DRY HARD 2: DRY HARDER! Dry January 2024, Thread#2 🧃🧋

[HPLikecraft]

Thread#2...

Let's keep going!

I stayed AF last night. DP was out so wasn’t pushing wine on me. I went to the local cafe / bistro place on my own, but very early evening (before 6), carefully studied the drinks menu, but wasn’t tempted because a) I would have looked like a sad old drunk at that time of day and b) I didn’t fancy anything anyway.

However I was very conscious that I’d spent quite a bit of time thinking about DJ being finished, how I could have a drink without breaking it, how I could I could find a way to have a drink without it looking or being too bad. My conclusion was that I’ve spent far too much mental energy thinking about drink or worrying about not being able to give it up down the years. And that I’m not on safe territory yet. I was glad that others on here had mentioned six weeks as being a beneficial AF period as I’d given myself that extra goal.

So I got home without drinking. Thought about trying the low alcohol cider I bought a couple of weeks back but decided I couldn’t be bothered. Ended up having a couple of glasses of fever tree ginger beer. Blimey that stuff is peppery.

Woke up in the early hours sadly. So I’m tired today but at least I’m not suffering from being on the wrong side of half a bottle of wine.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain , I'm so sorry about your mum, that must have been awful to witness.

That quote struck a chord with me too. I remember coming into work to be told that a colleague had died in the night. I'd suspected she had a drinking problem having socialised with her and from her confessing to a bottle a night habit at home, but it never affected her work. She was only 46.

I consider myself fortunate in that, while I'm mentally drawn to alcohol, my body is a total lightweight, and I haven't managed to drink a whole bottle of wine for at least two decades, or even wanted to, as I know I'd get an awful hangover. I will be taking it easy when I start drinking again.

Take care of yourselves, anyone who is suffering today. Drink plenty of water and herbal teas.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain , I'm so sorry about your mum, that must have been awful to witness

Thanks. She was drinking a lot when I lived at home, but then she emigrated to Oz which was when the drinking got really bad, esp after her DM died and she had no purpose to life. There were times when I was utterly relieved that she was 10k miles away, and I'm not going to pretend there weren't; largely because I knew if I'd been on the spot I'd have been the one expected to deal with it.

DM was a salutary lesson on what I'd be like if I hadn't knocked my bottle a night habit on the head, though.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain my mum was a functioning alcoholic too, she died of a brain haemorrhage when she was in her late 50s. I actually had a dream about her the other night the first I've had since she died - she was drunk and passed out in the dream and surrounded by well the typical level of tidiness you'd expect of an alcoholics house.

I had a drink yesterday. I just thought fuck it January is over, I'll have one and see. I had a bottle of stollen rum left over from Christmas and Jesus Christ it was disgusting! I drank half and poured the other half down the sink. I didn't enjoy the sensation of drinking either. The rest of the bottle is getting poured out today and into recycling. Now having said that I might buy one of those small bottles of wine to have next weekend as it was never my intention to be totally tee total, but I don't know, I'll think about it.

I'm actually glad I had a drink, it's made it less of a big deal in my head like I've been worrying about what will happen after DJ and how I'll move forward

@MeinKraft Your last para sums me up 100%. Would I be bothered about it? well, I had a couple of drinks Friday and Saturday and the answer is no. I can't say I'm going completely dry - I like a decent glass of wine - but I've flicked that switch in my head and the - what I can only describe as the need - isn't there.

Is it 30 days needed to establish a new habit and make it stick? perhaps that's what I've done.

I tried out a bit of moderation drinking this weekend. Two glasses of white wine on Friday evening and two last night. I enjoyed them but definitely noticed the dehydrated-sleepy-eyed feeling the mornings after! I will probably have a glass this evening but then plan to be AF for four days Monday-Thursday. Let's see how that goes.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain I'm sorry to hear about your mum and hope I didn't upset you with it.

I saw my ex when my cat was put to sleep (only seen in twice in the last 18 months). He looks like absolute shit warmed up - morbidly obsese (he's put on 6 stone in the 2 years since we split), hypertensive, unshaven, chipped tooth, red in the face, sweating, hands shaking, unsteady on his feet, and with chronic respiratory issues as a result of fatty build up around the heart and lungs.

I honestly don't give him any more than 5 years. Looking at photos of when we met (fit, chiselled, bright-eyed, handsome), it is heartbreaking to see how far he has truly destroyed himself through alcohol - and how far that quote with pinpoint precision now well and truly applies.

Successfully completed dry Jan & DH & I have agreed to keep it going for a bit longer into Feb. Went away with a friend to a spa for the weekend which I had given myself a pass for. We are normally big drinkers together but she had been doing dry Jan too & we were both not too fussed. We did end up drinking 2 bottles of wine last night & whilst we had lots of fun, I slept terribly & have been feeling very down today.
it has made me realise how much an effect alcohol has on my mind & I don’t think it’s actually worth it. My plan is to continue on dry for Feb & maybe I will only now drink on social occasions rather than just when I’m sitting on the sofa at home.

