DH has just told me he's going on a lads weekend and won't be here for my birthday

[Yaddayadda89]

I'm really pissed off.
It's not a special birthday, I'll be 44
This year I'm going away with girlfriends for a week abroad. I'm working a second job to pay for this. The week away is not to celebrate (or even near date wise) my birthday.
AIBU to say DH can't go away ? I've said it's only fair he has time away too, seeing as I'm going away.
But on my birthday ?

What a d h, I'd be pissed off too, sorry OP. He doesn't respect you.

In our house, birthday celebrations would just get moved to the nearest available weekend. It wouldn’t bother either my wife or me that they didn’t happen on the actual day itself.

YWBU. You can't tell him he's not allowed to go. Its not a special birthday. Celebrate it before or after the day it's no big deal. It would be very unfair for him to miss out.

How would you feel if he TOLD you you couldn't go on your holiday

Oh rubbish. He's going a weekend away with friends. Presumably that weekend was the one that suited most of them.

So he's meant to miss a whole weekend away with friends just for a run of the mill birthday that can be celebrated another day

Well, I'd celebrate a different day.

BUT

I wouldn't book to go away on my husband's birthday without making triple sure he was sure.

Having said that, I'd have said no to the date without asking.

So the entire group have to accommodate you?

What if they can't get other dates off?
Why can't you just move your birthdya celebrations? Still have all the fuss and love just on a different day?

Or have a bit of fun and make it a week long affair.

But you can't tell him he can't go. He's an adult. And if that's how you ipperate are you willing to pull the same with you?

Does he have the power to forbid you from going?

So he's meant to miss a whole weekend away with friends just for a run of the mill birthday that can be celebrated another day

His wife’s birthday. You know, that person he’s supposed to care about.

His wife’s birthday. You know, that person he’s supposed to care about

Still a run of the mill Birthday. Had it been a big one fair enough but its not. It can equally be celebrated by doing something nice another day

Only on MN are every single birthday a huge event that needs celebrating

I have not said to him that he cannot go. I would never tell him what he can or cannot do and vice versa. I'm just really disappointed that its on my birthday. I had literally made plans for us, nothing booked but I was on the verge of suggesting a posh meal as I had seen somewhere that I really wanted to go to with him.
I just feel that celebrating on a different day wouldn't be the same. I would now rather just forgot my birthday this year as the 1 person I want to spend the day/ eve with won't be here.
DH wasn't involved in the weekend away planning and had no input on the date. It got booked, he got invited.

At 44 I would have no problem with this - we'd celebrate on a different day weekend. If it was a milestone birthday then that would be different.

So what do you all think she should do on her birthday while he’s off on holiday with his mates?

Whatever the hell she wants she's 44years old. I'm sure she can find something enjoyable.

Does he need to work a second job to pay for his lads weekend? If not, why not?

Go out with friends? She’s 44, not 13.

😂😂😂

Arrange a night out or in with friends of her own ffs she's an adult

Probably because it's a lot cheaper than a week away. Maybe he's been putting money away to cover it. Maybe it's irrelevant

To just ‘forget your birthday’ is a bit childish op. Just do it an another day and don’t make him feel bad about it.

You're 44, not 4. It's just a day - celebrate another day.

Well , we think she can probably do a myriad of things , surely . But ultimately, it’s her choice 🤣

I wouldn't go on a girls holiday on my husband's birthday. And vice versa.

Maybe it is. The op can confirm that. It’s pretty rude and thoughtless to book a weekend away on your wife’s birthday without at least a I’m really sorry honey what can I plan to make it up to you?

How do you know he hasn’t said sorry and what can he plan to make it up ? Op just says she wants to forget her birthday now.

He didn't book it. His friends did & told him the date. Maybe he has promised to make it up to her.

Really?

OP has booked a week away, why can't he? It's only a birthday