Do men have it harder than women with somethings

[seewhatssaid]

Just that i was having a chat to day with someone i know and she said yes men do get a rough time now.
I aske give a reason you think that she said this.

A single young woman went to her housing office afew weeks ago and claimed homelessness she was places in a b&b and giving 56 days to bid on a home and banding will go up to band B.
A single young man came in 2 days later same issue working etc he was told all they can do is give him a sleeping bag and a tent his banding wont go up due to no high needs.
She said both cases were the same both single both working min wage.
But got treated very different.
I was a bit shocked i said well this dont happen much she said it happens more than we know.
After a catch up it got me thinking do some men have it harder than some women.
I know on MN they do but in real life do we not see it as much.
I have to almost adult boys and i think what would i feel like if someone gave them a tent because they are well just men.

It does disturb me how dismissive, unsympathetic or even downright gleeful some people are when men have problems.

Many of us have worked with vulnerable men for decades in a caring and professional manner. I get dismissive, unsympathetic and gleeful when it is set up as:

A) a dichotomy with women's problems to minimise ours and centre theirs
B) made out to be women's problem to solve.

Men have problems and many of us help. But on a women's website, let's centre women.

Suicide rates are only higher in men because they choose deadlier ways to kill themselves such as hanging and guns.
Women actually attempt suicide on a greater scale than men, they just choose ways to do it which have a higher save rate such as over doses and self harm.

I think the support networks aren't there for them as much when they fall.

Once again, where are the male support workers? Where is the funding? It's not women's issue to solve. The lack of care and funding is almost 100% caused by men.

You know that feminism is wanting equality? How is equality too far?

But on a women's website, let's centre women.

The OP asked a question specifically about men and I answered honestly.

Also I do not agree that "gleeful" is ever an appropriate response to human suffering.

I guess you have no idea how dangerous men are in terms of being a vulnerable homeless women? Can't even imagine why they might be treated differently because of the significant danger men pose to women?
Lucky you.

I'm not saying it's remotely fair we have homeless men either and that we can't provide for everyone who needs it, but women definitely require a higher level of protection.

Because of lots of things like seat belts in cars etc being designed to protect make bodies rather than female bodies I feel the argument that men have it worse in terms of safety etc a bit rich

@songaboutjam
My son was telling me about Norah vincent to day.
I do think men do get talked down a lot and they can never do anything right.
My son is a bin man and he got shouted at the other day by a woman that said your a bin man your just trash get a real job and man up.
All because he ask if she could not put dog poop in the blue bin because they are not allowed to take it.
I get its not the best job in the world but its still a job.
My eldest got hit in the face with a spanner by his GF and she wouldnt let him eat unless it was vegan he was 20 years old weighed 7 stone.
He told housing he was being abused and if they have a male refuge they said they was not awear of any and offered him a tent.
His brother went and got him and brought him home and is now bidding in a band D hes much better now.
But DV does happen to men to.

@wendycupcakes "I sometimes think some women take feminism to far sometimes"

In what way?

That's a fair point.
I don't know. I have done a lot of voluntary work with homeless people. A lot of very lonely, damaged men out there. They're victims of the patriarchy too. I really do think it's the rule-making, alpha males who do so much damage to our society. I know some lovely, kind, gentle men. I can't see them as the problem.

OKay well i do know how bad men can get thank you i have a body of scars.
I was beaten pretty much every day for 4 years i had my teeth smashed out so i think i know what its like.
My own child was conceived via rape.
So lucky you didnt have to go through that.
Dont ever judge anyone when you dont know them.

I think what we see as male privilege is actually white middle class male priveledge and working class men and men from other ethnic backgrounds do have it harder. Whether that's as hard as women from those backgrounds....

@seewhatssaid I'm so sorry to hear about your horrific traumas 😔

Men tend to lose their hair more than women.

Men can get prostate cancer, and testicular cancer.

Men don’t (one the average) live as long as women.

The problem is that the men who are are a threat to women are a threat to other men as well. And it's easy to forget that the things set up for women-like refuges and rape crisis centres- were set up, at huge personal cost-by women. There is nothing g to stop men doing the same.

-Men are 3x more likely to commit suicide
-Men have an overall lower life satisfaction
-Men are more likely to go missing
-9/10 rough sleepers are men
-Men are more likely to be victims of violent crime

Then you have that men take on riskier jobs so ar more likely to be killed on those jobs... army, oil rigs etc.

Men are less likely to get child custody.

Men are more likely to be made redundant.

A third of men are virgins by the age age of 30.

Men are encouraged to suppress feelings... a man crying to a woman is (often) seen as weak.

Men are fine supporting women in a relationship, but the majority of women would tire of supporting a man.

Women live longer than men.

Men have their own discriminations... height, build, penis size... a woman saying she wants a tall man has standards, a man saying he wants big boobs is a creep.

Obviously women have their own struggles, these are some of the men's.

Yes, that's true. But, I think the education system, and society generally, has, for whatever reason, made it so that women are more inclined to work together as a collective to set up those kinds of services. A lot of vulnerable men are more isolated and don't know where to turn. I don't know what the answer is?
I definitely feel very angry about male violence. But I don't feel angry with all men.

Then the classic MN responses as another example:

-A woman cheating must be a result of the man
-A man cheating is because he's scum
-A man wanting sex is a sex pest
-A woman wanting sex is natural, and she deserves better
-A woman not having an orgasm is down to the man's lack of skill
-A man's lack of orgasm must be death grip, porn addiction etc
-A woman as a SAHM has been oppressed by the man
-A SAHMan is a cocklodger

Obviously a large part of this is the forum... men ARE often the causes of angst in here, so responses are often 'skewed' (justifiably).

I think I would prefer not to be a man. Not because they have it harder but because as animals they have to deal with anger, competitiveness, high sex drive that can’t always be met. It feels calmer to be a female even with the disadvantages. Testosterone is powerful stuff.

Men are more expendable, at least the average male. Sent to fight in wars, make up most homeless etc.

Thatcherism.

I concur. I work in homelessness, and men have it very much tougher. It is not that women don't end up sleeping rough, they do, but out of two people in identical situations one male, one female, it is many times more likely that the man will sleep on the pavement than the woman.

I call it "the glass floor"

I know men are more likely to be mugged / victims of violent crime / killed than women BUT the risk of a woman dying at the hands of an abusive partner / being raped / sexually assaulted is comparable.

I looked up conviction rates for muggings the other day and I think it was around 65%. In comparison the conviction rates of sex crimes are around 1%. Are 99% of women really lying?

Men claim to struggle with a "crisis in masculinity". Maybe it is in crisis but one thing I've noticed is that it's not the happily married men who are complaining. It's the dickheads.

The only thing that does hold true is thar a lot of men have emotional issues because they're told to hold it in from a young age. However, it's not women that are doing this to their boys - it's men teaching their sons to repress their emotions.

Once men have had it rough for a few decades then I'll take them seriously.

I honestly can't help but feel like men deserve it after everything they have put women through for 1000s of years.

They invented the very system that is now hurting them.

Well young women have it worse than men on the streets, don't they? If not housed they will get raped and forced into prostitution/sexual slavery. So, actually, no, even in your example women don't have it easier, and the system recognises this. Fairness is different to equality.

Are boys today still getting told to suppress their feelings/not to cry in this day and age? That's shocking, if true?

I brought up my boys almost 30 years ago and I didn't do that and it wasn't the norm then where I was