DRY HARD 2: DRY HARDER! Dry January 2024, Thread#2 🧃🧋

[HPLikecraft]

Thread#2...

Let's keep going!

Well, had two beers last night and didn't really enjoy them as much as I thought I would - and while I was doing DJ the prices have soared. I stood in Waitrose going 'HOW much for 500ml???'

So sitting here wondering if I'll even bother with a drink tonight. Maybe a mojito can will do me.

Yup. Large glass of nice wine in our local occasional-meal-out place has gone up 40%. That’s enough to keep me AF right there.

Anxious day yesterday for various reasons, but a walk and a couple of Goodrays helped, followed by a good night's sleep. I wasn't tempted to drink wine, and I'm realising that I never really believed that alcohol helps with anxiety as such (I have meds for that if it gets bad). It's more about routines and habits providing some stability and reassurance, and now I've made a change, that link is broken. For the future I might make a new rule only to drink when I'm feeling OK (as well as having set AF days).

Well done everyone who is keeping going, and to those savouring a nice chilled glass or two, you deserve it after a month off - enjoy!

@HPLikecraft , I've designed some Pax wardrobes for my new place, so if you could pick those up for me that would be great 😃

Well, I woke up with a dry mouth and a slight headache after about 2/3 of a bottle of red.
Dry day today as I'm driving tonight.
We had to have one of our cats' PTS this morning 😔🥲 and again, wine would have been my comfort, but not today.

So sorry to hear about your cat @gingercat02 ❤️❤️❤️

I drank a bottle of dry white wine last night whilst cooking / eating dinner - don't feel too bad this morning but can definitely tell I had a drink last night, I haven't missed this feeling.

Also re-proved to myself that I can't open a bottle without finishing it, so moderation for me will have to be in the form of fewer nights drinking rather than what I drink on them!

Or only buy half bottles for in the house?

There’s a smaller selection and the price per cl is higher of course, but it might be worth a try.

I had a phase of searching out half bottles if I was in the shops. But DP kept buying full bottles, so I gave up on the half bottle attempts in the end.

Sorry to hear about your cat @gingercat02 - still very much missing mine...

This is me for today - some musings on recovery modalities, and I know which I'd prefer personally!

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/03/dry-day-x-quit-like-a-woman-again/

@Submariner getting to the point where your stress response doesn't involve alcohol is a great moment, well done!
@gingercat02 so sorry about your dear cat. Be nice to yourself.

To support each other in our alcohol moderation goals, dh and I have agreed our new rules for alcohol in 2024.

Last night I opened a very lovely bottle of New Zealand Pinot Noir from Central Otago and very much savoured 2 small glasses. Slept well and today we will probably pop down to our local for a pint of ale. All within our plan to moderate - feels good to be in control - let's hope we can maintain it.

@gingercat02 , so sorry for the loss of your cat.

Regarding the bottle size issue, I know wine boxes get a bad rap for encouraging people to drink more, but when I tried it I found the opposite. You can set yourself a limit of a number of glasses, and there's no unfinished bottle to tempt you, plus you never have the excuse of it going off! The only issue is that there is less of a selection.

I've just ordered a set of stainless steel wine measures from Amazon so I can keep a more accurate track of my units in future. I'm not a fan of marked glasses - takes all the sophistication out of it!

@wellitywellness , I would share your reservations about AA etc. I've heard of people with coke habits who never had a problem with alcohol being forced to go TT because they are labelled an addict and incurable, whatever led them down that particular path. But, as Jason Vale points out, the fact is that the method has saved a lot of lives. For most though, I've said before that it may be the case that people supporting each other at AA meetings makes the difference, not so much the method itself.

@wellitywellness The "sort your shit out" podcast is great - thank you for the recommendation.

That's a good point about boxes @Neptunium93. I hadn't really thought of that, but I do subconsciously- or deliberately think about finishing a bottle of wine!

@Neptunium93 and @HollyGolightly4 .. - surely boxes would be even worse, if you can’t stop at two glasses of wine from a bottle I think it would be equally difficult to stop at two glasses from a box, maybe even harder as there’s more in there?

Id go the opposite way, buy some 250ml bottles and then you can have the whole thing!

I find if the bottle is put of sight/reach, you top up less quickly. I often leave it in the kitchen rather than bringing it into the living room. That slows me down a bit.
Anyway, back from my airport trip so I'm off to bed to read for a bit.
Strength to all of you, and thank you for the kind words 🥰

@ParsnipAndPoppy , I was just thinking that if it's the sight of an unfinished bottle that is the trigger, a box may be easier to resist. With a box you can't see the contents so there's no visual cue.

Went for a walk this evening then had a couple of AF beers, which went down very nicely and had a definite relaxing effect. I think that's down to the hops, which contain a sedative apparently. It probably wouldn't be as noticeable with a standard beer due to the alcohol masking it. On the herbal tea now and heading to bed with a crossword. I wish there was such a thing as a vegan sugar-free Horlicks - you can get one or the other but not both!

I don't actually know @ParsnipAndPoppy but I do think sometimes seeing a bottle past a certain point makes me go 'its not worth keeping ' (and I drink, instead of getting rid!) Whereas a box might keep better. On the other hand, there is also more of it!

