Preparing for old age?

[herewegoagainy]

I read many people frustrated that their elderly parents have done nothing to prepare for old age. So realistically what can people do ahead of time? I say being realistic as no one is going to clear the garage or attic that is full of sports equipment they are still using, or put in a stairlift when they are still going hill walking.

At a population level looking after yourself makes a real difference. At an individual level you can not rely on it.

@MikeRafone as I said in my post, you can exercise and try and control your weight but you cannot prevent diseases such as MND, aneurysms, spinal secondary cancers, MS, Parkinson’s disease). You can diet and exercise until the cows come home but you cannot control your propensity or genetic predisposition to certain diseases, a small number I’ve listed above. @Iwasafool concurs with her subsequent post

When planning downstairs shower rooms bear in mind leaving enough space for a carer / chair etc.

Having seen how much stuff my parents accumulated in their house and my one surviving parent being very infirm but (fiercely independent), and refuses to part with it has spurred me on to declutter my own house and 70% there as do not want anyone to face what I will, if I survive my parent.
For context I am mid fifties and work full time on my feet all day so although I’d not say I was that fit, I am fine. At the end of the day it’s just ‘stuff’ and it’s quite liberating shifting it on as others can benefit from it too if sent to charity or sold on rather than gathering dust.
keep meaning to do a will soon.
Its not a nice thing to think of but once it’s done you just forget about it and move on with your life and enjoy

For anyone wanting to work on their functional health I can recommend the book "Built to Move".

Keep moving! Walk, run whatever.. just keep moving. My mum would be in a much better position had she kept moving. She was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in her 40s so she just gave up and deteriorated from then on. She's on a shed load of pills and doesn't do her exercises. It's been very hard to watch but the thing I have taken from it is to keep moving to keep that bone density topped up.

Well we are mid fifties and so far we have updated our Wills and also made PoA for each other (with our adult children on there too) for finance and for health.
We are in the process of making a spreadsheet of where all our money is, who insurances are held by etc.
This spring when it’s a bit warmer we will be having a big clear out of the attic and storage in the garage - there is horse riding equipment and fishing equipment no longer used.
I have already downsized my book collection massively
The spare bedrooms now only hold a bed and a chest of drawers each, although there is ‘stuff’ in the drawers and under the bed of one room, but this too will be sorted through.
My parents house is still full of stuff which I would love to start clearing out but it’s not fair to do it while they still live there and they are too old now to tackle it themselves.

MyHuckleberryFriends

your post starts of with you can't control your health apart from obesity, this isn't something I believe is correct. I believe you have more control than just obesity. I agree that people are unable to control many diseases, but the top three disease killing people can be to some degree controlled

It is about risk. If you live healthy you reduce your risk of certain illnesses, but there is still a risk.

Yes there are many other things you can do to help your health in old age rather than just not be obese.

I teach pilates I have one lady who is 78, she’s been coming to my clases for 6 years. She can plank like a demon with the younger ones. She has amazing strength and mobility. It really is a case of use it or lose it.

She does not live in a bungalow..her husband has finally given up skiing aged 79…but is still very active on his bike.

You can’t account for random illnesses that can strike at any time but there’s lots we can do to keep strong, fit and mobile.

@MikeRafone did you not read my post? I said healthy people get cancer….yes a healthy lifestyle can reduce your risk of some cancers & illness but again I said having a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean you can’t get cancer.

That's just brilliant!

I’ve just done a power of attorney online off the back of this thread, so thanks! Was dead simple, took 5 mins to do each one. Can’t believe solicitors charge for this.

Why is it 'sad' to move into a bungalow at 50/60? Seems an odd comment.
In Australia most of their homes are single storey, its the norm over there.
We bought a bungalow with gorgeous views, lovely garden and nice plot/footprint. It's fabulous for us now, but equally will be easier down the line if stairs become an issue. I'd far rather be in our bungalow than any other 'house' we've lived in.
Bungalows only seem to be classed as for 'old folk' in the UK. Single storey life in a lot of other countries is seen as the norm 🤷‍♀️

@Delatron that is brilliant, but not usual.
The key is to encourage everyone to remain active, not to hold up the outliers. I think holding up the outliers demotivates many older people who know they can never achieve that. But they can still be active.

@RubyRed55 the UK class them as for old people because they are more expensive here than the same floor space in a house. So people only pay the premium if they need them.

What really there is to do?

I am quite mature mum with still young child. What is going to happen to me, nobody knows.

My grandparents all were looked after at home by my own mother, one had severe dementia, the other had terrible stroke which paralysed her and killed her slowly over couple of years time. The men just died in their sleep. My parents are older and well looked after by my brother. Everybody had kids to take over and look after them.

I am kinda praying God to allow me to live and be healthy and take me in my sleep without much fuss. Of course there might be some other preparation, not sure what though

This is very astute.

I think keeping fit and healthy is very important. I wouldn’t expect to be having trouble with stairs in my 70s - nobody needs to if they keep strong.

This is just naïve.

Useful thread though.

Things I plan to do:

Keep fit to retain as much mobility as possible.
Eat well and look after teeth to lower risk of disease.
Consider housing carefully - maybe look at retirement community when I start getting doddery.
Good finances and investments to pay for home care if needed.
Keep an active social life and investment in society through volunteering etc.
Sort legals and have affairs set out to lessen strain on POA/executors.
Try not to have too much stuff.

Lastly and most importantly, keep some powerful drugs around so I can make a swift exit if I end up diagnosed with Altzheimers etc. or too weak to get myself to the toilet without help.

That’s my point though. On this thread it appears to be unusual. Apparently I’m naive to think one should be walking up the stairs unaided at 70.. What utter bollocks.

Naive? To think getting up the stairs at 70 shouldn’t be a problem. Ok. What low standards we all have….

Will

Power of attorney

Do any major repairs to house like the roof, chimneys, walls/ fences, put in new kitchens and bathrooms before you get elderly and then these should "see you out" with no major work needing doing when you are very elderly,

Prior to that moving to an appropriate place that either can have a room downstairs used as bedroom and has a downstairs bathroom, or a bungalow. Somewhere only a short taxi ride away from doctors and a decent hospital and where it's easy to get shopping deliveries. A network of friends nearby for emergencies. Ensuring you have enough money saved for gardeners, cleaners, carers in your home if needed, handyman/ tradesmen for smaller jobs you can no longer do and have these contacts. Ideally some money available for private healthcare because it's likely you'll need it eventually for cancer treatment or a hip replacement or whatever if you don't want to die on a waiting list.

Affairs relatively in order so it isn't a huge hassle for kids to clear out decades of clutter from your house while in grief and there are no issues over probate. Write a sensible and fair will that won't cause family rifts when you're gone: what an awful legacy to leave.

Our house is in a hilly area. But it’s pretty well laid out. We have a downstairs bathroom that could be adapted and a separate downstairs room can be a bedroom (it was for last elderly owners). We also have a separate attached flat that we could have live in carers if we ever needed.

We are fairly minimal. Both our parents have health issues and so much clutter it stops them moving around own homes easily. I don’t understand why they don’t want to make life easier for themselves.

Of one of us needed downstairs bedroom converted, it could be done in a day as no clutter

There are countries where the majority of people live in what you in the UK call "bungalows". Do you really think the people in those countries "stagnate"? I live in one myself, and it sounds as though I get more exercise than you do - I don't work, but I'm out and about several times each day, and mentally I feel very far from "old age".