14 year old DD pregnant

[reddevil83]

Found out today that my 14 year old DD is pregnant. DD doesn't want anyone to know so I have come on here as I just need someone to talk too.
I don't even know what to write on here I am so shocked.

Oh, and surgical is very quick. In and out, with a week of preventative antibiotics. Probably far kinder to DD than a drawn out tablet process.

For people saying that she needs to talk through her options - I disagree. At 14, there is no option here but termination. She isn't old enough to understand what being a mother entails and she's also not old enough to be responsible for another human life. This is where the adults in her life need to step in, make the right choices for her, and then ensure she has support and education afterwards to ensure she is emotionally cared for and also that this doesn't happen again.

Nonsense. Although I would encourage a 14 year old to seriously consider termination (and it sounds as though that’s what OP’s daughter wants anyway), it’s still her choice.

No it's not. She's under age.

Oh, the poor love. GP tomorrow and they will get things in motion.

@Singersong I’d encourage OP and her daughter to do what they feel is best.

OP said the father is also 14.

So is the father of the baby

Good to see most posters giving sensible advice.
Hopefully once you see the GP things will move quickly and soon this will be a memory.

Poor poor girl. What a horrible shock for you both. But how brilliant that she knows she can confide in you and that you will help her sort it out.
What is to come will be horrible. An abortion is nasty, whatever age you are. She then needs to go on some long term contraception if she is in a relationship (may be a good idea even if she is not). And please work out whether or not this boy coerced her into it (you say friend's brother - was he her boyfriend?)
She will get through this but will need help. And so will you in the long term. Please respect her privacy and don't tell the rest of your family.

@YouJustDoYou perhaps you should “just do you”

If you can’t be helpful you’d be better off not posting

What makes you think it was rape?
Do you not think as the child has disclosed the pregnancy to her Mum that she'd have disclosed she had been raped.

You have to move quick here, they’ll check with a scan and not with dates they had sex and it can add some time if it measures big.

In my NHS area, you don’t bother with the GP. There is a self referral phone line for abortions; you just call yourself and they book you through. No GP involvement. See if you have something similar, and if not then get into the GP first thing because you can’t wait 2 weeks for an appoint. Confirm before you go that that particular GP will refer for abortions as some won’t and you have to wait for another appointment again.

If she has already decided she doesn't want the baby then that is fine but I would not be pushing her into anything. Resentment later might be the consequences.

This is not your fault. I didn't see the judgy comment but I can guess it. Adult women get pregnant all the time without meaning or wanting to. It's so drummed in that pregnancy is hard to achieve that some don't think once is a risk. Well it is.

GP appointment asap or maybe go direct to a termination clinic if she's sure.

I hope everything works out for her.

What is wrong with you?

OP already said the dad is also 14.

Oh no what a nightmare. Good luck with everything. She needs to think about her options.

Couldn't read and run.

You sound like a great mum. DD told you as she loves and trusts you.

But what a shock for you. Sending hugs 💐

@TemuSpecialBuy

I am a secondary teacher and I strongly disagree with your recommendation not to tell the school.

The OP's daughter will have gone through a traumatic experience and she will need support and understanding. The school can provide counselling if she needs it, and making teachers who need to know aware of what's happened will help them keep an eye on her, make allowances for any temporary behavioural issues, and also watch out for any friendship issues or bullying that might result.

As teachers we are there to support our students through whatever they're going through and when parents don't disclose really important stuff like this, it often has really negative consequences for the child.

Get an appointment first thing tomorrow. Bless her, I was a 16yr old mum, but 14 is very young to find yourself pregnant.

Better than a life time of having a baby she doesn't want and isn't ready for. Try some grown up thinking.

Nobody. Read the OP’s posts.

The boy is also 14. Did she rape him? Or do is it just the 14 year old boy who did something wrong and she is sweet and innocent and a victim?

There was no rape here. Two 14 year olds consenting. No police officer is calling this rape. No court is calling this rape. Back off.

@Singersong

Why not? It’s actually easier. You’re under anaesthesia and it all just happens. What’s the problem? If that’s what she wants, then why not? Your personal beliefs have nothing to do with it.

And unnecessary and unhelpful

Lucky she’s not your daughter, then.

He was 14 too..

calm down. Unhelpful.