I think I'll be keeping this username for ever. Had the girls round on Friday night to celebrate the end of DJ and got a bit carried away. I clearly have no tolerance after a month off and spent yesterday absolutely hanging.

I'm intending to stay off the sauce for the foreseeable, I love waking up with a clear head.

Still dry and feeling good about it, I was driving tonight so wasn’t even tempted, I just knew I couldn’t. I’m hoping to get through this week AF too, let’s see…

Still dry over here too, but I'm finding I'm thinking more about drinking now that DJ is over and it's an option again. I've set a target of moderation, but would also really like to stay off completely for a bit longer. Family birthday this week, so that will be the test. I maybe need to do as MeinKraft did and have one just to get it out of the way.

Hope everyone has a good week. I've got loads on at work, so it's good continuing to wake up clear headed.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain I'm sorry to hear about your mum and hope I didn't upset you with it

Not at all. It was the sort of thing I wish she could have read and realised the effect she was having on our lives - except she wouldn't have read it, of course. I'm pretty sure she'd have denied she was an alcoholic.

Yeah I still don't regret it. I'm not tempted at all now to drink this week but as I say I think I might buy one of those mini bottles for the weekend. If I can stick to one or two of those of a week I'll be 100%. I can't imagine going back to drink a full bottle of wine a night as standard!

Isn't it amazing how far you can come in a month when you think about it. Might try giving up sugar for lent!

I also found it helpful to drink some wine over the weekend. It was nowhere near what I was drinking (over Christmas easily a bottle a day, if not more), but whilst I enjoyed the wine, it also made me realise how much more I enjoy my mornings and daytimes if I haven't had alcohol the night before. I feel quite dehydrated again today and more anxious.

I am now actively looking forward to being AF this week which for me is a huge shift in attitude!

Have a good week everyone, whether you're remaining completely AF or starting to reintroduce some alcoholic drinks.

My offering for today - the bits about hyperarousal and making conscious choices NOT to reach that state by end of day really struck a chord with me...

This time with link:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/05/dry-day-x-quit-like-a-woman-final/

Thanks @wellitywellness , HW certainly 'threw the kitchen sink at it'!! As you say, a lot of it is quite new-agey, but I can vouch for the power of ASMR. If you can find things that trigger that response, it has a fantastically calming / tingly effect. For me it can be a sound (percussive improvised music works for me), or something visual - I once fell into a trance watching someone on a train reading braille for over an hour - nearly missed my stop!

Had a 0.0% Guinness last night and enjoyed it much more than the first one as I have learned how to pour it correctly (one smooth action, no tilting the glass).

Still not craving wine. Grateful to those of you taking one for the team and reporting hangovers due to reduced tolerance, as this is keeping me dry! 😉.

Have ordered some Ghost Ship 0.5% from Sainsburys. It's not zero alcohol, so not sure whether it's cheating. I know it's the same as a ripe banana, but my perfectionist streak may prevent me from trying it just yet.

Hellloooo! Great to see the thread still lively..

DP and me had our first alcohol since 31st December on Saturday night. We finished off 2 bottles of prosecco between us. He drank lots of water as well during the evening whereas I didn't.
I felt rubbish all day Sunday....fuzzy head, a bit nauseous and low level anxiety all day. It was really horrible, and I didn't even enjoy the alcohol that much as, for unrelated reasons, I wasn't in the best mood on Saturday and if anything drinking made that worse rather than better.

So the long-awaited fizz fest was something of a disappointment, and has left me in no doubt that excessive drinking is not something that i enjoy or can tolerate any more.

My next drink will probably be on Friday. I'm planning one sociable glass of wine in a nice bar as part of a celebration with my daughter and that will be it for the weekend. We've got other things planned which don't involve drinking.

Still figuring out my future plan. I want to be able to enjoy having a drink. Last weekend wasn't enjoyable. I have to figure out what moderation is for me, but I'm finding that harder to do than DJ.

I'm finding it interesting how many of us are preferring being alcohol free. I had 3 glasses of wine on Sunday afternoon- one in the pub and two at my parents (probably equivalent to half a bottle). I kind of enjoyed, then felt it was habitual. I wanted to carry on drinking, but I resisted. Slept a lot worse and felt more anxious. I just don't think it's worth it for not very good pinot!!

It's a shame my posts are still going to be highlighted, so I'll just have to slink in with my head lowered, eyes lowered and cheeks burning with shame.
I've broken my spell.
Several difficult things culminated into a peak of aargh! so I caved. Half a bottle of Cava. Was bloody delicious.
I know I'll be mostly dry from here on in, but haven't managed my dry February. Bugger. Well, I wasn't the OP of that (in my feeble defence).

Slinks back out.

Sorry, should have said...

It's great to see how many of you are carrying on with the dryness, even through difficult times. This has been the busiest DF continuation thread in the past few years.

Well done, everyone.!

I am absolutely NOT preferring it. I am challenging myself to do it, and yes there are benefits, but liking it...? Hell no.

@HPLikecraft you've been amazing on this thread and if you enjoyed a delicious drink or two of cava, that is ok!

staved off the mealtime twitch with some fever tree tonic.

It’s really tedious how the smell of food cooking makes think about drink.