Do men have it harder than women with somethings

[seewhatssaid]

Just that i was having a chat to day with someone i know and she said yes men do get a rough time now.
I aske give a reason you think that she said this.

A single young woman went to her housing office afew weeks ago and claimed homelessness she was places in a b&b and giving 56 days to bid on a home and banding will go up to band B.
A single young man came in 2 days later same issue working etc he was told all they can do is give him a sleeping bag and a tent his banding wont go up due to no high needs.
She said both cases were the same both single both working min wage.
But got treated very different.
I was a bit shocked i said well this dont happen much she said it happens more than we know.
After a catch up it got me thinking do some men have it harder than some women.
I know on MN they do but in real life do we not see it as much.
I have to almost adult boys and i think what would i feel like if someone gave them a tent because they are well just men.

Yes, it absolutely can be. And yes I have absolutely definitively seen women state exactly this - one lesbian was rudely asserting on feministcurrent a while back that wanting heterosexual sex meant you could NOT be a feminist and stated clearly that she was a rad fem.

Case in point, anyone can claim to be any sort of feminist and the word means nothing.

Irrelevant.

Nobody’s othering men. The two halves of the human race are separate and distinct from one another. One half does all the raping and most of the murdering and the other doesn’t.

I'm sure men will be relieved to have another groveller cheerleading them though. 👏

A grovelling cheer leader because I recognise there's nothing to be achieved for women by telling all men they're rapists?

Acknowledging the hard ships of black men and other minorities does not make anyone a groveler.

That's a rather rude response.

"Roving gangs"?!

It doesn't take a 'roving gang' or any other hyperbole scenario to understand that a lone woman is more vulnerable than a lone man in a breakdown situation.

I think what happens in all the situations mentioned is that risks are assessed and the women are deemed at more risk. Usually from men.

Of course men's lives are not all privilege from the moment they rise till the moment they sleep. But overall, they are more privileged than women.

This would be interesting to look at in terms of policies that are in place where much more policy is determined by public vote.

Switzerland, for example, is normally neutral in wars.
it was very late to give women the vote.
It has recently voted for self-id.

Well, of course they do, lots of things.

The idea that men have it better in the uk in 2024 (especially the MN demographic-mainly middle class, educated and reasonably wealthy) is not based in evidence. Of course, you can talk about the pay gap (without discussing how much of it is via choice), sexual assault, certain STEM careers etc.

But you won’t want to mention social and financial mobility (far more women get rich via marriage than men), the gains of divorce (mostly accruing to women), the option of a portfolio career with breaks, high risk jobs going to men etc etc.

You only need to pop in to a David Lloyd on a weekday morning to see who is playing tennis or having a coffee with friends to see that some women aren’t having it that bad!

The reality is that this is a bit of a stale discussion. Some women have it really easy, others (and you read many cases on here) have it very tough.

Men and women need to solve societal issues together, not have a fantasy fight with the non existent patriarchy whilst simultaneously saying they want a man ‘who knows what he wants’ when they date (I.e testosterone fuelled and embodying what they would call ‘toxic masculinity’ when posting on here).

It's a data set that is frequently misrepresented.

Here's a link:

datepsychology.com/are-27-of-young-men-really-virgins-and-why/#:~:text=This%20shows%20a%20very%20strong,aged%2018%2D30%20are%20virgins.

Some comments from the author of the article here:

This shows a very strong effect of age on male virginity. In this, 50.52% of men between 18-20 are virgins. For men over age 25 (but not older than 30), only 1.9% are virgins.
I have seen the WaPo chart interpreted untold times by people who think it means that 27% of all men aged 18-30 are virgins. 27% is across the whole group. It’s a highly skewed distribution, with the vast majority of virgins falling into the youngest age cohort.
In other words, it’s really quite normal to still be a virgin at age 18. It’s very uncommon to be a virgin at age 25.
As I wrote in the previous section, the 18-19 age bin only has 20 subjects. This is too small; it will produce a high margin of error. This is likely why you see such high variability from year-to-year. The GSS uses a weighting variable to make disproportionate sample numbers representative of the population.

And not only this, but because women choose less violent methods and often take steps to make it look like an accident to minimise distress to those left behind, women’s successful suicide attempts are much more likely to be recorded as accidental or of unknown causes. So women may in fact have higher successful suicide rates as well as higher attempted suicide rates, we just don’t know.

