I slept with my boss

[Waffflewaffle]

No judgment please, I know that I have massively fucked up here and I feel awful.
We had a company event with overnight stay, several of us stayed up late and we ended up sleeping together. I accept that this is my own fault and probably serves me right, but I have been feeling really anxious since this morning. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to drive myself insane with worry but I’m so worried that I might have completely messed up my career now. I haven’t been in the job for long and just passed my probation and I love my work and the company, and I know that this will look absolutely unprofessional if anyone finds out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it but he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning. The others in my team could tell that something was off with me but thought I was just hungover, but I’m going insane thinking that someone might have seen something.
Am I driving myself insane here, or could this really impact my career? I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do :(

Forget about it. Never tell anyone there if you don’t want people to know. He has more to lose (boss with “power” etc) so if he tells anyone he’s a total idiot.

Move on and chalk it up to a fun memory to look back on one day 😎

At the end of the day it was just a Shag. Some shags are hugely meaningful some are like a nice cup of tea. Do not stress at all. Glad it was good, now move on.

Maybe you will be the girl who marries her boss :)

Why slut?

You had sex. Enjoyed it.

Move on.

Honestly read that as you’d had an orgy with those that stayed up late, so having completely misread that, and having rechecked the title where it says it was only with your boss then it is quite tame in comparison.

It’s awful that women are stressed about sleeping with someone higher up for fear of how it would look on them and impact their career - it is actually pretty poor form of your boss to cross that line and reflect badly on him and his professionalism so perhaps step away from the anxiety (which will be helpfully fuelled by the hangover) and recognise that you are nor wearing a scarlet letter at all.

If anyone did see anything they don’t know you guys had sex (I’m assuming it wasn’t in public..) so practice your poker face on the rare off chance someone did see you and try and forget about it.

(btw I’m totally rooting for an update where he confesses his feelings for you and you two shack up together 😂)

Exactly

Just pretend it never happened

I shagged my boss once. It was brilliant. We were both single. No harm, no foul. Just act like it never happened and you'll be grand.

I don’t think most of them are sticking the boot in, just saying it’s not a big deal to him and the OP should treat it in the same way and stop worrying about it. It’s just a shag.

Don’t worry about it. I’ve done this twice in my past and just went to work as usual. No one got in trouble, no one cared.

Was it any good? Worth repeating?

OP, I agree you should not worry about it so much and try to forget it happened.

But bear in mind that this is not a good guy. A boss should never have sex with someone they manage. As a PP said, there is an inherent power imbalance as the manager can affect so much of your working life and they ought to know that and put boundaries in place. Plus you mention that this is your first proper job, which makes me wonder if he is older than you which can (sometimes) create an even greater power imbalance. It may have been consensual, but that doesn’t make what he did right or ok.

None of you know it’s not a big deal to him either 😂 for all we know he could could be head over heels in love with OP and fantasising about marrying her.

What we do know is he is her boss so regardless of all that, it’s best to just act professionally.

The catty undercurrents are embarrassingly obvious, IMO.

Just act like it never happened and ignore it. He'll be a player and you aren't his first.

I hope it ends like one of my romance books 🤣

'Register it with HR' .....OMG !!!!

Why on earth would anyone do this ?? And imagine the person in HR ' registering' it 🙄!

’Lily and Steve: 7 minutes of intercourse while on the team building night away in Woking. January 2024’

I had two kids by my boss 😯😁

Quick, get on the phone to a divorce lawyer! He is not a good man! 😉

The fact that he had condoms with him suggests he was expecting he might need them. Plus bosses who don’t make a habit of sleeping with young, new employees….don’t sleep with young, new employees. So yes, I think he’s done this before.

No judgment from me OP. Hold your head high, do not ever mention it again to him or anyone else. He’s moved on from it and so should you. But I would really resolve not to do it again, just to protect your own mental health and self esteem.

Don't overthink it. I bet the percentage of people who have shagged their boss is pretty high. I've shagged 2 of my bossed and it never caused a problem at work we just kept it to ourselves & looked forward to the next overnight trip.

Sleeping with someone once is not a relationship! I wouldn't declare this one OP!

2 consenting adults had sex.
Honestly, not a huge deal. Everyone does it! Definitely, definitely do not "log the incident with HR!" Mumsnet advice honestly cracks me up at times!!
It's the hangover making you anxious too.. you'll feel better about it in a day or two! Hope you had fun!

Well done you?

'Think she's easy?' Charming! Sounds like you're projecting your own old fashioned opinion!

Woking 😂