Is there anything you did with your babies that isn't OK now and you feel sad today's parents will miss out on?

[CurlewKate]

For me it's the family bed. We coslept all the time when they were little, then on and off until they were about 8 or 9. No sleep deprivation for anyone, easy to deal with nightmares or night waking. And such security and comfort for everyone. I know it wouldnmt work for every family, but I'm sad that it's obviously not OK to even try now..

My lovely Dad used to buy us large boxes of broken biscuits . . . we were allowed one plain and one cream or chocolate biscuit before going to bed every night. I remember scrabbling down to the bottom of the box trying to find the cream and chocolate ones (there weren't many!)

We had our biscuits with a mug of warm milk sweetened with demerara sugar. It was a lovely cosy treat before bedtime . . . I'm not sure what little children have nowadays!

This sounds so lovely!!

My kids have warm milk too, and sometimes either a yogurt or a nice bit of buttery toast. Definitely no biscuits or added sugar 😂 poor little mites.

WTF my kids still get in my bed 😂

No seatbelts on the back seat - duvet and pillow and lying across the back seats to sleep on long journeys

General roaming and independence from a young age - from age 8 I'd go down to the local meadows and rivers with friends on our own and swim in the river and make dens

@Edenmum2 "I know loads of people that co-sleep now, what makes you think it doesn't happen"

I'm pleased to hear it. I don't know any who openly "admit" to it. And it is very frowned upon on Mumsnet.

It’s the opposite. 90s babies were shamed and told to cry it out. They now say bedsharing is absolutely fine just do it safely and my NHS and health visitors are every anti cry it out. So thankful!

Bedsharing and extended breastfeeding way more common in my circle. Probably depends where ylu are 😊 and among educated working women, not just stay at home hippy types although I am now more of the latter

@Newsenmum "It’s the opposite. 90s babies were shamed and told to cry it out"

I had a 90s baby-nobody I knew did CIO. Maybe it varied by area or something?

I’m a grown woman but was a 90s baby and although I think there are actually many better things now (less sexism in lots of ways, more open to other ideas and practises) I find it sad that women are shamed so much if they give up paid work for a bit (and that was normal back then!) obviously I don’t want women shamed for working either, I just wish it wasn’t now so taboo to want to pack in the career for a bit and just really e joy life during the weeks with the kids. No social media and you could spend weekends doing mundane things like being in the garden or going to the supermarket and coming home with a cake for tea and that was all great. Now I’m constantly wondering if I’m doing enough and every weekend feels like I need to be don’t more. Social media and all that.

Both my parents and in laws said they were told by health visitors they needed to cry it out and have babies in their own room. There was Gina ford, all very strict. They felt like failures for not managing it. You’re probably right it depend on areas. The good thing about now is we have the internet so we can find each other! And not feel alone.

How are your kids now? I want to know this as I sometimes feel bad about bedsharing (it’s the Americans who are very anti it generally!) and also I’d like to know when it ends 🤣 as much as I also love it.

I used to love the clinic’s free ‘orange juice’ - in a glass bottle with a blue top. Wasn’t so keen on the cod liver oil, though! But the one took away the taste of the other.

I well remember the big blue tins of National Dried Milk, which is what my 2 younger siblings were given - in glass feeding bottles.

I think family groups are so different now. I grew up with a whole pack of cousins that I saw regularly and who were all around the same age. My husband is 1 of 4 siblings and whilst all are in our 30’s, there’s only one baby (my nephew) and there doesn’t look like any more any time soon. He has one much older cousin on his Dad’s side (who is also 1 of 4). Out of 8 adult children across the 2 families there are only 2 kids very far apart. And that holds true for most of my peers - the ones who have kids are few and far between among their friends and family. I don’t think children will grow up with lots of cousins or family friends kids in the same way as I did in the 90’s.

