Preparing for old age?

[herewegoagainy]

I read many people frustrated that their elderly parents have done nothing to prepare for old age. So realistically what can people do ahead of time? I say being realistic as no one is going to clear the garage or attic that is full of sports equipment they are still using, or put in a stairlift when they are still going hill walking.

A good thing could be writing a will, considering who could be given power of attorney in the future if someone loses their mental capacity, budgeting for a gardener / cleaner, planning to downsize depending on the need.

I bought a cottage with a downstairs bathroom, so that if I become unable to manage stairs I can put a bed in downstairs and live on one floor. I'm also intending to get the bath taken out and a walk in shower put in instead. I downsized massively when I moved in here too, so there isn't cupboards full of crap for the kids to have to sort through or for me to have to try to find things in.

Well my parents moved to a house without stairs in their 60's, and a smaller garden. Just as well as their health has deteriorated in their 70's and they can't manage stairs anymore. They redid the bathroom too as my mum can't get in and out a bath anymore, they have a walk in shower now.
It was a big move involving clearing out 40 odd years worth of stuff and many trips to the recycling centre/charity shops.
No way could my dad do that now. I'm very glad they had the foresight.

I’ll be moving to a bungalow, paying for my funeral and arranging service so DD doesn’t have to.
DM wishes she had moved when she was younger and more able, she’s stuck now and needs the stairlift etc- but pride gets in the way. She takes 30 mins to climb the stairs.

I knew buying a bungalow would be suggested. They are expensive.

My parents home isn't a bungalow. It's a lower villa. Basically a detached property split in 2. It cost less than the semi they moved from and freed up some cash to enjoy a few holidays in their 60's. I'm glad they got to do that as again they couldn't travel now.

Moving to a bungalow may well encourage health decline though.

My DPs are still in the family home, aged 94 and 87.
If DF didn't have his workshop to tinker in he would decline rapidly I think.

This is why I bought the little house I bought. I have two upper floors but could live on the ground floor only if health dictated, but hoping that I will continue to get use out of my upstairs for many years to come!

I don't think it's so important to have a bungalow as you can always get a stairlift. My parents live in a rural area with little public transport. I wish they had moved somewhere with better transport before they needed it. Also, clearing out junk and downsizing is a good idea.

They are OP also hard to come by.

Or just accepting of a stairlift and help when needed I hate that DM would rather struggle than ‘ruin’ her home with a stair lift. It’s a show home and always was. Rooms that are pristine but never used.

I've joined the gym. I'm still in my 40s but I want to keep my strength and fitness for as long as possible so I'm putting the work in now.
Also have my will sorted and have discussed with DH about funeral etc.

So many things in all areas of life-

-LPAs for health and money
-Review your finances. If you are managing your own investments, is that something you can carry on with or would you prefer to pay a professional?
-Get your paperwork in order- will, details of accounts etc etc
-Do you need to move house? Do it.
-Declutter! The book of Swedish Death Cleaning is good inspiration, as is the experience of dealing with someone else's stuff after death- difficult and distressing. Save other people this burden.
-Health- lose weight if you need to, cut out the fags and booze and work on healthy habits. They count even more as you get older. Maintaining a social life keeps you young.
-Get your eyesight and hearing checked regularly. Uncorrected poor sight and hearing contribute to mental decline.
-Do you still drive? Ask someone you trust to tell you if they think you should stop.
-Spiritual life- whether you are religious or not, I think entering old age is a good time to reflect on what makes life meaningful for you.

I live in a house with downstairs that can easily be changed to one level living, including wet room

will sorted

weekly exercise program including cardio & resistance

investments spread and two mediocre pensions

All of this.

I think I will leave a folder of details, put valuables in one place, sort out paperwork etc.

Dealing with one parent's death and one's illness has been hugely stressful and we have about ten years of more stress ahead as we conclude businesses etc that we know nothing about. Add to that a fruitcake of a sister-in-law and brother with issues - I am determined not to make life difficult for my own children.

Just saw my physio for problem with back ( go through work - very lucky ) and talking to him made me really realise exercise and keeping mobility is key for healthy old age & future proofing . So that is what I'm doing !! Yoga anyone ?

Moved to a place with good access to hospitals and good public transport (this involved a massive declutter). Doing resistance training to keep bone and muscle strength. I have a will, but need to update it and do LPAs. There’s a folder with info about where the money is (banks and passcodes etc). Not that there’s much…

Also going through difficult times with DF at the moment and constantly on elderly threads . He is refusing POA so I'm definitely going to do that as don't want my kids to go through what I'm going through .

Access to good public transport or at least plenty of taxis is key. We had real problems getting my FIL to stop driving as he lived in a tiny village. He could no longer do the simplest journeys.

Me too. I see my mum’s life being limited by her lack of mobility and a determined to optimise mine for as long as possible.

Those wanting to optimise mobility, can I advise not to do extreme exercise such as triathlons. My mother went from incredibly fit to major mobility issues because of the impact of injuries and surgery she had when younger. She was told when having the surgery she would have issues when older, and she did.

1. The most important thing is to have an up to date will with several copies, and make sure people know where they are. Include passwords for computer.
2. Appointment 2 executors.
3. Sort out Living power of Attorney.
4. Make sure your family know your wishes on death, burial, cremation with service, direct cremation etc.
5. Try to declutter as much as you can.
6. I've left an A4 page on my laptop stating which gas company and my customer number, electricity company and my customer number, water company and my customer number, also bank account numbers and passwords for online account.
7. Details of postal address for holiday home, details of how to living pay taxes on property and when due, details of French bank account, customer number and passwords. Also the name of the person who speaks good English to ask for. Phone number of neighbour in France.
8. All keys in our hall in key safe.
9. I've left a letter for each DC stating how proud of them I am, how much I've loved being their Mum and watch them grow into amazing people and my wishes for them in the future.

We had a massive clear out and got rid of a lot of stuff a couple of years ago. We have had a downstairs shower room put in. We both have wills. We both have life insurance.

I was diagnosed with cancer last year, my husband was diagnosed with cancer last week. His does not need to be treated, he is 70 years old and it is very slow growing so he is likely to die of old age or something else before the cancer becomes a problem. Mine is being treated, realistically I probably have between 5 and 10 years to go if I'm lucky. We are very glad we already have everything sorted out - it's a real weight off our minds.

I think keeping fit and healthy is very important. I wouldn’t expect to be having trouble with stairs in my 70s - nobody needs to if they keep strong.

So lifting weights then something for mobility- Pilates etc. Plus cardio for heart health. Walking is fine if you’re not in to high intensity.

By all means get finances in order; power of attorney, declutter etc but I won’t be checking out bungalows and stairlifts!

@Delatron people have lots of issues that mean stairs can be an issue before their seventies. Arthritis, hip and knee problems, dizziness and vertigo are probably the most common ones. It is not just about physically being able to go up stairs, vertigo can mean it can be unsafe. And most of my friends who were keen skiers start to have issues with knees.

Will/discuss your wishes with family
Downsize if appropriate
Improve home for mobility etc