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Original poster

5 days to make him fancy me!

437 replies

Workdate · 12/01/2024 18:46

I am very aware that I sound like a love smitten 12 year old!

There is a guy at my work who I have a massive crush on.
He is gorgeous and we get on very well.

I will not go in to too much detail as it’s outing but it is against the rules to have a relationship with clients.

I have kept the relationship professional and I have to be very careful about what I say because I could lose my job over it (no man is worth that), so there’s a big chance that he has no idea that I fancy him.

The issue is is that he’s leaving on Friday.

Once he leaves, it would be less frowned upon to have a relationship but we would have no way of contacting each other, unless we found one another on SM but both of us may think that it’s overstepping the mark.

I don’t know if he even likes me, so my first question is how would I know this?

My second question is what can I do to make him like me/ensure he knows I like him without it being unprofessional?

My third question is if it turns out we both like each other, how can we meet outside of work, without discussing it during work which is against the rules?

OP posts:
AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 12/01/2024 20:08

Do you go to any classes or gym that you could recommend? Then hopefully bump into him at ?

m00rfarm · 12/01/2024 20:10

Lend him a book.

Doggymummar · 12/01/2024 20:11

Can you go do the sport he is there to perfect?so if he is a swimmer go to the pool they use etc

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SmileyClare · 12/01/2024 20:11

Agree with others- leave the ball in his court.

Sorry to sound so straight laced but ”Making him fancy” you in 5 days sounds like you plan to flirt while working (there’s no other way I know of!) even subtly it’s overstepping really.

The problem with bending the rules is that if it doesn’t work out with him, you’ll fall for another client you’re treating at some point. You’ve blurred the lines once so may do again.

I think there needs to be a clear boundary in your head.

Sorry 😬

Original poster
Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:18

AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 12/01/2024 20:08

Do you go to any classes or gym that you could recommend? Then hopefully bump into him at ?

We live about an hour away from each other and so if I were to go to any classes or gym near him then it might look a bit stalkerish!

And he probably wouldn’t recommend anything in his area knowing that I don’t live there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:20

SmileyClare · 12/01/2024 20:11

Agree with others- leave the ball in his court.

Sorry to sound so straight laced but ”Making him fancy” you in 5 days sounds like you plan to flirt while working (there’s no other way I know of!) even subtly it’s overstepping really.

The problem with bending the rules is that if it doesn’t work out with him, you’ll fall for another client you’re treating at some point. You’ve blurred the lines once so may do again.

I think there needs to be a clear boundary in your head.

Sorry 😬

No I appreciate the honesty.

This is the issue I’m having, that I have no intention of doing anything whilst he’s here and I’d wait for him to leave but I can’t think of any way for him to get the hint before that, that wouldn’t be seen as inappropriate.

OP posts:
Bertiesmum3 · 12/01/2024 20:21

Surely if he’s interested he could turn up at your work one day as he knows what time you start and finish?

PinotBlanc · 12/01/2024 20:28

Sorry op , but I think you already know you shouldn’t get involved with him .

SleepingStandingUp · 12/01/2024 20:31

Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:04

This is what I was thinking but I don’t do any of these things lol and it would mean thinking of something to do and then doing them alone and waiting to see if he ever turns up, which seems a bit sad 🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

Honestly I think this is the only option.
Tell him you're going to get a new book out and go to your favourite coffee shop Saturday to read it. That gives him an in to ask where it is. You say Starbucks on Blodworth High Street, but you like to get there at 10 to avoid the rush.
You use up one morning. Take your book. Go to Blodworth Starbucks and see if he appears.
If he doesn't, you tried. If he does, well you'll have to decide what to do.
Having a coffee in a coffee shop alone is hardly revolutionary. Of he doesn't appear no one will pellet you with cow dung.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/01/2024 20:32

If the universe wants him for you, you'll see him again.

In other news, don't shit where you eat.

izzygirlis4 · 12/01/2024 20:34

Can you find him on social media. You have his name stalk him on there

78Summer · 12/01/2024 20:35

Tell him you do private fitness classes and give him a business card.

