Do men have it harder than women with somethings

[seewhatssaid]

Just that i was having a chat to day with someone i know and she said yes men do get a rough time now.
I aske give a reason you think that she said this.

A single young woman went to her housing office afew weeks ago and claimed homelessness she was places in a b&b and giving 56 days to bid on a home and banding will go up to band B.
A single young man came in 2 days later same issue working etc he was told all they can do is give him a sleeping bag and a tent his banding wont go up due to no high needs.
She said both cases were the same both single both working min wage.
But got treated very different.
I was a bit shocked i said well this dont happen much she said it happens more than we know.
After a catch up it got me thinking do some men have it harder than some women.
I know on MN they do but in real life do we not see it as much.
I have to almost adult boys and i think what would i feel like if someone gave them a tent because they are well just men.

Many men do

@TryingToSeeTheFunnySide "I see ordinary working class men oppressed by the system too,"

Of course they are. The patriarchy oppresses men too.

I agree, a woman could be as abusive as a man.

Statistically, though, one sex is murdering the other at a rate of two a week.

Equivalence on a case by case basis isn't the same as equivalence at a societal level.

NAMALT, absolutely. And some women are awful and abusive too.

That doesn't change the fact that there is a huge, disproportionate gulf between abuse of women by men and abuse of men by women.

@cannonballz "Many men do"

Good. Obviously not enough though.

Feminism has no definition. It's just not that difficult to understand. When a word can mean anything, it means nothing.

@Questionsthree "Feminism has no definition. It's just not that difficult to understand. When a word can mean anything, it means nothing."

Radical feminism does have a definition.

The problem is that the alpha men women claim to detest are not ostracised by women either-not by a long shot. I would say that men are far more judgmental of them.

Look at Clinton, Boris, Trump etc etc. They never have any problem with getting mates or female friendship.

And then, if you look in schools, the absolutely appalling sexist and rude boys are surprisingly popular amongst the girls.

Of course, men should always call out other men for bad behaviour but, again, biologically these alpha males do still seem to be attractive to females. As long as this continues (as it will for at least centuries, evolution is slow!) they will be incentivised to behave this way.

The reality, in my opinion, is that society is becoming more selfish and self-obsessed for a variety of reasons. This manifests itself differently in men and women but both sexes are becoming more unhappy and suicide rates are increasing. The internet has had a huge role to play in this. It is easy to blame the opposite sex for this, which leads to further polarisation, but it won’t solve anything.

@wendycupcakes

do you? How do you think they take it too far?

exactly. no one should be homeless

Men who didn't go to fight in the first world war were literally pelted with white feathers on the street and shamed as cowards....by women.

Alpha men have always done well with women.

My mother used to tell my step day on a daily basis he was useless nothing but a walking pay check.
Only useful for money and to do the dirty jobs.
She took it as far as telling us as kids that we can get away with anything because were women.
She lied to him and about him to others it ended with divorce she was an awful woman still is she lied in court and took everything from him.
My step dad is a good man he moved on re married a lovely lady.
Mums money soon ran out and she still blames him 28 years on for her hard times now.
She done it to her self i rarely see her almost NC now.
The last 2 of her new partners walked away from her.

I looked at some post on here about how some people lived as kids awful stories and mostly its the mothers to blame it says alot.

I don't think it's a competition. Not sure why you're trying to turn it into one.

In addition there isn't a single LA in the country that allocates housing based on sex alone. And none of them hand out tents. So at least you can put the story in your OP to one side and not give it any further thought.

It sounds like you have several issues arising from adverse life experiences that you would benefit from working through with a therapist. I hope you have some support for this irl.

@Newbutoldfather

Of course, men should always call out other men for bad behaviour but, again, biologically these alpha males do still seem to be attractive to females. As long as this continues (as it will for at least centuries, evolution is slow!) they will be incentivised to behave this way.

Rules of misogyny number one ticked off there.

#1. Women are responsible for what men do.

Well the do hand out tents and sleeping bags in our area SUFFOLK.

I'm sorry your mother was abusive.

I'm sure that has influenced your perception of male / female dynamics which at a societal level often (not always, but often) play out very differently to the way they did in your home.

I looked at some post on here about how some people lived as kids awful stories and mostly its the mothers to blame it says alot.

"Mostly" the mothers to blame? How so? I've been on here for the best part of a decade and don't recognise this to be true at all.

Re the conversation about what feminism is, and whether it's a meaningful word etc.

Maybe I'm being very simple here, but I just thought it meant believing in the equal value and rights of the sexes? That's all it means to me anyway.

I don't know much about the subsets. I'm afraid I don't really know what radical feminism is?! 🤭

@whatsitcalledwhen ,

Your style of debating/conversation is very confrontational (to other women as well as to me).

I am not quite sure what the point is of joining a debate forum if your mind is already 100% made up.

What do you get out of it?

I think the different forms of feminism differ in how much they think an individual can solve the problem by taking responsibility for herself and how much they think it's caused by structural problems in society

Radical feminism is the later ( I think!)

Just look at the stately home thread it says a lot.

...I am not quite sure what the point is of joining a debate forum if your mind is already 100% made up ...

Lol.

The elephant in the room in these discussions is that there are biological differences between men and women, and those differences mostly run in the direction of women being more vulnerable than men. So there are inevitably situations (such as dealing with homelessness) where 'fairness' doesn't necessarily means treating the two sexes identically.

A consequence of that is that 'keeping scoring' over who has it harder is a bit meaningless as the two sexes are starting from very different positions and facing different problems.

I don't think you know what feminism is.

Feminism isn't batting men down to make them less than. It's levelling the playing field for women and advocating for rights that protect and safeguard women.

So arguably, on the contrary, people don't take feminism far enough because women are still seen as less than men, unequal, and still have to fight for their protections under law that do not affect men.

The elephant in the room in these discussions is that there are biological differences between men and women, and those differences mostly run in the direction of women being more vulnerable than men. So there are inevitably situations (such as dealing with homelessness) where 'fairness' doesn't necessarily means treating the two sexes identically.

Yes, leave a woman on the streets and it's not unlikely that it'll soon be a woman and a child.

Apples and Oranges. We both have our struggles, expectations, imposed impossible standards, some are similar and some are not.

For example, a 20 year old girl on a night out is at greater risk of sexual assault. A 20 year old man is at greater risk of violent assault. The chances of being battered or knifed on a night out are higher than those of being raped.

Many women expect a man to be a certain height (6ft) before they will even entertain the idea of him, not something short guys can do much about. Many men won't entertain the idea of an overweight woman.

etc etc..