Do men have it harder than women with somethings

[seewhatssaid]

Just that i was having a chat to day with someone i know and she said yes men do get a rough time now.
I aske give a reason you think that she said this.

A single young woman went to her housing office afew weeks ago and claimed homelessness she was places in a b&b and giving 56 days to bid on a home and banding will go up to band B.
A single young man came in 2 days later same issue working etc he was told all they can do is give him a sleeping bag and a tent his banding wont go up due to no high needs.
She said both cases were the same both single both working min wage.
But got treated very different.
I was a bit shocked i said well this dont happen much she said it happens more than we know.
After a catch up it got me thinking do some men have it harder than some women.
I know on MN they do but in real life do we not see it as much.
I have to almost adult boys and i think what would i feel like if someone gave them a tent because they are well just men.

I dont think Mnetters are going to like this.
🍿

Men do have sone things harder

The social expectation is different and harms their mental health because they are not trained to open up to friends in the same way for example and they have less diversity in role models beyond be the provider

But compared to what women have to put up with and given that it's men on the whole who created the social expectations and society...

I'm struggling to have much sympathy tbh

Toxic masculinity harms men, but men created that mindset and expectation.

Men also experience violence from other men. More women are killed by men though.

Women are more vulnerable if they're out on the streets though due to rape and sexual assault.

Men have things fixed up the way they like it, so they'll just have to crack on I'm afraid.

There is a lack of accommodation for people who need it, sadly many who need it don't get it as those deemed most vulnerable will be prioritised.

Well men are never right are they.
I sometimes think some women take feminism to far sometimes.

Yup, single men are low on vulnerability scales so will get housed as a lower priority. And ofc there are some areas where the patriarchy and toxic masculinity damage men as well as women. It’s why men don’t discuss hard emotions with friends leading to isolation and mental health issues; delay going to the GP; get into physical fihhts when drunk etc etc etc.

In the example you have given, it's not an even starting point. In general, a woman on the streets would be in a much more vulnerable position than a man. A significant proportion of that risk would stem from men.

That said I do think that changes to society have made it difficult for some men to adapt. However, this is also not true for all men - those that are in my immediate circle are absolutely fine.

I suppose, in this case, a woman alone in a tent would be at more danger of harassment, assault or robbery than a man alone. But I don't know if that was their reasoning. 🤷‍♀️

I genuinely think there are a plethora of 'mens rights' issues but unfortunately mens rights activists are usually more interested in trying to blame women and/or justify shitty behaviour than addressing genuine issues.

I've read some things that make me think they do in some circumstances.

Like if a man and a woman are evicted, a man is handed a tent and told to make do, a woman is out in emergency hotel etc.

Of a man and a woman breakdown on the motorway, the lone woman will get AA quicker whilst the man is expected to fend of roving gangs all night.

I think society expects more from men sometimes too. Like if there's a man and woman walking down the canal and a kid fell in, who'd be expected to dive in? .. or change a tyre?.. or fix the car?.. set up a satellite dish?.. dynorod the sewers?..
But at the same time, I think they have to hide parts of themselves because it's almost not allowed. Imagine a 45year old woman and man, they both love Winnie The Pooh.. it she wore a shirt and carried a bag covered in Winnie The Pooh, not many people would bat an eye.. if the man did?...let's be honest.. people would find it odd.
....

But I don't think women have it easier as such...

I think there's pressures for both sexes and societal expectations of both sexes.
I think those pressures and expectations have lead to the rise in people trying to check out of their genders.

Men wanting to be feminine.
Girls not wanting to be objectified.

It's kind of fascinating really.

I think its pretty shit that we dont have enough homeless shelters or emergency housing for those in need.

Yes, I do think so with some things. Suicide rates are much higher for men. I think the support networks aren't there for them as much when they fall.
Personally, I'm very glad I'm a woman and not a man, for a great many reasons.

Really? I definitely think homeless women are more vulnerable, and should be prioritised. But, nonetheless I feel very sorry for homeless men too. Everybody needs a home.
Surely all homeless people (many of whom have mental health issues) are deserving of sympathy?

