Pinning toddler down to brush his teeth

[holymacarones]

DS is 2 years and 8 months old. Over the past few months teeth brushing has became a traumatic experience (for us all), it doesn't matter whether it's me or his dad to do it he just won't cooperate. It's one thing I'm quite strict on because I never looked after my teeth growing up and regret this hugely as an adult. It's really like wresting a wild alligator. Making up silly songs used to sometimes used to work but absolutely nothing including bribery and offering rewards helps. He screams, wrestles, clamps his hands over his mouth and spits it out. Offering for him to do it himself doesn't work either.

I've been having to resort to pinning him down with great difficulty as he won't stay still and is wresting to get away but this is really upsetting for both him and me, I feel so guilty and sad that I've made him so upset, after tonight he was that upset he asked to go straight to bed without us doing a story and he loves a story before bed. He gets himself so worked up and despite being small he's so strong so it's actually really difficult to hold him down. Am I seriously traumatising him? I don't know what to do but I'm at my wits end with it and desperately looking for advice. He has no additional needs as I know it may be asked.

DP (his dad) works away during the week so by Thursday/Friday I can't cope with the ordeal anymore so leave all the brushing up to him but he's exactly the same.

I adopted a position where they lie flat on their back with head between your legs and arms out to the side, and then you have your legs over the top of their arms. They now request that position to brush so it clearly wasn't traumatising.

We also did the 'Oh I can see some cheese, let me brush that off' etc. And the most successful was the pen torch (we were given it after a head injury A&E trip) and they enjoyed looking in my mouth, theirs in a mirror, shining it in their mouth for me to look and then eventually for me to brush.

But I seriously hate brushing their teeth. It is literally my least favourite parenting task.

I had to do the same with my youngest. It was absolutely a last resort.

How long would the posters who disagree with it let their children go without brushing their teeth?

What a load of rubbish. Children often have to get pinned down for things as you can't always reason with them because they don't have the understanding. My friend used to have to pin her DS down to administer asthma medication as not administering it could mean he died. Children are often held down for other medical procedures in including vaccinations..

Obviously no one died of unbrushed teeth (although there are links between some very have health outcomes and gum disease) but it's a,parents responsibility to ensure that a child's health is looked after and teeth brushing is essential unless you want your child to have no teeth and gum disease. I think they'll like having to go to the dentist to have loads of dental treatment or all their teeth taken out much less than a little brushing. Obviously you try other methods first but sometimes you just have to pin them down if they won't play ball another way.

It's not traumatic. They are having their teeth cleaned, not ripped out. If it were traumatic then children that were pinned down to have their teeth brushes would all have PTSD and never brush their teeth again. But we know that's not true and children as they grow, they outgrow the stage of needing to be pinned down and just start brushing their own teeth.

I remember those days @holymacarones

DS was more than happy to have his teeth brushed.

DD really wasn't. I tried everything and then some. The towel was effective only if I could get her in the right position.

The one time I tried the bribery route aged 3, she only drank water for a day and a half.

So my options were to pin her down or let her choose to starve herself.

NT-very strong willed. Always has been and is using it to good effect as she's approaching adulthood.

I felt rubbish as a mum having to pin her down to brush her teeth, but I had no other options left. Those on this thread who are telling you not to do it have never been there themselves.

If trying an electric toothbrush doesn’t work, look up autism toothbrushes on Amazon and they tend to be three sided, so brushing is quicker and easier. I’d also recommend getting Oranurse toothpaste because it’s tasteless and foamless so might be better for him.

The main problem with pining him down is that he will learn all he needs to do is bite down on the brush. You could also damage his gums if he is wriggling like that. I think tooth brushing is a long game - like food - getting him in the routine of brushing is more important than getting his teeth brushed tonight.

Lots of ideas on here to make it fun. I bought an electric toothbrush- the dentist told me to just be extremely careful to use it lightly on their teeth as they are 3+ because it can damage gums. I aimed to cover the teeth with toothpaste (dentist advice) I’d bring him to the dentist for a chat as well. My dad has false teeth he used to take out to demonstrate what happens when you don’t brush!

We had same issue - wild animals in the mouth brushing game fixed it.
'Oh my goodness... did you hear that? I just heard... was that a LION??? Quick I need to get him out of your mouth' By the time you've found and brushed out a few animals it'll be all done

We’ve got a Yoto and we play the teeth brushing timer on that whilst the DC brush their teeth, and quite often I’ll brush mine at the same time so they can copy
what I do. Even still, sometimes DH has to lie DS2 across his lap and do it for him! They definitely don’t always brush them properly, but we visited the dentist recently and she said their teeth were perfect, so I’m not too worried.

Can you stick on a fun teeth brushing YouTube video or something for them to have on at the same time?

Gawwd I could have written this. Twins are 2y 6m and have got better at having their teeth done but some days it's still the horrible 'pin them down whilst they're bawling their eyes out' thing and like you, I wondered what was worse... having unbrushed teeth or a traumatised child?!

All I can say is that ours have got better the more we've persevered! Most nights they do cooperate now. They have little electric toothbrushes which they love. And while my partner brushes their teeth I sing which helps. Or just tell them they can watch a video they like afterwards. Good luck!

Lordy, the drama!
OP needs to brush her TWO YEAR OLD's teeth and after cajoling, reasoning, bribing etc. doesn't work, holding him still for a minute or two is reasonable and needed.

