How do you get thinner poos?!!

[Egglett]

Just NC'd obviously, but am not the poo troll honest.

I 'struggle' with bigger poos, like 3cm diameter, occasionally bigger. However they are really soft and healthy looking. I am never ever constipated and never push even a tiny bit - they just fall out. But they are aggravating the grade 1 haemorrhoids I got from pregnancy so I'd like them to be thinner to give the haemorrhoids a chance to heal properly.

So what foods can give me thinner poos?! Google only says that insoluble fibre gives you fatter poos, but I don't overeat that really.

In brief, I eat two portions of carbs a day, usually white rice, homemade white bread,.or potato. I eat meat, full fat dairy, nuts, veg, fruit, chocolate and home baking. Copious water and tea. A bottle of wine spread over a weekend.

TIA!

OP the white bread won’t be doing you any favours. Do you really eat 8 portions of fruit and veg a day? That’s impressive and should mean no problems pooing! How much do you count as a portion? After birth I found soft dried dates were a godsend, just a handful each morning with my usual oats & yoghurt.

😂😂😂😂😂

Well… softer specimens… I’ll leave it at that in case the freaks descend.

Ahh so is greater frequency what I'm trying to achieve then? I only go once a day usually so I could try to increase frequency. I hadn't thought of that!

8 fruit and veg a day! What! When did they move the goalposts there? It’s 5 isn’t it?!

Somewhere (possibly Japan) it’s 12.

A portion is three decent broccoli florets or 1 banana or two small clementines. I definitely average 8 a day and I'd say I don't have any problems pooing, I actually probably have perfect poo , but it's just I need it to be thinner for a while that's all.
I'll try a few of the suggestions such as prune juice and other ideas, thanks everyone!

Three inches in diameter? That's not something I'd like to tackle.

@ttcat37 I think 5 veg a day was just picked out of thin air because they thought people might have a chance of reaching it! A bit like 10,000 steps - no science behind that specific number - it's just reachable and memorable.

Can you lot stop making me picture an icing piping bag please. Thanks

An icing bag with the star nozzle. That's my haemorrhoids 😁

Surely 5 a day is a target, not a limit?

Some of these comments are really making me giggle thank you, really need it after the day I’ve had.

Nothing useful to add though @Egglett , sorry.

Your anus opens and contracts. Its not like a metal tube that is always the same size. Its small and closed when you are not pooing, and expands and opens when you are.

A bit like your vaginal opening and canal can expand when you give birth. Women don't walk around with a baby's head shaped hole and canal, after all, or we would all be walking like John Wayne the whole time!

Have you never had diarrhoea or Ibs 🤔

Sorry I laughed. Really, I am.

If your bowel movements are already quite healthy (and it sounds like they are) you might be better off treating the haemorrhoids with something.

😂

Laxido might help to make you go more often.

You need to fit a tiny, tiny colander or sieve to your bumhole which will force these monster logs into more manageable proportions

What is with the kitchen equipment analogies?!

Dried apricots are also your friend

just aim to soften your stool
I don't think adding a cushion is going to help the op

You could always use some
of the playdoh attachments if you have them? My son has a wide range of different shapes/ sizes - you could go for a nice thin star shape? Maybe some thinner spaghetti shapes? Just pop the filter on your anus when pooing 👍

I think your measurement is off... 3cm diameter is tiny, far smaller than average. My toddler has laid logs bigger than that.

edit: sorry I'm half asleep I was thinking circumference lol.

How long ago did you have dc? You should really get the haemorrhoids treated properly or they will just get worse.

I do however need to know how you know your poos are 3cm? Have you picked them out & measured them?

I've never measured my poos, but looking at 3cm, yours are definitely thinner than most peoples poos, in which case, you really do need to treat the haemorrhoids instead of trying to thin your poos out.