How do you get thinner poos?!!

[Egglett]

Just NC'd obviously, but am not the poo troll honest.

I 'struggle' with bigger poos, like 3cm diameter, occasionally bigger. However they are really soft and healthy looking. I am never ever constipated and never push even a tiny bit - they just fall out. But they are aggravating the grade 1 haemorrhoids I got from pregnancy so I'd like them to be thinner to give the haemorrhoids a chance to heal properly.

So what foods can give me thinner poos?! Google only says that insoluble fibre gives you fatter poos, but I don't overeat that really.

In brief, I eat two portions of carbs a day, usually white rice, homemade white bread,.or potato. I eat meat, full fat dairy, nuts, veg, fruit, chocolate and home baking. Copious water and tea. A bottle of wine spread over a weekend.

TIA!

You're thinking along the right lines OP. You need them to be VERY soft for a week or two in order to shrink/heal the haemorrhoid. Take a non stimulant laxative like Milk of Magnesia which is very gentle on your stomach for a couple of weeks. Wash after going to the toilet if you can. Then use suppositories and creams from the pharmacy like anusol with hydrocortisone for a week, continue with the milk of magnesia for a week after that to keep everything very soft.

Honestly going once a day is great and your diet sounds really good. You don't want to be going more often or having even more bulky fibre in the short term. The haemorrhoid is a physical problem now, so it might flare up now and then, but consistently using the stool softner and the hydrocortisone for a couple of weeks should do the trick for now.

Why is everyone offering advice about constipation?

The OP is not constipated.
She has a BM daily without straining. Her motions are normal consistency.

She has haemorrhoids, though. Haemorrhoids become more uncomfortable if motions are frequent. The skin around the anus gets sore and excoriated when people have loose stools.

OP you need to use suppositories from the chemist such as Anusol HC twice daily to relieve the pain, and apply Anusol HC ointment around your anus after a bowel movement.

You don't need to try to change your motions but you do need to treat your haemorrhoids.

This is pretty hilarious.

...Except in practice I know that it isn't. I don't know that there is necessarily a solution to this. Have they always been this size for you? You are not constipated, your bowel is only 'moving' in one go after storing everything up. That's the thing you need to solve. Senna might be your go-to for that, but do a search based on that problem.

If you think 3cm is bad (or even 3 inches), the one I had today was several times that size and the toilet is now blocked. I was sweating for about half an hour and nearly passed out.

I have IBS though (obviously) and luckily it doesn't happen that often. My toilet is grateful, as am I.

Sounds like your poo is fine! Get the piles treated! Ie. Get the cream that goes right up the anus. Should help really quickly. Keep drinking lots.

Cigarettes

I have noticed with my family, too many nuts tend to cause bulkier and firmer poos.

I think posters don't know what the diameter of a circle is. It is the distance across a circle through the centre, so a 3cm diameter is quite large.

I think posters are confusing diameter with circumference.

A really strong espresso might help.

Plus a jug of warmish water poured over the area as you go. Then pat dry and apply cream.

Also - I watched a doctor on Tiktok talk about fibre the other day. He said brown compared to white rice is really negligible in terms of being 'good' for you, and as you're clearly not deficient in fibre I'd continue and just try and get more liquid in your diet.

Just shit through a piping bag and use the nozzle of your choice to get the desired shape

www.lakeland.co.uk/32934/lakeland-icing-bags-caps-and-ties-set

Ah no, poos the size of cigarettes would be about 0.8 cm diameter. Could be a bit ambitious.

I don't know but this thread has made me laugh.

@Egglett (should that read eyelet?). What does your Dr say and how do they recommend the piles are treated? I k ow someone who had theirs cauterised I believe. Must have been 10 years ago and they haven't complained since.

😂

Well my pile is not happy atm but this thread has really cheered me up. CRYING at the poster who confused diameter with circumference! I will get myself some Anusol tomorrow but I'm not sitting on the bog doing pi R squared

Exactly right!
I scoop up Whippet Poo daily, and it is always the same 'bore'
Length may vary, texture too- but always the same diameter, the diameter of her ring piece.
Haven't thought to measure, but once she laid a phenomenally looooooooooong poo that barely fitted into a commercial poo bag, and it's 'back' needed breaking with a stick.

Breaking the back of a whippet poo with a stick, I'm laughing so hard I'm going to wake the DC in a minute 😂

Surely you mean π ''Poo r squared? ''

I would love to know the answer to this, following with interest!

My poos got larger is diameter when pregnant and it's continued post pregnancy. I told the doctor at my post partum checkup and she looked at me like I had two heads, which did nothing to make me feel less embarrassed about it 🙈

@oakleaffy no actually I mean "2 poo R" don't I, poo R squared is area not circumference!

A poo with the girth of a can of coke!!!

Bloody hell you'd need a lie down after that

You must just have a wide colon 😄

Get yourself expressos and drink quickly.

coffee, pear, prune, apricots, grapes

avoid banana, eggs

I hope not! How could you flush that?!

I think people need to revise their maths and learn what a diameter actually is 😂

Hell....You'd need a Midwife to deliver a poo that big.