Who created the housing shortage in the first place?

Which is why you have to look at these things as systems issues.

Men have a hard time mentally, yes. But who creates toxic masculinity, porn, trauma from violence in the home, a lack of services and all the other things that contribute? Mostly men.

Who grass roots staffs the NHS, counselling services, social programs and also manages the mental health of most families? Mostly women.

And I'd be stunned if a woman and man were offered that level of different service in exactly the same circumstances.

^I think society expects more from men sometimes too. Like if there's a man and woman walking down the canal and a kid fell in, who'd be expected to dive in? .. or change a tyre?.. or fix the car?.. set up a satellite dish?.. dynorod the sewers?..
But at the same time, I think they have to hide parts of themselves because it's almost not allowed. Imagine a 45year old woman and man, they both love Winnie The Pooh.. it she wore a shirt and carried a bag covered in Winnie The Pooh, not many people would bat an eye.. if the man did?...let's be honest.. people would find it odd.^

Or change a nappy? Or wash an elderly relative? Or clean the toilets?

Woman and a man walk into a swimming pool, neither has shaved anywhere, no-one bats an eye at the bloke, the woman gets side-eye (or in my case offered a razor in the pre-pool showers!)

I don't think more is asked of men, just different

The homeless thing, is purely vulnerability. Men need to step up and stop attacking women and men.

I support a homeless service locally and it has definitely been the case that the majority of users are male.

That being said, this means that in the service model, what is normative is male. By this I mean the service model was designed by men, for men. For example, the 'please donate' leaflets only relatively recently changed to include requests for specific items for women rather than letting them rely on the Salvation Army food & clothing banks (a mile away) for tampons and women's clothing.

There are plenty of vulnerable homeless women.

Who created the housing shortage in the first place?

Margaret Thatcher was one of the biggest culprits! But, she didn't care about any women besides herself sadly.

I think the question OP was asking if if men have it harder with some things. Obviously not with all things. It's a reasonable question.
I think with some things they do. Gentle sensitive men especially.
Alpha males are the problem.

The problem with men not being given housing - and I can see why this happens - means that it is in their interest to move in with a woman and/or start a family - so perhaps encourages false relationships.

My other point with men is that women are discriminated against in the workplace but not all men are tall handsome CEOs. There are men with problems such as depression, introverted, difficulty socialising who also struggle but there's no mention of them ever. There must be loads of men in shit jobs they hate.

I don't think there was a housing shortage in M Thatcher's day. The population has exploded since her day and few houses are being built (i've no idea why and that is both 'Govs).

Alpha males are the problem.

I'm not sure this is the case. Mass killers are often 'shy loners', tech men who harass women online are often 'nerdy introverts', boys who get pissy about being friend-zoned and harass girls at school are often the 'sensitive friend'. Certainly the mass controls of capitalism and governments are more likely to be alpha men but the foot soldiers are typical men.

The patriarchy is the issue. But the patriarchy benefits many more than just alpha men. A lot of them have a vested interest in maintaining it, even though it hurts them too. It doesn't hurt them as much as not being the in-group would.

I've worked in housing for decades. The homeless shelters are staffed by many wonderful women (except for the managers, of course, they're often male). We're doing our bit. Men have to step up.

Women have it harder with some things, men have it harder with others. The late Norah Vincent went undercover as a man and discovered life wasn't all sunshine and roses. She wrote a book, too: Self-Made Man.

There are also a lot of stories from young women who transition and are unpleasantly shocked by the reality of being treated as a man.

I know a lot of young men who feel like society doesn't really care about men (as individuals) or their mental health. I also know a young man who felt like he was seen as inherently bad for being male, saw female classmates get preferential treatment etc., and he cited this as the reason he identified as a woman for a while in his late teens.

It does disturb me how dismissive, unsympathetic or even downright gleeful some people are when men have problems.

It was Thatcher's policy of selling off council housing that has contributed to current lack of social housing now.
Obviously it's not the only reason for it. But it is a big factor.