The parents of the 2 teenagers who murdered Brianna Ghey

[Netball01]

I’ve been following the horrific murder of Brianna Ghey, and it goes without saying that her poor parents / family must be going through absolute hell.

But after the names of the 2 murderers being released today, it’s made me think how on earth do their parents ever come to terms with what their children haven done ?! As far as I’ve read so far, they are just normal people. I just don’t know how you could ever try and move on from this.

Thank you. It happened three decades ago, but only just getting the therapy I need as I’ve had to fight and push for it. Not sure it’ll really help after so long. There’s much more darkness in my childhood so there’s a lot to get through.
i would like to add that my brother had shown a lot of red flags before his rampage. His childhood had been truly terrible. He was even arrested for something else in between his kills, then released for him to go on and do two more. I have huge survivors guilt as we were away for the weekend, but had we been at home we would have been included in that kill count as he had come to our house that weekend with a box he wanted to put our mothers head in. My six year old face would have been all over the news, papers, documentaries too.

Everyone talks about the parents but is seems some of the children have siblings? They are not responsible but, like motherofunicorns4, they will suffer.

Of course, as will nephews and nieces, cousins, grandparents… everyone this persons life has touched will be wondering how they missed it, could they have done anything, what if?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/brianna-gheys-mum-open-talking-32042107

A very brave person.

A few articles on restorative justice.

https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories-library/jacob-dunne/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000y0kc

There are some amazing people out there, the R4 program was particularly powerful.

In a sense web detectives, how are they any different than the media when putting the information together etc

I was sexually and physically assaulted at my mixed primary. I was safe at my all-girl secondary.

I can ignore bitchiness. I can't ignore a hand to my crotch nor a kick to my stomach.

In English and Welsh schools, there were 600 "peer on peer" (so boy on pupil) rapes reported to the police between 2012 and 2015. Lord knows how many were covered up.

Not only are academic outcomes better for girls in all-girl schools, they are physically safer and protected from sexual assault.

As someone who went to an all-girl school, I can assure you that "bitchy" behaviour is a walk in the park after the playground warzone that was mixed primary.

Where’s your humanity? A poster says she was sexually assaulted and you mock ?

My DD was in danger of being killed in an attack by vicious bullies at her primary, saved by a governor who saw what was happening while teacher happily ignored it. The bullies were girls.

There are nasty kids everywhere, boys and girls. Fortunately there are more nice ones in my experience.

We don't teach children to swim by throwing them in at the deep end and blaming them for drowning.

We cannot expect girls to learn how to navigate patriarchy by putting them in mixed-sex everything as children. Women and girls need respite from sexism in the form of female-only spaces to relax, rethink, and recover. The most powerful feminist spaces are the single-sex ones for a reason.

Believe me when I say that I experienced sexism during my secondary years: I didn't spend 168 hours per week at school. My learning experience was misogyny-free, and that let me focus on learning.

Anyone who mocks a sexual assault survivor is not fit to work in a school because that person cannot be trusted to support a pupil who discloses such an assault. If you are still working at a school, you should resign from your post.

I am very sorry for what those girls did to your daughter.

As SJ has shown, girls can be very violent. This doesn't take away from the fact that, statistically, girls are much less likely to be violent than boys.

This shows the problem. You assume the parents must be at fault. Sometimes they are but often they are not. Read the post a few an over yours. Watch the video that has been posted. It can happen to normal loving families.

@AgnesX I wondered what what was going on in these young adults' family lives. Nothing ever happens in a vacuum.
No but the family is not the only influence on a child

@Mirrormeback But that's a crime of passion

Oh that's ok then

One article I read said this but then another article said they were fine thing completely different

My goodness, so very sorry.

You were there saying you wanted to have your post deleted for posting a news article while quoting a poster who had both case numbers right there as part of the link!

If you are that worried you should probably be more careful when quoting people, links to news articles fine, but people posting links with case numbers that state the judge has put off sentencing because of concerns about prejudice, not so much!

Just a heads up there

Alice Miller is very interesting on Hitler's childhood. She is well worth reading ...

"Alois envied his son, Adolf, who unlike himself was born in wedlock in what had become a middle class respected family. He beat Adolf daily, once at age eleven nearly fatally, and he called him by whistling for him as one would for a dog. Adolf’s mother, Klara, was also beaten by her husband (who was also her uncle) and was a passive bystander when her son was beaten.

The year before Adolf’s birth, Klara Hitler lost three children to diphtheria, which produced poor emotional conditions in which to raise a newborn. She transferred her fears and anguish to Adolf, idealized her dead children, and expected her living children to embody her fantasies of the “perfect” dead children. An aunt who also lived in the household was described as schizophrenic and hunchbacked. Young Adolf was not allowed to express his fear of her. He never had anyone in whom he could confide. Miller repeatedly mentions in her discussion that understanding the origin of Hitler’s beliefs and destructive actions is in no way an exoneration of them."

https://hekint.org/2022/08/15/dr-alice-miller-on-hitlers-childhood/

I’m so very sorry @FriendOfTimo What a terrible loss for you. Timo sounded just lovely. Such a horrendous crime.

The link I had posted was to a court order on the judiciary.uk official website, which had been indexed by my usual search engine and had come up in search results. Someone running that website screwed up by putting a person's name in the URL, which is why I asked MNHQ to remove those posts.

It is necessary for the case details of the R v SJ and ER case to be in the court order otherwise we wouldn't know who we weren't allowed to write about and would carry on writing about that person.

To restate: it's the judiciary.uk staff who screwed up by not changing the filename, not Achings.

@MummyPop00 That link is 404 so I suspect that the newspaper have been told to pull the story. You know what I said about how we cannot know what we are not allowed to publish unless we can see the court order? I suspect that the paper didn't see the court order in time.