Replacing direct contact with our young grandson with….any ideas appreciated.

[ArlaRae]

Our ex daughter in law has asked that we no longer contact our young grandson.

We usually send Christmas & birthday presents/cards. We also, as part of a family Christmas tradition send a Christmas/birthday book. If we are on holiday we send postcards. We sometimes send letters.

There isn't a way that we can continue. DiL is not going to pass anything on.

Anyone any ideas to ‘mark’ occasions.
I am concerned that for our grandson contact has stopped suddenly. I wonder what he thinks has happened?

What about when he is a young adult, will he look back and think we abandoned him? Is there anything we can do to assure him that we love him and missed him.

Also why eould you want to give a fake name for your own email. Doesn't make any sense.

@Carpediemmakeitcount the OP prefers to have a relationship with the ex-DIL and chooses not to have one with her own son.

Make of that what you will.

Unless his mother has a good reason to cut you off that you haven’t shared, I’d send her a card once a year. Probably Xmas rather than his birthday. Maybe not even wording that you’d like to resume contact. Just something that shows that you’re obviously open to it. I’d send her a short letter now saying that you know you have to respect her decision but are devastated by it, and so you want her to know that you’d love to resume contact at any time she suggests it - with no questions asked.

I know I’m making stuff up now… but for all you know, husband #2 might be a controlling arsehole who refuses to have his wife in any contact with the family of her ex. If she escapes him in future, don’t make it difficult for her to reach out to you again.

How old is the child ?
And what's the reason you've not seen him for 2 years ?

The op said over finances that could be anything. Every time she calls her son he asks for money or he stole money it could mean anything. She wants a relationship with her grandchild and that comes with her DIL.

You are very rude. I don't believe what you said google operate very tight account checking. Thus isn't about you or actually me. It's about a grandma who wants contact with her grandchild so stop having a pop at me and get on with your life. Leaving this thread now as I don't respond to bullies.

Create a blog. A basic one. Blogger is extremely easy, so you can post pictures, videos, post and your grandson will be able to access it at any time, and even if you are unable to share it with him now, when he is older, he will be able to go back in time. You can even buy him the present, video yourself wrapping it and then store it in the garage.

do not use the post to talk about DIL, it is just to share your love and interest in him.

If I was the mother I would feel that anyone putting any information about my child on the internet without my permission was massively overstepping.

That is not true! I have multiple email accounts in multiple names. You can set them up in whatever available name you like

If you can save all the money you would
have spent and leave it to him in your will, along with all the birthday and Christmas cards you would have sent him, and maybe some photos of his earlier years. leave this as part of your will. He will know you thought of him.

I missed out on positive relationships with my parental grandparents, and I’m quite cross about it now, and quite resentful that no one helped me to foster good relationships with them. I did used to blame them when I was younger, but I certainly don’t now.

Every single user on MN has set up an email account. Thus everyone here should know how to. You don't need to give an address or any real verifiable information to open a free email account. Bizarre.

@ArlaRae, I am so sorry that this is what you are going through.

Personally, I would still send actual letters and photos, but keep copies in the memory box for the future. There is a chance that the mum will pass them on, or at least keep them. Even if she doesn't, it prevents you being criticised on the grounds that "well how could mum have given them to me if she never received them".

Fingers crossed this conflict will be resolved quickly. It sounds like you would be a really postive influence on his life and he would benefit from knowing you.

They’re really not wrong @Pinky2121 I just created [email protected] in seconds. The verification is just to enter my mobile number to get a passcode - which obviously I’m not going to do, because you can only use your phone number with a limited number of gmail accounts so I’m keeping it for ones that aren’t just helpful demos 👍🏻

Jeeze @AshleyBlue re all your posts you keep telling people they are rude when it is you who are rude.

For a child not yourself that's dispicable. 😡