IMO it would be bad parenting to just let a 2 year old dictate they won't be brushing their teeth. Ridiculous.

I'd do a light up electric tooth brush and agree with PP the "what foods shall we brush off today" worked well for us.

Remember, it's just a phase and it will pass. We had some struggles for a few weeks around the same age but we just powered through.

All of you people who are saying it is OK to pin a child down to brush its teeth need your heads examined. I can not believe anyone is encouraging this. How about if two giants pin YOU down until you are frightened to death forcing a huge brush down your throats every evening before bed?
Would that be a good way to convince you? No it would not.

Just stop and think about this will you???
I cannot believe the number of parents here on MN who are suggesting this.

Please stop for God's sake!

I see no problem with pinning them down and making it happen. I did it and it worked. My children are all in their twenties now and have certainly not grown up traumatised.

Teeth must be cleaned, like it or not. The. End.

The Pokémon Smile app worked for us.

Yes it is.

Spiderman bubble gum flavour toothpaste sorted this for us. I didn't realise before she actually found the minted toothpastes really unpleasant and this is quite common.

The DRAMA 😂
You could only be this smug and self-righteous if you’ve never had a difficult toddler. How nice for you.

@Bellsandthistle , I disagree . No child enjoys having its teeth brushed at first. But force is never the answer.

My eldest nephew was terrible at that age. There were 4 adults living in the house, so we let him choose his adult, and then the rest of us got our toothbrush and paste and casually started brushing.

Soon, he wanted to join in our fun game.

Couple of weeks later, he was fine with his mum in a routine.

I bought my grandson a battery toothbrush that came with stickers, that he decorated himself. Strawberry flavoured toothpaste was a winner and we put on the Blippy toothbrush song on our tablet (it's on you tube and very annoying, but works for us).

I try and remember to shut all windows so the neighbours don't hear the drama and just get on with it any way I can. Often pinning down/wrapped in a towel. Those kicking legs though....what do we do with them?! It feels like a UFC battle in our house.

Oral B Magic Timer app worked for a while for us (as recommended on here) and seems to have made it slightly easier, even since they grew tired of it, but I don't allow them to do it themselves, they can finish it off but I need to have a proper brush first.

The absolute drama, hate it.

I never looked after my teeth as a kid and wasn't made to, but I do force it and don't feel bad for it at all.

One of mine was OK, the other had a brief (didn't feel like it at the time) phase where nothing consistently worked -I had tried nearly everything on this thread- and most nights I was pinning her. It feels awful and so so wrong - to cause such distress, to override everything that you hope to teach about bodily autonomy, to worry that you are creating such negative associations with brushing. The phase passed, the games and all the rest of it started to work more consistently, she's 5 now and happily brushes her teeth.

At the time, I talked to a dentist/mum friend about it. She understood how awful it feels for child and parent to pin, but she said you know what feels more awful? Doing full mouth extractions on anaesthetised 3 year olds (ok that maybe got non stop sugary drinks as well, but still). She hates that part of her job and explained that it's not vanishingly rare either- she has done several and it's horrific to think how preventable it was in most cases.

A lot of the ideas on this thread really helped us. There's a Peppa Pig episode about the dentist; DD was a Peppa fan so that helped. Also letting her brush my teeth while I brushed hers quite often worked (I damn near got a tonsillectomy a few times, her motor skills didn't match her enthusiasm, but it was worth it).

Sometimes we had to play dentist for ages first. I would lie on my back and let her be the dentist hoking about with a wooden lolly stick and a torch, loudly denouncing the rubbish state of my teeth - handily I have two congenitally absent lower premolars (a more obvious defect than all the white fillings) so she ritually laments the fact that they fell out because I ate too many sweeties and didn't clean my teeth properly. Then we'd swap over and I'd peer at her teeth with the torch and gently tap a couple with the lolly stick, exclaiming on how good they are because she brushes so well and doesn't eat many sweets. Then she'd sit up and brush, or let me brush, to maintain the warm glow of superiority.

Our lovely dentist is in on this too. Two DDs and I all get done in one go, as my missing or defective teeth are getting charted the dentist has to join with the gleeful toothshaming call-and-response of "Why?" "BECAUSE SHE ATE TOO MANY SWEETIES" "And?" "BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T CLEAN HER TEETH PROPERLY". Their teeth have , so far, been perfect - dentist announces this, I ask the children why? "Because we don't eat too many sweeties and we clean our teeth properly". They get a sticker each, I don't, their teeth are The Best mine are The Loser, then we all thank the dentist and loser mummy with her crappy teeth takes the winners on out and lets them have another look at the fish in the tank in reception on the way .

I've been there op! DS was terrible for a good couple of months. I could see the plaque building up on his teeth as he wasn't allowing us to brush properly. He's loads better now.

Things that worked for us:

Getting him an electric brush with his favourite character (Spiderman).

Using the Disney toothbrushing app.

Strawberry toothpaste was a total game changer for us. Mint is too spicy as pps have said.

I'm in the "don't ever pin your kid down" camp. You might not "traumatise" your kid but you may well put them off toothbrushing so it's counter productive.

Vegetables are also essential for a healthy diet, would you force them into the mouth of a fussy eater? No.

Sometimes children must be forced to do things.

Tooth brushing is not optional and must be done every single day.

If your only option is to force the child you are a bad and lazy parent if you don't.