5 days to make him fancy me!

[Workdate]

I am very aware that I sound like a love smitten 12 year old!

There is a guy at my work who I have a massive crush on.
He is gorgeous and we get on very well.

I will not go in to too much detail as it’s outing but it is against the rules to have a relationship with clients.

I have kept the relationship professional and I have to be very careful about what I say because I could lose my job over it (no man is worth that), so there’s a big chance that he has no idea that I fancy him.

The issue is is that he’s leaving on Friday.

Once he leaves, it would be less frowned upon to have a relationship but we would have no way of contacting each other, unless we found one another on SM but both of us may think that it’s overstepping the mark.

I don’t know if he even likes me, so my first question is how would I know this?

My second question is what can I do to make him like me/ensure he knows I like him without it being unprofessional?

My third question is if it turns out we both like each other, how can we meet outside of work, without discussing it during work which is against the rules?

"Would love to catch up with you next week. Would you like my number?"

Yes - fab.
No - well at least you know.

To keep it casual for now you could say ‘oh we must swap numbers so I can find out how your new job is going’ and watch his reaction ????

Yup

Woah, woah, woah. He's a client rather than a colleague? Let him walk away.

Let him walk away??

Noooo

There should be a Hallmark card for this.

'So glad you're leaving. Here's my number. '

I’m not allowed to give him my number or ask for his!

I want to let him know that I like him without being too obvious in case he doesn’t feel the same way.

Then if I think he does feel the same way, come up with an idea of how we can ‘meet’ outside of work after Friday, which we will then be allowed to swap numbers.

I like the swapping numbers idea or get him a good luck card and put your number inside and just say "would be great to keep in touch". He is definitely single isn't he?

Ahhh I do keep fighting with myself over it but as he’s leaving on Friday I’m having a bit of a panic.

You're not allowed to give him your number? Just checking in case this is the type of job where outside contact is prohibited for good reasons eg probation or health type roles

What kind of job role are you in? That might determine whether it's appropriate or not. He will either fancy you or he won't, you can't make him fancy you. You could just tell him you've enjoyed working with him and you'll miss seeing him. If he doesn't take the hint, then I'd leave it there.

Is he a client or a colleague?

No I’m not allowed to give him my number.

We are both adults and there’s only a couple years in between us and there are no other things that may cause a power imbalance.

My role is equivalent to a PT/occupational therapist that have groups of men come in for a set period and then they leave and we get a new group.

They are not vulnerable in any way but it would look very bad for the company if the staff act inappropriately with the men and so it’s against the rules.

The men are also made aware of these rules and have to also abide by them and will be removed if there is any inappropriate behaviour (which is usually a positive thing).

And yes he’s single.

I was trying to flirt without making it obvious and so I said something about his partner and he said no he’s single and then asked me about my partner, to which I said I was also single but then the conversation changed.

In that case, I think you can't do anything unless you are prepared to risk your job.

I think if he liked you you would know, do you work closely with him? Has he given you any signals at all,
What age are you both?

If it is an any health type role than you need to consider if it is actually an abuse of the relationship I'm afraid.

What would your regulator consider to be appropriate?

If this was the other way round, we’d all be telling a bloke not to do it as it’s creepy and not ok in these circumstances. He’s the client so if he likes you, he will figure out a way to get in touch. You’ll have to let him walk away and keep your fingers crossed.

Indeed…
What sort of “client” exactly, op?

Surely this tells you to leave it alone? Sometimes you can’t have what you want. Trust me, I understand how difficult it is but I think you do need to let it go. Sorry.

Nope

Is it a prison, op?

It sounds really unethical to approach him, sorry.

Presumably he knows where you are if he wants to find you.

Ask him if he's been to a nearby cafe or pub and mention you're going to be there at 7pm on Saturday or whatever. If feeling really bold ask him whether he might have plans to be there at a particular time.

Hoping perhaps armed forces rehab. Fearing prison.

With what you said about your career, I really wouldn't do anything. It's not worth risking your job.