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Original poster

I slept with my boss

243 replies

Waffflewaffle · 09/01/2024 19:17

No judgment please, I know that I have massively fucked up here and I feel awful.
We had a company event with overnight stay, several of us stayed up late and we ended up sleeping together. I accept that this is my own fault and probably serves me right, but I have been feeling really anxious since this morning. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to drive myself insane with worry but I’m so worried that I might have completely messed up my career now. I haven’t been in the job for long and just passed my probation and I love my work and the company, and I know that this will look absolutely unprofessional if anyone finds out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it but he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning. The others in my team could tell that something was off with me but thought I was just hungover, but I’m going insane thinking that someone might have seen something.
Am I driving myself insane here, or could this really impact my career? I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do :(

OP posts:
CreationNat1on · 09/01/2024 19:19

Forget about it, he has

PamelaParis · 09/01/2024 19:21

This is what you do though, otherwise you wouldn't have done it.

Chesterdoodle · 09/01/2024 19:21

I'd say he messed up more than you! maybe have a quiet word so you can both move on

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 09/01/2024 19:21

Need more info - are either of you married? Or in relationships?

Nowanextraone · 09/01/2024 19:22

I'd only worry about it if either of you are with other people

Cyclingagain · 09/01/2024 19:23

CreationNat1on · 09/01/2024 19:19

Forget about it, he has

This.

This is probably quite a regular pattern of behaviour from him with female staff, particularly new staff.

Do you think he is angsting? No.

Just forget it and get back to your day job. Like he is.

MummyJ36 · 09/01/2024 19:23

If you’re both single then I think you can put it behind you. I do agree this would look way worse for him than it would do for you if anyone found out! If one of you is married or in a relationship then it’s definitely more awkward…

Cyclingagain · 09/01/2024 19:25

If one of you is married or in a relationship then it’s definitely more awkward

Its not more awkward though really, is it?

Just leave it in the past and move on.

CharmedCult · 09/01/2024 19:25

he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning

He's done this before.

Forget about it, he already has.

Original poster
Waffflewaffle · 09/01/2024 19:28

I’m not in a relationship and he’s never mentioned a partner.
Ok thank you, maybe I am overthinking it

OP posts:
Naptrappedmummy · 09/01/2024 19:30

Forget and move on. Don’t go to anything again where you could end up drunk and alone together. Actively avoid that situation.

Whataretheodds · 09/01/2024 19:31

CharmedCult · 09/01/2024 19:25

he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning

He's done this before.

Forget about it, he already has.

Agree. If he were to make an issue of it that would be sexual harassment.

ZenNudist · 09/01/2024 19:32

I'm going to hazard a guess that you are young.

Act like nothing ever happened.

Princessfuckingpeach · 09/01/2024 19:48

I've shagged a few, I think I like a bit of authority in my sex life.
Not at the same time, BTW.
Anyway providing he's single it's not a problem.
Did you have fun?

CrabbyMommy · 09/01/2024 19:51

He absolutely has done this many times.
You are the type, you have literally done it!
Brazen it out like he is. Technically he has more to worry about.

JaninaDuszejko · 09/01/2024 19:58
  1. Don't drink at work social events ever again
  2. Check your work policy on relationships, at my work we have to declare any relationship and are not allowed to be managed by someone we have a relationship with. 'Relationship' is very loosely defined so e.g. it's normal to not interview someone you are friends with outside work. How big is your work? If you have a good HR dept it might possibly be a good idea to speak to someone there and say 'this happened, it was consensual but since I'm a young female relatively new employee I thought it might be sensible to register this'. Or maybe a female manager you trust to not gossip.
  3. I'd start looking to move depts or company. And don't sleep with your boss again.
Naptrappedmummy · 09/01/2024 19:59

If you have a good HR dept it might possibly be a good idea to speak to someone there and say 'this happened, it was consensual but since I'm a young female relatively new employee I thought it might be sensible to register this'. Or maybe a female manager you trust to not gossip

Do not do this!

Naptrappedmummy · 09/01/2024 19:59

also register it where?! Do they have a database of employee sexual activity?!

yogpot · 09/01/2024 20:01

Do not go to HR. That is truly batshit advice.

Ignore it, like he is, and don’t beat yourself up as you’re both single. This falls under ‘quite daft’ rather than ‘life ending mistake’ in the scheme of things.

RampantIvy · 09/01/2024 20:03

I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do

So don't tell anyone and put it behind you.

Don't do it again.

3sausagedogs · 09/01/2024 20:04

its done move on. I’ll bet you’re not the only one in the office he’s slept with. Don’t mention it to him as he clearly wants to act like it didn’t happen. Don’t go on anymore work dos! He will either try it again with you and think you’re easy or he’ll do it with someone else in front of you

ReadyForSeason · 09/01/2024 20:05

Was he any good?

nc321152 · 09/01/2024 20:05

It does sound like he's done it before, which makes me think he's probably a bit of a creep and you might want to try and avoid shagging him again. However, as the senior person I'd expect the consequences to be worse for him if it did come to light.

Ohmylovejune · 09/01/2024 20:05

In my first job we had a boss like this. Over the years he had slept with many of the female staff members. He had a way of softly breaking through professional boundaries and if you didn't allow him to he very quickly backed off .....but he then moved onto the next! You could literally see him doing it!

Just leave it and learn.

Olika · 09/01/2024 20:07

Don't stress about it. It happened, hopefully you had fun. Just pretend it didn't happen. Don't mention it.

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