Do men have it harder than women with somethings

[seewhatssaid]

Just that i was having a chat to day with someone i know and she said yes men do get a rough time now.
I aske give a reason you think that she said this.

A single young woman went to her housing office afew weeks ago and claimed homelessness she was places in a b&b and giving 56 days to bid on a home and banding will go up to band B.
A single young man came in 2 days later same issue working etc he was told all they can do is give him a sleeping bag and a tent his banding wont go up due to no high needs.
She said both cases were the same both single both working min wage.
But got treated very different.
I was a bit shocked i said well this dont happen much she said it happens more than we know.
After a catch up it got me thinking do some men have it harder than some women.
I know on MN they do but in real life do we not see it as much.
I have to almost adult boys and i think what would i feel like if someone gave them a tent because they are well just men.

And all of those can be linked back to the patriarchy, which is why it's so frustrating to see people think it's because of feminism or 'man hating'

@seewhatssaid
I agree @TryingToSeeTheFunnySide even though i have experienced unfortunately some shit experiences by men,

I don't want to get into a mode of thinking all men are likewise too,
It's a struggle at times to think like this when you come across a fair few Arseholes in your time,

However i don't want those kinds of men to have the continuous toxic power strong 💪 hold over me

As they are simply not worth the energy bandwidth
So i am going to seek effective therapies whatever out there to address this pressuring issue topic

@CutthroatDruTheViolent

Hear Hear Hear
Tell it as it no sugar coating straight to the point post
love it 💛 👏🏿 👍👏🏿👏🏿💪🙌 ✊️

men dont have it harder than women in any aspect of life @seewhatssaid

end of

hth

Men are far more likely to get their penis caught on a zip. They also appear to get in the way of doing their fair share of drudgery and often thinking too so I guess it evens out

Man haters out in full force as usual.

One of my good friends became homeless when her tenancy ended and she could not find an affordable alternative. Housing told her she'd have to sofa surf. 🤷‍♀️ It's not just single, childless men. It's single childless people. (She stayed with me until able to cobble together a deposit even though my house was technically overcrowded as a result.)

I have boy/girl twins. My son rejects toxic masculinity. As do all his friends. This despite the fact they're otherwise 'typical' males who love football, darts and going to the pub. It hasn't been easy though - during his formative years he used to get fed up of me critiquing adverts/film and TV/institutions various policies etc and he and his sister were both given equal access to toys/activities regardless of gender.

The reason we were successful in raising happy, productive, well-adjusted young men IMO is because all of us have good partners (or jettisoned useless partners and did it singly) and brought our DC up to respect women and see men and women as equal with obvious biological exceptions. A child doesn't need 'a strong male role model' just 'a strong role model' with the view that we all owe it to ourselves and society to be decent to others and self-reliant as far as possible. What messes this up for so many men is usually bad role modelling from other men or women with internalised misogyny.

Undoubtedly some men suffer from prejudice but when I hear things like 'men don't get custody' it annoys me when prior to separation the father only had primary responsibility for the children a fraction of the time anyway, happy to leave it to the mother when it suited him. Courts just reflect this.

@Tartantunic "Man haters out in full force as usual"

Where?

@CurlewKate On the thread.

That's so true - there's plenty of guys who wouldn't engage in that behaviour but just about zero who will challenge it to other men.

The only thing the man vs bear thought experiment shows is how unscientifically some people think.

If you do a little bit of basic maths, you really don’t want to encounter the bear.

People are driven by two biases here; an irrational fear of men and an irrational liking of bears (probably driven by Pooh Bear and teddy bears).

It feels like gaslighting to say a woman's fear of an unknown man is 'irrational' considering over 90% of girls and young women say they have been sexually harassed in public, 1 in 30 women have been raped or sexually assaulted and 2 women are murdered every week by a man.

We can't tell which are the good men and which are the bad ones. Acting based on fear isn't 'irrational', it's self preservation.

@whatsitcalledwhen ,

‘It feels like gaslighting to say a woman's fear of an unknown man is 'irrational' .

For starters, that isn’t what gaslighting means. Gaslighting is trying to make someone think they have gone mad by deliberately pretending they never said something or did something that they clearly remember doing.

Secondly, it is irrational to think that a man is more dangerous than a bear! The issue here is how likely you are to get attacked per encounter. The vast vast majority of male strangers represent no threat (most male/female assaults are people who know each other). It must be way less than 1% chance of a strange man attacking you on a path. On the other hand, how many bears do you honestly think you could encounter without serious injury or death (2 or 3?).