My youngest is almost 7 and Youtube for babies wasn't such a thing then - it wasn't expected to put a phone on with cocomelon or dancing fruit every time you needed to change them, feed them, put them in the buggy.
I'd say it was more ok just to let babies be, and if they were kicking off because they were bored in the pram there wasn't so much pressure to make them quiet with a screen.

@Newsenmum "How are your kids now? "

They are in their 20s now. I can't actually remember when it finally ended-it was such a gradual process. They started to go to bed in their own beds and migrate in the night and the migration tailed out until they only happened occasionally for bad dreams, something stressful happening.The last time I remember was dd coming in the night before a big thing happening at school when she was10. But it was very much a one off and it hadn't happened for a long time. That's why I remember it.

I feel sad that kids aren't allowed to be bored now, and make their own entertainment. It seems (from social media, admittedly) that kids are doing 3 or 4 activities a week, and trips out every weekend, whereas a trip out used to be an occasional treat. Poor kids must be knackered.

Also, I look after two young family members, and they always get left in the garden, asleep in the pram

When I was a child there was less known about child development and parents were therefore more relaxed about babies milestones. Toys were generally just playthings rather than being regarded as having educational value and we had the same meals as our parents but the baby's food was put through a mouli grater

Families were bigger and often had other family members living close by so parents generally had more experience of babies and small children and therefore knew about the different stages that little ones goes through with teething, weaning, tantrums, potty training etc.

I think my parents were a lot more relaxed about parenting than the younger members of my family are . . . present-day parents obviously have a lot more information about nutrition, development etc but it does seem to cause an awful lot of anxiety and pressure for young parents IYSWIM

Mine are 5 and 3 and napped in a buggy outside, in the carseat, on a blanket outside, in a bouncy seat. Wherever really! Id be keeping an eye but I wouldn’t be next to them every second.

I co slept, my youngest is 9

They still sleep in with us when they can and want us in their bed

Playing out, which was the norm when I was a child. We've moved recently to a cul de sac where my youngest plays outside with other kids it's really great to see. I don't think kids are allowed to be bored and make their own fun, which is a shame, and an additional pressure on parents. Youth clubs are no more, another staple of my childhood. I feel maturity is delayed by all the restricted or timetabled activities.

I'm 35, coslept with my nearly 4 year old his whole life, and my 15 month old is on the other side. Most families I know cosleep and the NHS approves it now too

As a baby I had one of those bouncers that hung from the doorway. I think my very active / hyper baby would have loved it, but when I looked it up I found a very strong warning against them from the Society of Chartered Physiotherapists or something.

I used to love the hour along the M62 travelling in my parents car boot so my nan and auntie could fit in the car 😂
TBH, its probably a good idea this doesn't happen anymore !!!

I did Gina Ford contented baby routine in the 90s, and then again in 2008! To be fair it worked for me and my babies, but I’m a very “routine” person.

Yes to medised! That was a magical medicine for any cold or virus! Gutted when they withdrew it!

Tbh I think a lot of babies and kids are really sleep deprived now. There seems to be a bit of a virtue around your kid not sleeping and saying you’re being woken up 15 times a night ‘but it’s fine because it’s biologically normal and I’m meeting their needs’ 😳

all I can say is I hope they’re not getting behind the wheel the next day

I had my DC late 80's/early 90's. For one I could drink coffee when I was pregnant! I hear that's advised against now.

It just feels to me like there's now such a myriad of things you can and can't do. Back then we just got on with it. Both mine were weaned at 12 weeks. They were ready. Once they were on solids they slept through the night.

If you had stuff to do, you either put them down for a nap or stuck them in a bouncy chair! A friend of mine had a baby a few years ago and she was of the mindset that every minute the baby is awake you need to be engaging with them somehow. Which I know she found really tough.

It all just sounds so much harder now. I think the big difference is back then, when you had a baby, they fitted in with your life. Now everything revolves around the baby. I can't say if that's better or worse but it definitely makes life harder.