father, at 14 she is under aged and the biggest concern is her safety and if she's been hurt or abused in any way.

Following that get her pregnancy confirmed by a GP so she has all options available. She needs to be aware of the gravity of her decision, a baby will change her life and link her to the father forever.

Sorry, I missed your update. As she doesn’t want keep the baby then contact your GP as advised.

If she’s around 16 weeks you need to act quickly, take a look at the BPAS website https://www.bpas.org/ and give her lots and lots of cuddles x

My bf was pregnant at 15. This was a long long time ago. She had her daughter. You know what? It was complicated but it all worked out ok and her daughter was much loved by all.
Our children don’t always do what we expect - the next step depends very much on what your daughter wants. I hope you are all ok.
Edit to say I see she doesn’t want to have the baby, it’s good she has made a difficult decision.

Well she can’t have it both ways….if she doesn’t want it then fine but someone will have to know….she doesn’t have to tell the dad…she does have to make a gp appointment…..offer to do that for her …..give yourself time to let in sink in ….hope you got support too OP

At "around 16 weeks" her options are closing quickly. It's not impossible that she's already over the termination cut off, or could be approaching it if she's not sure.

She needs a scan as soon as possible and for you to find out what her options are. Head in the sand isn't going to help so I think you need to step in and organise all this for her - who needs to know is a lot less urgent a discussion.

Well she doesn't want the baby, as the OP says, so I'm not sure your BF's story is relevant here? 🤷‍♂️

Ok, not ideal but not the end of the world though I can understand it all must be feeling a bit much at the moment for both you and her.

Immediate priority is to make contact with the right service providers, details can be be found here

www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/

Longer term some conversations around who the dad is, safe sex, contraception will need to happen but for right now you need to get her an ultrasound and ensure that she has time to make the decisions around whether or not to have an abortion.

24 weeks in England for a termination ….she’s got time….not loads …but time to make sure any decision she makes is the right one for her

I'm sorry this has happened, but you do not have time to sit on your hands and remain shocked. You are going to have to take control to make whatever arrangements need to be made. She is clearly not capable of dealing with reality and practicalities right now.

Fair point!

What a shock for you. Does she want to keep it. If not or not sure, contact bpas for an urgent appointment..don't bother going to the GP, they don't do anything.

Aww bless her, what a shock. She needs an appt to discuss options and next steps