Alcohol free yesterday...M+S fizzero is lovely. It probably tastes like a posh fizzy apple juice rather than prosecco, but I really enjoyed it! I don't think I've seen it mentioned on here.

Weighing into the finishing bottle debate - last night I was faced with the dilemma - after I poured my last (measured) glass out of a very lovely bottle of wine I was left with probably 30ml in the bottle, I kept worrying that I'd be weak and go and finish the bottle when I had emptied my glass.
I decided not to empty my glass, I left a half-finished glass of wine beside me and whilst the glass was half full or empty if you want to get pessimistic about it - I stopped worrying about that unfinished bottle, I didn't finish the glass or the bottle. We'll freeze the leftovers today and cook with it. I am not a wine bin! (I keep saying). I think I am going to try the unfinished glass thing again - there is something quite comforting and reassuring about your glass not being empty...or maybe it's just me!😁

Boxes work better for me than bottles. The more access to it the less I desire it and don't worry about whether I have enough.

I also like it that I can pour small glasses without thinking will I be left with a tiny bit at the bottom of the bottle. I also don't feel like I need to match glass for glass with DH.

Essentially it's all in my head which tells me I need to work on my thought processes more.

Still reading, still AF. How is everyone doing on their February plans?
Had my first AF alternative drink since the start of DJ last night - fizzy Italian AF 'Prosecco style'. Was OK but no desire to guzzle the bottle. Also, thankfully, no urge to move on to the 'full fat' wine which we have in the house.
Can't say I've lost any weight, skin seems OK though. Sleep is not quite so deep but putting that down to a head cold, also some quite vivid dreams.
Happy Sunday.

@pollyannaperspective
I have set my Try Dry app for 4 AF days a week for February, but I would really like to do 5, but I'm not setting myself up to fail.
Only drank on Friday (rugby) so far. I didn't have a whole bottle either, which is good
I would love to get to a place where I just drink when I feel like it or if I'm out rather than because it's the weekend, and therefore I can, think I'm a long way from that.

Still reading, still AF here too! Speaking of reading, here's my blog post for today:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/02/04/dry-day-35-yet-more-words-of-wisdom/

Completed dry January 🎉 but ….

went for a meal on Friday, had the best part of a bottle of wine, was sick when I got home and felt awful all day Saturday. My own fault for overdoing it after a months abstinence 😂

Lesson learned - moderation is key and will be going forward with this in mind.

@asleepattheshop , that's so true about the effect of an unfinished glass - I do that too.

@pollyannaperspective , February is going to plan so far - i.e. staying dry till 15th, then a maximum 4 days a week drinking (2-4 units per night). I'm wondering what happens on the Try Dry app if you don't achieve your goal... hopefully some sort of punishment to keep me on the straight and narrow!

I caved and had a couple of drinks last night, but was lying in bed this morning thinking, actually I'm not that bothered and seem to have lost the taste for it. Generally I don't drink during the week anyway, unless I treat myself to a pub lunch, so I'll see what happens next weekend. The thought of a whole bottle of wine is mind boggling right now.

Thanks for sharing experiences. Interesting how abstinence seems to reset tolerance. Sorry those who put it to the test maybe found the morning after difficult. Hope you are feeling better.
I haven't used the TryDry App, so curious about how it marks not meeting goals and Neptunium93's idea of a punishment!

By the end of my time in rehab, the people who fascinated me the most were the straight alcoholics. The drunks. The boozers. The men and women who didn’t shoot, smoke, eat, or snort drugs, and who possibly never had. The ones who woke in the morning at four a.m. to take a shot of whiskey from a bottle in the hall closet simply to kill the shakes and sleep again, only to shuffle to the shower at eight a.m. after a quick swig of vodka (because it’s “odourless”) and make it to work red-faced and sweaty, to sit in a cubicle or run a business or sell a car, to run across the street and have another shot at lunch, to smoke hasty cigarettes behind the garage, to scream at their kids and beat their husbands and wives, to swear tomorrow they will quit, to carry on for ten or twenty or thirty years. And end up here, in group […] mumbling, “Oh, I never did any of the crazy things you all are talking about. I just drank.” At night, I’d wonder if they were perhaps the sickest people in the room, people who would die under the radar of “functioning alcoholism,” lacking the flash to get noticed, failing to pose sufficient threat to society to get locked up, dying by a rope in a closet one day, or a car smashed into a tree, or down the road in the ER after liver failure, or old, tired, and miserable, in the park with a bag. Shuffling down the sidewalk, still sure they aren’t that sick.’

That was my DM; except she didn't wake up and take a shot of booze as far as I know. She started drinking early in the evening and as you say 'just drank.' I winced when I saw posters talking about getting wine boxes, because that was what she did - it wasn't as obvious as getting a couple of bottles a night and it meant there was always wine in the house. How the hell she never killed anyone driving while drunk I'll never know - she used to phone me sometimes, absolutely incoherent and swearing she wasn't drunk, and I'd listen and tell her to go to bed, and when I'd put the phone down, pray as hard as I could that she hadn't got in the car and gone looking for another drink.

Weirdly I never, ever recall her being hungover, complaining of feeling hungover or being ill from alcohol and I never recall her smelling of it. Physiologically she was a mystery in her reaction to it.

Sorry. Bit of an unload there.