MeinKraft · 12/01/2024 20:36

Why can't you just say, oh add me on Facebook I want to see if you ever perfect your putting skills or whatever it is

UsernameChangerRanger · 12/01/2024 20:37

Healthcare role? Walk away and chalk it up to limerance

ChristmasTreeMagic · 12/01/2024 20:37

But you do do those things OP - you've said that you both read the same books & chat about them. It's not such a stretch to go for a coffee / tea / smoothie or whatever surely?

Original poster
Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:39

Bertiesmum3 · 12/01/2024 20:21

Surely if he’s interested he could turn up at your work one day as he knows what time you start and finish?

I guess I’ll have to leave it in his hands and see if he does something like this, although I wouldn’t do this personally as I’d be concerned the other person thought it was inappropriate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:41

MeinKraft · 12/01/2024 20:36

Why can't you just say, oh add me on Facebook I want to see if you ever perfect your putting skills or whatever it is

It’s part of the rules that we can’t add them on SM.

I have more to lose than him but I am hoping that he’ll find me and private message me.

Although I am not very active on SM and I’m only on Instagram which I’m not sure shows my full name.

I may have to set up a basic Facebook account and see what happens.

OP posts:
lilyfire · 12/01/2024 20:42

Yes as PP says - lend him a book. Create a stamp with your phone number/email address on to go in the book. He’ll either think you’re very odd or he’ll take the hint.

HRTQueen · 12/01/2024 20:44

Leave it be you are in a supportive role

it will be less frowned upon means it’s not ok

ffs get a grip and act professionally

Original poster
Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:45

SleepingStandingUp · 12/01/2024 20:31

Honestly I think this is the only option.
Tell him you're going to get a new book out and go to your favourite coffee shop Saturday to read it. That gives him an in to ask where it is. You say Starbucks on Blodworth High Street, but you like to get there at 10 to avoid the rush.
You use up one morning. Take your book. Go to Blodworth Starbucks and see if he appears.
If he doesn't, you tried. If he does, well you'll have to decide what to do.
Having a coffee in a coffee shop alone is hardly revolutionary. Of he doesn't appear no one will pellet you with cow dung.

Show quote history

I guess I could find somewhere in between us both and say that I go there and when and like you say if he doesn’t turn up then there’s no harm done.

He told me he goes to a certain place every week because his friend owns it but it’s in his area and I feel it would be odd to just turn up when he knows I know he’s going to be there.

He could have been telling me because he’s just being friendly or he could have been hinting (but that might be me trying to reach lol).

OP posts:
shivermetimbers77 · 12/01/2024 20:48

Can you lend him a book or something which accidentally on purpose has your name and email address/number in it or something?

NewbieSM · 12/01/2024 20:50

Yeah it's a no from me. Sounds far too risky to be getting involved with a client, as you said, you have more to lose than him. I think men are generally simple creatures and if you have to try and guess whether they fancy you, or come up with strategies to get them to like you then they probably don't, sorry.

Please don't come up with random ways to meet up with him or get his number it comes across as a bit desperate tbh. Find someone else.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 12/01/2024 20:51

Workdate · 12/01/2024 20:45

I guess I could find somewhere in between us both and say that I go there and when and like you say if he doesn’t turn up then there’s no harm done.

He told me he goes to a certain place every week because his friend owns it but it’s in his area and I feel it would be odd to just turn up when he knows I know he’s going to be there.

He could have been telling me because he’s just being friendly or he could have been hinting (but that might be me trying to reach lol).

Show quote history

It sounds like he perhaps feels the same? I'd maybe leave it a week or two, then go to the place he told you he goes...

Meowandthen · 12/01/2024 20:52

Against the rules? A disciplinary offence? Sackable?

Is that worth it to get your leg over?

SmileyClare · 12/01/2024 20:59

I’d say Tread carefully.

“Patient/Care-professional” relationships aren’t unheard of even though it’s discouraged. I know a nurse who dated a trauma patient she met on her ward.

However it sounds as though your company are very hot on this rule and enforcing it.

He may talk to his mates who use your services, your company can check your SM inc FB.. it may well come out, and you’ll find yourself hauled up for a disciplinary.

What are the guidelines on meeting with discharged clients?
is he likely to return as a patient (assuming you’re treating sports injuries or similar)?