It frustrates me when this is given as evidence for how things are worse for men. Every measurable indicator for mental health is much worse for women, except for successful suicide attempts, and these are very hard to interpret.

I had a chat with my fifteen year old son recently. It was depressing to be honest. He’s right when he says there’s always suspicion towards men, he’s also right when he says it’s caused by certain men behaving awfully, but that doesn’t help him feel better about it and how he goes through the world.

People do generally feel suspicious of men, and that’s shit for the men who aren’t arseholes. Women can’t be blamed for it either. It’s the men who behave badly and they deserve other men coming down on them like a ton of bricks.

Quality of friendship is another. Women have supportive friendships, men just take the piss and it’s hard to take the banter into a serious conversation if they need help. Again, men need to change this.

What a great answer, thank you!

what does it matter who it is by?

However that's largely because a woman on the streets is easy prey for men. If men didn't regularly rape, beat and kill women, then the risk of the man and woman being homeless would be equal. She gets accommodation to protect her from men. (NAMALT, of course.)

@Questionsthree "Yes, it absolutely can be. And yes I have absolutely definitively seen women state exactly this - one lesbian was rudely asserting on feministcurrent a while back that wanting heterosexual sex meant you could NOT be a feminist and stated clearly that she was a rad fem."

Just because someone misuses a word doesn't mean that the meaning of the word changes.

‘Quality of friendship is another. Women have supportive friendships, men just take the piss and it’s hard to take the banter into a serious conversation if they need help. Again, men need to change this.’

There isn’t a nation of men and a nation of women. The way we have babies and live together implies that men and women are totally intertwined. I don’t think many feminists would like some kind of fundamentalist society where men and women were totally separate and only came together for sex.

So, it is completely disingenuous to pretend men or women can unilaterally change the behaviour of their sex.

There is a lot of dishonesty in this topic as some totally choose to ignore biology which, like it or not, still plays a big role. A large part of us is still great ape and we should work with this rather than labelling it as ‘toxic’ and channel it appropriately.

Yep I agree. My son was hurt badly by a girl whose friends then took him to task as he ‘didn’t look upset enough’. He came home to cry. Had he been ‘upset enough’ at school then the entire school would’ve known and laughed.

He’s not gone near another girl since. I doubt think he will until he’s in his twenties!

I think those of us who have teenage sons see the other side and it isn’t especially pleasant. In fact it breaks my heart a bit. When I asked both my kids what sex it’s easier to be they both said female (my daughter said it a bit smugly!).

I wouldn’t be a man over being a woman.

I agree with you. Society as a whole should work on these problems, starting with how we bring up our children.

And you’re right, we aren’t separate, nowhere near.

I guess carrying one's brain in one's dick probably gets uncomfortable sometimes.

@bozzabollix "So, it is completely disingenuous to pretend men or women can unilaterally change the behaviour of their sex."

I don't pretend that. What I do think is that if men were more willing to think about their own behaviour and challenge the behaviour of other men then things would change.

@CurlewKate completely agree. Toxic men will certainly listen to other men more. I know some men who do step up, even very young ones (teaching one such brave 17yo to drive at the moment who had a massive go at another boy for treating a girl badly). The more that happens the better.

Anecdotally from my teen. Teen boys are much nastier to teen girls than the other way round. Their group chats about girls are disgusting v personally abusive the girls ones are not like that about the boys. When a girl ends a relationship bar one boy they all turned nasty and abusive. Girls don’t.

Women can be just as abusive as men.

Exactly!
As stated in my previous posts, it's powerful alpha people (mostly men) of the ruling class who made most of the rules. Obviously far more men historically have held positions of political power, so we think 'men' made the rules to suit them; but it's more nuanced than that.
Unfortunately though, examples we have had of women in powerful positions aren't always shining ones. The example you cite. Also Margaret Thatcher, QE1, even Paula Vennells (the post office scandal) and many others.
Now, I am guessing far fewer women would be interested in power in that sense. We are often more interested in working as a collective. So, there's that.
But, I still think it's power. Mostly powerful men.
I see ordinary working class men oppressed by the system too, and think we just all need to unite together to make the world a better, kinder, more equal and more peaceful place. That just won't happen when all men are held up as the enemy.