I slept with my boss

[Waffflewaffle]

No judgment please, I know that I have massively fucked up here and I feel awful.
We had a company event with overnight stay, several of us stayed up late and we ended up sleeping together. I accept that this is my own fault and probably serves me right, but I have been feeling really anxious since this morning. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to drive myself insane with worry but I’m so worried that I might have completely messed up my career now. I haven’t been in the job for long and just passed my probation and I love my work and the company, and I know that this will look absolutely unprofessional if anyone finds out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it but he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning. The others in my team could tell that something was off with me but thought I was just hungover, but I’m going insane thinking that someone might have seen something.
Am I driving myself insane here, or could this really impact my career? I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do :(

Humans are programmed to have sex and our inhibitions are down when we're drunk.
As long as you weren't pressured into it, the sex was consensual (and hopefully at least better than 'okay?') then so what. You had sex. You're human.
Try to forget about it.

You're both the blame not just him but your both single just leave it move on.
Dont give it any more thought.

Thank you. I feel less worried but more like a fool now..
He was very good to be fair but I’m afraid that I’ll be mortified in meetings for a while. Own fault I know. Thanks for putting things in perspective for me

Don’t go to HR-they are there to protect the company, not you.

He has moved on and almost certainly has previous form for this behaviour.

Follow his example, forget about it and don’t do it again.

Yes, hot bath and wash it all off.

Glad he was good tho 😉

Check your work policy on relationships, at my work we have to declare any relationship and are not allowed to be managed by someone we have a relationship with. 'Relationship' is very loosely defined so e.g. it's normal to not interview someone you are friends with outside work. How big is your work? If you have a good HR dept it might possibly be a good idea to speak to someone there and say 'this happened, it was consensual but since I'm a young female relatively new employee I thought it might be sensible to register this'. Or maybe a female manager you trust to not gossip

NO NO NO NO NO!!
Do not do any of this appallingly bad advice - written i suspect by someone either in HR who loves any kind of drama or by the office gossip herself.

You'll feel better tomorrow and better again the day after. Hold your nerve and crack on.

Such database should be well protected from viruses…

Just crack on as you would have if it hadn't happened.

Just that.

If you are both single what's the problem. Maybe a bit foolish, but it might be the start of something, do you actually like him?

Did you use protection? @Waffflewaffle
As PPs said he sounds like he has form for this

Exactly. You clearly knew what you were doing so please don’t say it’s not what you normally do.
In the past I have been reasonably bladdered at work events. Never once out myself in the position in that I was shagging my boss though even though a few tried it on. I simply walked away. Literally.

Accept what’s done is done. Get a pregnancy/ STI check and take it from there.

Good luck.

just play it cool 😎 harder to do if you fancy him tho. or was it a drunk decision?

Absolutely don't do this. Just don't get smashed and shag your boss again.

You should own it. Play it cool. Don't worry.

Well it is what you do because you chose to do it

Just move on

Gosh- the mistake is all his if this comes out- sleeping with a junior member of staff would be cause for sacking in many companies.

If you don't feel taken advantage of etc. just take his lead and act like nothing happened and it will be back to normal and forgotten in a day or two.

Taken advantage of? Is this code for not taking responsibility for one's own actions?

Ah,I do fancy him but I also know that realistically nothing will come of it because he won’t fancy me.
He didn’t take advantage because we were both a bit drunk but we knew what we were doing. And yes, he put on a condom in front of me so it was all safe. I just got anxious the next morning because this is my first “real” job and I got scared to lose it. I don’t usually do this though and I don’t want to be seen as a slut, which is what I had meant with my initial comment.

There is an inherent power balance between a boss and an employee. This person has the power to promote you, fire you, decide bonuses, give references, sign off your expenses. It is hugely not ok for a manager to sleep with employees, and the bigger the difference between the seniority in the company and the age of the individuals the more inappropriate it becomes. My first job in the city, 22 alongside another 21 year old assistant I find out she was sleeping with one of the married directors twice her age. It was consensual but I still think he was massively taking advantage of her, yes.

They really won't be.
Consequences are worse for the more junior (more disposable) one.

It's a hard lesson to learn, but sleeping with immediate colleagues is almost invariably a very bad idea (OK, you do get a few genuine relationships that start in the workplace, because of course that's where people spend so much time and meet so many people - but they don't grow from drunken shag with boss)

You need to be on the look out for new roles to move away from him. If this came to light, and people concluded (as they are likely to) that you had unfair advantages because you shagged your boss, much of your career progress could unravel. Better to move on as swiftly as you can

I'd just keep my head down and mouth shut, he probably does it with all the newbies, put it down to experience and move on. Hope you enjoyed it 😁

There’s a lot of posters on here desperate to stick the boot in by saying he does it with everyone. I mean how could you possibly know?

Register it with HR?! I’ve seen some batshit advice in here but..

I’d just forget about it and move on OP. Good that it’s not awkward.

That’s what I was thinking, how could anyone possibly even hazard a guess he’s don’t it before. Simply as he shagged an employee. I mean she shagged her boss. No one is worse than the other here.

Yes, I agree. A lot of unnecessarily bitchy comments.