5 days to make him fancy me!

[Workdate]

I am very aware that I sound like a love smitten 12 year old!

There is a guy at my work who I have a massive crush on.
He is gorgeous and we get on very well.

I will not go in to too much detail as it’s outing but it is against the rules to have a relationship with clients.

I have kept the relationship professional and I have to be very careful about what I say because I could lose my job over it (no man is worth that), so there’s a big chance that he has no idea that I fancy him.

The issue is is that he’s leaving on Friday.

Once he leaves, it would be less frowned upon to have a relationship but we would have no way of contacting each other, unless we found one another on SM but both of us may think that it’s overstepping the mark.

I don’t know if he even likes me, so my first question is how would I know this?

My second question is what can I do to make him like me/ensure he knows I like him without it being unprofessional?

My third question is if it turns out we both like each other, how can we meet outside of work, without discussing it during work which is against the rules?

@WriterOfWrongs

Well yes, things have tightened up re teaching in the last few years. He was 21/22 and she was 18. From the few more recent cases of misconduct that I have encountered, there has not only been proximity in time (some schools put a no dating ex pupils clause for 3 years in their contract), but there has often been some evidence of a relationship on school property or a fairly significant age gap (20ish years) where the man made the first move, and the parents found out and complained and that has bought the teaching reputation into disrepute or has been in breach of contract. So it would depend upon the terms of her contract. But if it's something that doesn't involve a particularly vulnerable relationship and is more physio/health based rather than medical and mental health, which this appears to be (related to leisure/a hobby), there was no relationship during work or the start of one, then it is unlikely that a tribunal would find against her, unless a breach of contract.

After work leaving drinks. If there's no organised thing at your place, see if he (and a few others) want to go out for a drink as his leaving doo. That way it keeps it professional and you can swap numbers to "keep in touch" or similar.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned in the thread but if you know his full name, can’t you just find him on SM like anyone else would and contact him this way? Unless he’s one of the very few people who has absolutely no SM presence including LinkedIn then surely there must be some way to find him?

Did you read any part of this thread?

17 pages of comments? You expect someone to read through 17 pages of comments?

You could just read the op where op says he’s not a colleague?

I don’t think any work place organises a leaving “do” for a customer who’s used them for a couple of weeks.

Its akin to treating a patient for back issues in a clinic and then organising a leaving party when their treatment ends 😂

I stopped taking this thread seriously when the 254th poster suggested “giving him a book” as if they’d reinvented the wheel.

oopster74 · Today 13:19

17 pages of comments? You expect someone to read through 17 pages of comments?

Just read the OP's comments - if you click bottom right on first post you can just see what the Op has said.

How do some people cope with reading actual books? You can skim read 17 pages in about 10 minutes. It’s not War and Peace 😊

yes the slew of give him a book with your details as if it was a clever ruse
it wasn’t smart or or surreptitious on post 1 and remained stupid by post 254

As Friday was 2 days ago, I wonder if there is an update ?

God I hope not. Less the give hon a book crew get more emboldened

Yeah but c'mon where would we be without the guzzilion MN "cancel the cheque!!!" Or "contact HR!!!" On repeat . It's the law.

Yes, an update would be good as so many people provided advice

Ok,you’ve made a fair point. Give him a book with your deets is the new cancel the cheque

Just think @Zone2NorthLondon if the OP took the advice and gave him a book with her details in it, if they got married they could do a save the date by sending out books, and then give every one a book as a wedding favour. Surely you wouldn't want to miss out on the possibly of that?

@Zone2NorthLondon
@WriterOfWrongs
@daisychain01

Oh for gods sake, would you all be quiet, nobody wants an update from ye

Rude

Not like we - or I, anyway - have been posting a lot in the last few days. I think you can put up with one post from me.

On the contrary, I just feel we are all invested now,and I want to shout house if anyone mentions books or makes a platitude like what’s fir ye will no go by ye or some such guff. So I am definitely here for any updates. Thank you for your kind comments

oh dear, where's your sense of humour.

its raging outside, lashing with rain and we're just keeping each other company waiting for an update [drums fingers on desk]

I guess the OP isn't coming back, as it's now 27th and the OP last replied on 15th.

And it's a whole week plus a day since he was leaving.

id use the basics either want to get a coffee, or see a film etc something to begin the process and build from there

I found it odd that as soon as people said OP may have misunderstood or misinterpreted his friendly behaviour, and it would be unprofessional and a power imbalance to act in any case, OP popped up immediately with incontrovertible proof from her boss that he did like her and had confessed his feelings for OP to OP's boss. 🤔

Not convinced. No, OP won't be back.

No, OP won't be back.

She's probably too busy trying to find another job after having been sacked.

Either that, or shagging.

😀

Though more likely nothing has happened and she's stopped daydreaming

Hopefully it's the latter. 😁