Would you offer to pick up your sister?

[aiceineonderlsnd]

My sister is coming to see me today.
We are going for afternoon tea at a hotel in my village.
It's a 25 min drive to her house but she doesn't drive so will need to get a bus and a train then I pick her up from Durham train station .
We are meeting at 3 but she has said to catch connecting train she has to leave her house at 1pm.
I think the bus takes half hour then the train 1 hour.
Honestly I just can't be bothered driving 25 mins to pick her up and then 25 mins back home to the hotel we are going too.
Is that terrible?
I don't mind driving to Durham train station as it's only 5 -10 mins away
It's pretty windy today and forecast some showers so I think she's Hinting for a lift.
I've just replied saying okay will let you get sorted
Drop me a text when your nearly in Durham

A caring family member would be taking every opportunity to encourage her back in the car and definitely not providing lifts as that will prolong her fear of driving.

Hmmm I am the oldest of four sisters and the only one who drives. The others could afford to do it if they wanted but choose not to. Two of them always hint or outright ask for lifts, which I don't mind occasionally but it does bug me when they could just learn to drive. They all say they'd like to drive and will probably learn 'next year'. They've all been saying that for years. Their partners drive so they see that they don't have to.

I can definitely see your point OP about can't being bothered. I feel like that with my sisters too. Non drivers often seem to expect lifts.

If I were you, I probably would pick her up but only if the weather is rubbish. Otherwise she needs to pull on the big girl pants and get back behind the wheel.

Pick her up from her house, 25 mins is nothing.

My sister is similar. I'd pick her up, no problem at all and she'd get train etc back or just stay overnight with me.

I’d offer to do at least one of the trips.

I wonder if this is a reverse?

I would pick her up. 25 minutes is nothing.

Or choose somewhere closer to her for afternoon tea/ a drink/ meal.

She has a perfectly good reason for not wanting to drive. Most non drivers have a reason, whether it be financial, health issues including sight problems or anxiety, or being nervous. Driving is a huge responsibility and people should not feel pressured into it when they don’t feel comfortable with it - I’m surprised how many people fail to see how others may find it just because it’s second nature to them.

That doesn’t mean that non drivers should expect lifts, however under the circumstances it would be a bit mean to not get her, especially as you are happy driving yet somewhere within walking distance to you has been booked.

I’d pick her up

So OP, what are you going to do?

Same.

If she's got any sense, she'll continue to ignore this stupid, nasty thread.

I would pick up my DB (don’t have a sister) in a heartbeat and he would me also. I can’t believe you’re making her do a 4 hour round trip to see you!

I'd pick her up but be clear that she'll have to get the train home.

If your db picks you up up too then it’s reciprocal.

It can be extremely wearing when you’re always expected to be the chauffeur.

Yes, go and pick her up
She will otherwise be on public transport longer than she's with you!

If course I'd pick her up! I used to drive 30 minutes to take my kids to school every day, and again to pick them up! I can't even believe this a question! And just have one drink and drive her home again!

I'd quite like a sister to pick up. Just go.

I don't think it changes that much for me, the venue is still within walking distance of the OPs house, so she's planning on having a few drinks. I don't think it's necessarily evenly fair even if the OPs sister was driving, they'd be driving back whilst the OP has a jolly time drinking bubbly, with just a short walk home. I'd offer to pick my sister up as a compromise, and they can get public transport home/get an Uber, after a few drinks themselves too, if they want.

I regularly drive 3 1/4 hours to visit them then 3 1/4 hours back either the same day late evening or sleep over and drive back the next day if I've had alcohol.

How did it come about that you're going to a place so near to you?

If I wanted my sibling to do both journeys I think I'd at least tell them to come to mine for the day so that it wasn't just journey-meetup-journey.

mottytotty true. I mean he doesn’t pick me up as I drive and so does he. But he’s my DB and I love him and I would go out of my way for him without question. And if he didn’t drive then I would pick him up (25mins isn’t really very far) or I would make sure we chose somewhere he could get to easily rather than a place 5 mins down the road for me and 2 hours away for him.

Giving her a lift is getting her back into a car though, whereas making her use public transport forces her to stay away..

Presumably the OP and her sister are going to a place nearer the OP's house because that is where they want to go. If the nearest mainline station is Durham, and it's 25 mins drive to the hotel/OP's house, then it's possible that I could be thinking of a really nice a spa hotel which does afternoon tea, which fits that description/location. Well worth travelling for.