I slept with my boss

[Waffflewaffle]

No judgment please, I know that I have massively fucked up here and I feel awful.
We had a company event with overnight stay, several of us stayed up late and we ended up sleeping together. I accept that this is my own fault and probably serves me right, but I have been feeling really anxious since this morning. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to drive myself insane with worry but I’m so worried that I might have completely messed up my career now. I haven’t been in the job for long and just passed my probation and I love my work and the company, and I know that this will look absolutely unprofessional if anyone finds out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it but he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning. The others in my team could tell that something was off with me but thought I was just hungover, but I’m going insane thinking that someone might have seen something.
Am I driving myself insane here, or could this really impact my career? I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do :(

I see the “women these days are so puritanical because they don’t think it’s ok for managers to sleep with employees whose careers they have power over” brigade are out in force.

Guess what? It’s perfectly possible to have fun and casual sex with people you don’t manage or don’t manage you. Yes, even those of us who think bosses who sleep with their employees are sleaze bags have casual sex. Sometimes even with colleagues - though crucially at the same level of seniority as us.

Shocking, I know!

@Alternat it so doesn’t work the other way round, sorry.

@Alternat

I think some of us have different views on professionalism to you,

So pure conjecture on your part, then. Certainly the flirting ‘for months’ aspect.

”I do fancy him but I also know that realistically nothing will come of it because he won’t fancy me.“

… is pretty much evidence of no workplace flirting.

Either way: you’re just getting a kick out of giving the OP a hard time.

What she did wasn’t ideal. But it’s done. And the lesson’s been learnt (as I said upthread, the hard way).

We all mistakes. What’s important is to take something from that and move forward.

Have you misunderstood my point? I am saying it is unprofessional for a manger to have sex with their employee. Are you suggesting that it is perfectly professional to do so??

I could be wrong but are you talking from the position of the wife of a senior? Because I can't see why else you'd care.

If I want to shag my boss, he wants to shag me, the like??? We have to ask you as well?😭😭

Obviously if there are favours or people are getting fired that's an issue but simply having private relationships (outside of works hours) is not

Haha re not at the same time and just had to say go you I like to hear strong women who are not ashamed of their sex life 👍 no one else's business anyway.

I have never fancied anyone I have worked for.

I’m not the wife of a senior manager. I am a senior manager. I used to work in employment law and dealt with numerous young women whose bosses took advantage of them and ruined their careers.

That’s the position I’m talking from.

The default position of assuming a women must be the wife of a manager, and not the manager herself…. 🤯

I know, right??

Are you a bit slow? I'm wondering why tf she'd care what consenting adults do, and wondering if she's someone's wife.

You do realise a woman can be a wife and also have a good job right? They're not mutually exclusive?

The misogyny is strong with this one.

You do realise a woman can be a wife and also have a good job right? They're not mutually exclusive?

That was my point… ?

I am such a person.

Thank you. Most of the comments did calm me down and I deffo feel better about going to the office again this morning ❤️

Love us a confident queen 😂

Just put it behind you no pun intended.

Bloody hell OP. That may be an impediment to your future. Don't give your power away so thoughtlessly, put colleagues - especially the senior ones - off limits. Hope you can forget about it. Don't do it again.

We do have a workplace relationships policy. It's for situations where staff will declare they are dating a colleague to ensure we don't inadvertently have an employee line managing their partner for example. It is not for staff to report their casual and consensual sexual encounters! 😬

@ThreeRingCircus very surprised to hear this, especially from someone working in HR! Every place I have worked at has a sexual relationships policy, not a romantic relationship policy. The purpose is to help prevent abuses of power and sexual harassment lawsuits.