Is there anything you did with your babies that isn't OK now and you feel sad today's parents will miss out on?

[CurlewKate]

For me it's the family bed. We coslept all the time when they were little, then on and off until they were about 8 or 9. No sleep deprivation for anyone, easy to deal with nightmares or night waking. And such security and comfort for everyone. I know it wouldnmt work for every family, but I'm sad that it's obviously not OK to even try now..

Lots of families still co-sleep, and it is ok to try now if following the safe sleep 7 guidance.

Everyone I know had their kids in the bed with them tbh.

I co slept with my daughter, she's only 5!

There may actually be a turn round on this on. With first DC (now 7), it was an absolutely not, no discussion from health visitor. By the time I has 2nd (now 4) it was "we can't recommend it, but if you choose to co-sleep, here's a check list of how to make it safer"

I know loads of families who bed share? You just have to follow the guidance for small babies to prevent cot death. Bed sharing never worked for us but great for many

ds is 14 and I think co-sleeping, especially when very young, is much more accepted now.

when ds was a baby we where generally told it’s dangerous whereas now there is plenty of advice on how to do it safely.

it is great there is advice on how to do it safely, think about how that came about though

Loads of people I know cosleep with their babies / toddlers

I think families on the whole are hugely less social. Families used to have more party's with wider family and friends, parents would let their hair down and kids would just get on with it. Now it feels that the whole thing has to be centred around children and I'm sure they probably enjoy it less.
I used to be picked up from school and then the childminder let me get on with whatever I wanted. She never micromanaged me or made me do an activity for ofsted. I was just allowed to roam.

Co-sleeping is much more accepted now. The guidance changed to include it rather than tell families not to.

I'm pleased to hear this. When I talk to younger people co sleeping always seems to be a guilty secret and an ongoing worry. I'm so glad the tide is turning. And I do worry when I read on here about people sitting up with babies on the sofa rather than "risk" co sleeping.

It is important to understand the co-sleeping guidance isn't about making it safe. It's about making it safer. It still isn't recommended, the guidance is just about how to reduce the risks.

I co sleep with my two (under 4yo). I find opinions to be very mixed. Some people I tell will turn around and inform me that they too, co sleep. Others will feel the need to lecture me about how I should never have started it.

Mine was given a chocolate button after his 1yr jabs, by the nurse. No vaccination stress for us 😁.

I bet they don't do that any more.

Crikey we all co- slept for 8 years. I never thought twice about it (not that long ago).

I'm reading this with 2DC in bed next to me!

We often invite their friends over but rarely get invited back because in most families there isn't a stay at home/part time parent. I look back really fondly at most afternoons being spent at my friend's house or her at mine. (I don't want to start a debate - I support every family's right to do what works for them, I'm well aware living costs often necessitate both parents working and agree women shouldn't leave themselves financially vulnerable.)

Plenty of people still co sleep op. It's great there is a big push towards safety. For what it's worth, I often had dc2 in my bed and I do not recognise the words "no sleep deprivation for anyone". The bugger still deprived me of my sleep whatever the scenario!

@WalkWithMeSuzieLee I agree, it’s sad that more women have to go back to work nowadays. When I was of primary school age I was constantly going round my friends houses. Their mums would be there making toasties or sandwiches for us! I loved it. I loved playing outside, too.

I feel sad thst DS can’t play out like I used to at his age.

I also feel a bit sad that he will never experience the joy of riding around in the boot with his cousins (parcel shelf out of course)

Yes I think both parents working full time is the biggest shift. Between my first (aged 19) and my friends with little ones now the amount of 2 f/t parents has quadrupled. Those lazy days of parks, forests, trips to the beach, museums etc that we did at least twice a week, plus hanging at playgroups and each others houses can't be happening nearly as much.
A positive shift is parental leave rather maternity leave. I have a few mates where the Dad is off for 6 months or more and this creates a massive shift on usual gender roles.

I’m of South Asian heritage and we’ve always co-slept for centuries! If it’s not your mum it’s your grandmother you’re with, no rules for safe sleeping etc. you just sleep, as we always have. I co-slept with my youngest, less with my eldest. I feel sad I did less with my eldest but they were a good sleeper on their own. They’d even just wake up and chat away to themselves as a little baby!

Happy memories.

Strangely though most people I know who co-sleeps/slept are/were terribly sleep deprived! We did a mix.

Long, lazy summer holidays!

Both my DH and I spent our summers as children at family summer houses - for a couple of months over school holidays, just running around outside from dawn until dusk making our own fun.

We both work full time so I’m not sure how we can achieve similar without not actually going on holiday together.

The houses are still in the family but it’s more ‘go for a week’ than ‘decamp for two months’.

It’s a loose plan in my mind to try and arrange a couple of weeks exclusively WFH once they’re school age so we can do it (with a local babysitter of some sort so I can still work).

Other than the fact it was nice, I fear my children will spend their summers indoors gaming / online otherwise.

Co sleeping was on the naughty list when I had mine, but because I was BF (and only because I was BF) the midwife recommended it and advised how to do safely.

For me it's using video monitors, they look so stressful and distracting constantly watching your kid, I'd have flinched every time they rolled over. They were available but weren't as popular when I had mine, whereas all the mums I know now use them. Plus they're bloody creepy!!

yes, i was a sahm
0r at least very part time on temporary contracts
able to attend special assemblies
i know how lucky i was