@Newbutoldfather

For starters, that isn’t what gaslighting means. Gaslighting is trying to make someone think they have gone mad by deliberately pretending they never said something or did something that they clearly remember doing.

Ok, it sounded patronising and completely lacking in empathy or critical thinking as to the female experience. Hope that's better.

The issue here is how likely you are to get attacked per encounter.

I don't think you understand the nuance behind, or purpose of, of the man v bear thought experiment. Your determination to minimise women's rational and sadly necessary risk assessment of men is depressing but unsurprising.

Your focus is on telling women there is only one sensible answer, rather than focusing on why women are choosing the bear in this thought experiment.

If you have daughters, please listen to them with an open mind as they are growing up rather than dismissing their feelings as irrational if they are ones you don't personally experience too.

@CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment &@CurlewKate

Even the good guys intentionally and unintentionally enable even when it's blatantly obvious as in its only a bit of banter having a bit of laugh or Boys will boys after all,

Another words down playing or trivialising problematic 🤔 concerning and deeply repugnant shitty mens well Arseholes attitudes and behaviours etc,

There should be a nation wide media campaign on TV and on flyers on how to effectively challenge this kind of insidious behaviour in a safer ways,

as maybe the fear could be with good men is how to descalate situations whithout flare up a situation adding spice to potentially volatile situation,
and putting themselves in danger too,
such as out walking about, seeing a man threatening that he will physically harm his girlfriend,

or
How to have self cofindence,
How to not lose face in front other men,
by standing up for female friend or work mate
in all kinds of senerio situations such as in workplaces pubs just out and about in general ect..

there are a few men who are able to stand up for females in this kind of situation effectively and don't worry or care how they come across to other men etc..

@Tartantunic "@CurlewKate On the thread."

A couple of examples of the "out in force" man hating would be good.

Here are some things men can do. Not all men can do all of them. But all men can do some of them.
1.Take full responsibility for their fair share of domestic work and childcare.

1. Challenge sexist/ misogynist/violent talk and behaviour every time they see it and wherever they see it
2. Stop using prostituted women.
3. Challenge sexist work practices-for example making sure that any panel, board or committee they are on at least represents the sex balance of the organization - if necessary refusing to go on it if it isn't.
4. Stop watching porn.
5. Stop buying and playing sexist video games, and films that don't pass the Bedschel test.

7)Think about how they parent their boys, and remember that they are the next generation of men. And that they are the man their children will learn by about relationships from. 8) Make sure that they acknowledge, and let their children see them acknowledge, the contribution their wife or partner makes to the family. This is particularly important when she is a SAHP.

I'm sure you can read. The examples are strewn throughout for anyone who wants to look.

@Tartantunic "I'm sure you can read. The examples are strewn throughout for anyone who wants to look."

Ah. A poster said "You know, not all men are completely wonderful white knights sans peur et sans reproche"

"BURN THE MANHATER!!!!!"

Calm down.

I think men do have it harder sometimes. They are never right especially on mn.
I read a thread not long ago where a poster saw a single man in the cinema and this was very odd behaviour to her.
Men can be single men can go places and do thing on there own.
And mostly they are walking red flags. Everything is graded as abusive or offensive if the other half dont like it.
If he sees a woman and say she looks nice they are called a sex pest.
If they say a woman is over weight they are called disgusting pigs etc.
Yet women do this and nothing said.
Then thers the 50 50 rights now some have it they dont like it.
And child maintenance is never enough.
Treating kids as piggy banks.
If a woman changes her mind in having kids fine its ok changes his mind you need to re think your relationship.
If a man walks around topless hes disgusting a woman walks around with her arse out fine.
If a man says put some shorts on hes controlling.
Is a man wants to wear sandal in is style wrong its embarrassing he should do what you say.
All of above is what ive seen on mn.
And many more. If he cheats kick him out take him for everything if she cheats keep your mouth shut.
MN is the wost platform for double standards.

Neither do I. Show me some examples.

Sorry-just realized this is a zombie thread.

The good or bad news is men have been in charge for 5000 years more everywhere so they couldn't/wouldn't change that. Women have been emancipated in the UK for 130 years and still haven't got equality in many areas and in many parts of the world (most of it) are trafficked, murdered, abused, oppressed at every opportunity.