I slept with my boss

[Waffflewaffle]

No judgment please, I know that I have massively fucked up here and I feel awful.
We had a company event with overnight stay, several of us stayed up late and we ended up sleeping together. I accept that this is my own fault and probably serves me right, but I have been feeling really anxious since this morning. I know that I sometimes have a tendency to drive myself insane with worry but I’m so worried that I might have completely messed up my career now. I haven’t been in the job for long and just passed my probation and I love my work and the company, and I know that this will look absolutely unprofessional if anyone finds out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it but he seemed as usual and not worried at all this morning. The others in my team could tell that something was off with me but thought I was just hungover, but I’m going insane thinking that someone might have seen something.
Am I driving myself insane here, or could this really impact my career? I’d be mortified if someone thought that this is what I do :(

Do not go to HR. Move on and forget it. If you really can’t deal with it, leave.

Tell nobody. Deny everything if asked. Never ever trust your boss again. A decent boss with a young employee would have been focused on sobering you up, slowing down the drinking or getting you a taxi or heping a female colleague to get you to your room if staying there. But no, your boss's first impulse was to put on a condom and have sex with a very junior and very drunk employee. I would judge him far more harshly than I would judge you. I think your boss is very likely to keep his mouth shut.

It is a cliché but he probably has done this before. I mean he obviously had a condom conveniently to hand - a regular little boy scout there, wasn't he? My own rule is that at work functions I would never have more than 2 glasses of wine and more likely only one. Go to bed early and alone. Do not be one of the last drinking as things can often get out of hand and you just don't want to be involved in any of that. This policy has kept me out of a great deal of trouble and embarassment. Remember, your colleagues are very rarely your friends. You should never consider yourself "off duty" at these things. You've hopefully have leant this lesson very early in your career.

The reason he seems ok is because he probably does it all the time and planned it. He will obviously tell you otherwise.

Don’t tell a soul
Don’t do it again
Learn from it

Don't tell anyone. Especially HR.

Be as cool as a cucumber. Fake it if necessary. He was good? You were probably better. For the sake of your career you don't want him to feel he has any "power" over the situation, nor that you have any sort of shame / embarrassment around it. Two consenting adults fucked, you enjoyed it, it's over, you are professionals. As far as that night should be recorded in your little black book, it was one of equals, and that's how you have to play it at least on the surface. No blushing, giggling, avoiding etc.

People aren’t putting the boot in, they’re making judgements by the OPs account on how he was the morning after, compared to her.

Not sure about power imbalance tbh. Not all bosses decide on pay and bonus’s etc. Few have that level of control.

Ah don’t get infatuated with him OP. He sounds like a veteran at this and you’re prob one of many. That’s what I’d tell myself anyway. Good in bed or not, he’s been unprofessional. I wouldn’t wanna be another notch on his bed post.

He’s got more to lose than you. He’s your boss and in a position of authority over you. He could be in a lot of trouble if this gets out so I’m mot surprised he’s keeping quiet.

I would just forget it and move on op. I doubt anything will come of it unless you tell any of your colleagues and it gets out.

Back when I was in my mid 20s, I slept w/ my boss. We were both single. We didn't tell anyone and our very brief liaison eventually died a quiet, uneventful death. You'll be okay. Just try your best to not let anyone notice. They won't want to let you know they know even if they do know. Pretend nothing happened!

When promotions are at stake or something stressful at work happens, you'll be always wondering if that night had something to do with it.
It's likely that someone has noticed and it seems that your sleazy manager likes to Christen young employees on his dick so colleagues would have seen him go through them and know the signs.
You've been in this job a few months and already climbing the greasy pole 😂
Very promising!

Are you hoping for fast-track promotion?!

don’t give it a second thought your both adults
the only time it would be a problem is if he used his position and authority to coheres you into sleeping with him

sounds like 2 pissed people on a night out had a good time non issue

It was a stupid thing to do, OP, but you've realised that now. Don't do it again. Say nothing about it to anyone and hope he keeps his mouth shut. In future, just a drink or two at work events, then home.

Some nasty comments on this thread ..why do people have to be so mean for no reason?

You're over thinking it.

There's a power dynamic there. If anyones career is in jeopardy it's his, not yours.

Unnecessary. To put it mildly.

Everywhere that I have worked has the guy who tries to shag the new, young female employees at the earliest opportunity. It is something people should be aware of but isn’t part of the careers advice given at school. It doesn’t mean you can’t still have sex with them.

OP - you’re not the first, and you definitely won’t be the last!

Lesson learnt the hard way. Just style it out, and don’t do it again!

Some ridiculous responses to this thread - the number of liaisons, relationships and marriages that emerge from work place dalliances is incalculable. Contrary to what is trying to be portrayed here, by some (married mine; albeit, not my boss).

Don’t worry about it!

I've never worked anywhere like Ggttl describes. I'm also pretty sure that at one workplace which was full of ambitious, young testosterone fueled men they were either simply professional or explicitly told to behave themselves with female colleagues.

This reflects more on him than you OP.

I just figure they have such a lackluster, dull and mundane life, they need to get their "rev ups" somewhere, so innocent people they don't know on MN are their targets. Keyboard assassins, they want to draw blood and hurt to whomever they decide to have open season on.

If the same were to be done to them though, they'd be calling whine-whine-whine (whine-one-one in the USA) and requesting a wwaaahhhh-bulance.

Why does it reflect more on the OP than him? they were consenting adults? no I do not get but this 'she does not know her own mind' if him being a manager means he can force her to have sex against her will then there something seriously wrong?

And this 'power' thing to me is actually quite patronising to women, why does a man have more power over me, and I (and all women) just some little delicarte petal who cant think for herself? doenst say much for a female in the workplace actually

The power thing is why it reflects more on her boss than the OP. It's because he's her boss: he should know better and behave better. That's not patronising to the OP. There's the potential for coercion where one person is in a position of power. Yes, she's an adult, but that doesn't absolve his behaviour. It would be the same whatever the sexes of the two of them.

Ouch! Make yourself a rule OP. One drink only, if that, at work social events. Don't shag any of your colleagues. Its messy and people will snark at you as on this thread, and worse. Good luck.

In HR language, we call it "Can I have the cake and eat it too?".
HR is for the well being of the company. It is more likely to tilt towards boss than towards the junior staff, unless there is compelling evidence of harassment. Can you prove it? If not, forget it as a bad dream and move on. He will never have that level of respect for you any more as before heating his bed. Consider changing the company. Dont ever do it again, at least not with the people you know or work with. Not worth it, even if it was you who couldn't keep her legs together.

It is in no way a fact, it is literally just your opinion. They are two consenting single adults and have done nothing wrong. It doesn't matter if they work together unless there is a part in either contract forbidding it, which is unlikely as OP hasn't mentioned it.

I doubt it. She sounds very naive to me, who is worried about her future, relationship etc. She doesn't sound ambitious like you @Mikimoto. I wonder what sort of play girl you are at your work place to give a revvvvvv start to your career everyday (I mean every night)