Conversations you have that are totally normal at work but would sound very odd in public

[Idratherbepaddleboarding]

This conversation I had at work yesterday made me chuckle as it was said do nonchalantly, yet would definitely have caused raised eye brows if overheard in public:

co-worker: I’ll need to get it done today, I can’t do it tomorrow because I’m going to prison.

me: Oh me too! Which prison are you going to?

What totally normal conversations do you have at work that would sound dodgy in public? Perhaps people would like to play guess the occupation too?

Bonsai enthusiast?

Can I volunteer to do that? I have no idea what it involves, but it sounds like fun!

Teacher talk before open evenings!

As in penis graffiti...

😂

Do we have a dirty nurse today ?
yeah xx is floating this morning

Hmpf, not what I was hoping for!

I work for a charity in a B cat prison you should hear the things we say like it means nothing. The prison system is absolutely the most interesting place to work and I don't ever want yo work in a stand job again.

Newspaper journo here - Mine this week was 'why is it not bestiality if she had sex with the dog?'
Have also had: 'has anyone checked the dogging website for local hotspots?'

I now need to know why it wasn't bestiality.

You can't take X to a brothel

Another colleague overheard it with no idea of context.

"I'll give you chunks of skin from my bum so you can test the new method"