I slept with my boss

[Waffflewaffle]

No judgment please, I know that I have massively fucked up here and I feel awful.
We had a company event with overnight stay, several of us stayed up late and we ended up sleeping together. I accept that this is my own fault and probably serves me right, but I have been feeling really anxious since this morning. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to drive myself insane with worry but I’m so worried that I might have completely messed up my career now. I haven’t been in the job for long and just passed my probation and I love my work and the company, and I know that this will look absolutely unprofessional if anyone finds out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it but he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning. The others in my team could tell that something was off with me but thought I was just hungover, but I’m going insane thinking that someone might have seen something.
Am I driving myself insane here, or could this really impact my career? I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do :(

It clearly is what you do
You have been in your first job 3/6 months and you have slept with your boss, most women can go their entire careers without doing this

Fucking hell

So bitchy

I get how you must feel. I remember a few years ago now I worked for a big company and my closest friend worked with me we went on a work party. She ended up going with another work colleague that night and lots of people saw them together put two and two together ( I tried to talk her out of it she was so drunk) anyway to make matters worse he acted like a teenager and told all the lads, she then felt so uncomfortable in work I felt so sorry. Then someone outside the office door was talking about it when I walked by a day or so after word really got round because of him and you know what she ended up leaving, he ended up getting promoted ps he was engaged at that time. I remember saying to her do men enjoy sex and is that ok she agreed yes, I said do women enjoy sex and is that ok she agreed. . I do think there's still that bit of stigma for women unfortunately but I say go you if you enjoyed it your both free to have and enjoy sex. Problem for my friend was he was not free but I don't think she was aware until some time later. Let it go he won't be wanting to share his private life with the office as the boss just act like nothing has changed x

Thanks for the laugh!😂

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast

Not bitchy, it’s fact, it was very unprofessional behaviour on both sides, the majority of professional women would never do this and she hasn’t even been in the company that long, what is OP looking for… a clap on the back? It is no surprise she is anxious, anyone would be after doing that and that is one of the reasons why people don’t do it

You enjoyed it, he enjoyed it and you're both consenting adults. There's no problem here unless you make one.
Just chill and carry on as normal 😊

Don't worry about it OP. x

I did similar when very young and stupid. My lessons learned:

1.People will know. Or at least someone will suspect, and they'll tell everyone else. Any advancement, opportunity etc in future, they will assume you did not earn on merit.

2.It will get awkward AF. Assuming this guy is going to be in control of your performance reviews, bonuses, promotion opportunities etc.

I would make a sideways move, out of his line of sight, ASAP. Get him to make it happen, if you have to.

Style it out. It happened, it won’t happen again (unless you both want it to I guess). Ignore the bitchy replies, ffs you already feel bad enough, that’s enough ‘punishment’ if you need that I guess (you don’t, you’re a grown ass woman who can own her choices).

Keep your head up, don’t let it affect your work or get messy. In 2 weeks, no one will care. If you still feel awkward, new job. X

😂😂😂😂

The thing is that it's very unlikely you slept together without showing some sign that you were interested in each other, while other people were there. If other staff were looking at you they might have been checking you were okay because they knew what you was like.

This is VERY good advice.

No matter how trustworthy the person you tell appears to be, you never know if its simply too much good gossip for them not to tell others and that is the last thing you want.

You've said you don't want it to impact your career.

I can't imagine my boss standing in front of me with his nob out putting a condom on

I suspect my boss and your boss are very different OP!

It's not a big deal, lots of people shag their boss and survive. Just be breezy, like you haven't given it a second thought.

Why the hell would she report it to HR when it was consensual???

'Work policy on relationships??!'

Mountain/molehill

You’d be mortified that people think you sleep with your boss … when you just have ? Seriously

Dumbbbbbb suggestion. Move on, op! Don’t stress about this.

Don’t say anything! Others might know…
As long as you & Boss are cool, that’s all.

I think you can turn this around.

Just try and act as confident and as professional as you can (I know inside you don't feel like this).

DO NOT ask to have a chat with him about it, as that really could jeopardise your position.

If he sees that you've moved on and the situation has just reset to normal, then he'll probably be really impressed.

And FGS don't tell any of your coworkers.

If you have a good HR dept it might possibly be a good idea to speak to someone there and say 'this happened, it was consensual but since I'm a young female relatively new employee I thought it might be sensible to register this'. Or maybe a female manager you trust to not gossip

⬆️ Terrible advice!! I’m an HR Director. Do not tell me this!! Unless you’re complaining, I don’t want to know. You can’t just “register” that you’ve had a one night stand with your boss 😂 I would need to follow up with the manager (to tell him not to shit on his own doorstep) and probably his manager as a heads up on the risk that you decide to make a formal complaint.

If you enjoyed it and it was consensual… Leave it. Keep your head high. Act like it never happened. He’s got more to lose here than you.

The first time someone does something, it can be considered uncharacteristic. Silly to claim otherwise.

If you have a good HR dept it might possibly be a good idea to speak to someone there and say 'this happened, it was consensual but since I'm a young female relatively new employee I thought it might be sensible to register this'. Or maybe a female manager you trust to not gossip

In 15 years here, this is the worst advice I’ve ever heard. Hilariously, horrifyingly bad.

@Waffflewaffle

You slept 😴 with the boss

Ha ha 😂 you think 🤔 you only speacial one

How many others do think are in literally same position...

Same. We've been together 10+ years now. Can confirm he's a good guy 🤷