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Original poster

Would you offer to pick up your sister?

222 replies

aiceineonderlsnd · 29/12/2023 07:54

My sister is coming to see me today.
We are going for afternoon tea at a hotel in my village.
It's a 25 min drive to her house but she doesn't drive so will need to get a bus and a train then I pick her up from Durham train station .
We are meeting at 3 but she has said to catch connecting train she has to leave her house at 1pm.
I think the bus takes half hour then the train 1 hour.
Honestly I just can't be bothered driving 25 mins to pick her up and then 25 mins back home to the hotel we are going too.
Is that terrible?
I don't mind driving to Durham train station as it's only 5 -10 mins away
It's pretty windy today and forecast some showers so I think she's Hinting for a lift.
I've just replied saying okay will let you get sorted
Drop me a text when your nearly in Durham

OP posts:
Allthingsdecember · 29/12/2023 09:31

I think not picking her up is really mean… she’s only 25 minutes away.

ilovesushi · 29/12/2023 09:33

I would pick her up. 25 minutes doesn't seem like much at all.

Dotcheck · 29/12/2023 09:33

Yes, pick her up! Or book for someplace more convenient to her too.

Tacotortoise · 29/12/2023 09:33

I think you picking her up and she making her own way home sounds like the perfect compromise.

2024betterBebetter · 29/12/2023 09:34

The thing I’m taking from it is you can’t be bothered to drive 25 mins to get your sister but expect her to be so interested in seeing you that you expect her to travel for over an hour in bad weather to see you. The venue you are going to is also closest to you rather than your non-driving sister. I can see who the more devoted sister is in this scenario.

Baconking · 29/12/2023 09:34

Seems like you don't like your sister very much.
Why are you even meeting for afternoon tea?

Pigeon31 · 29/12/2023 09:35

If the weather's rubbish then yes I would go get her.

Gonkers · 29/12/2023 09:35

I would 100% pick my sister up, especially if she was coming all the way to me. For the same experience she is travelling a 4 hour return and you are travelling 20 minutes. If you collect her your day is an hour of travel and hers is 2.5.

I wouldn’t hesitate to do this for my sister.

Vickythevan63 · 29/12/2023 09:36

Are you sure that you have your timings right Op, an hours train ride to Durham would be Leeds, maybe Doncaster, or Northumberland - all more than 25 mins drive away?

Landlubber2019 · 29/12/2023 09:36

I would pick her up my sister, I would ensure she had a bed to stay in overnight. I expect someone to travel for upto 3 hours for an afternoon tea is ridiculous.

PixiKitKat · 29/12/2023 09:36

I think I'd collect her and then ask her to get public transport home. She chooses not to drive, maybe she should get some lessons again to build her confidence up.

I wouldn't want to do 2 round trips of 50mins though! That is a lot of time and petrol out of my day when sister has chosen to make her life harder by not driving again.

I had to do this Xmas day and I was knackered by the time I got home from the second round trip of 50 mins.

Namerequired · 29/12/2023 09:37

Yes you should pick her up.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 29/12/2023 09:39

I don't like my sister much, but in these circumstances I'd pick her up.

I'd also leave her at the side of the road the moment she started criticising everything I say and do

As an aside, is it the "SH" hotel? (If it is, I'm very envious!!it's lovely!).

SleepingStandingUp · 29/12/2023 09:39

Why are you having afternoon tea with someone you so clearly dislike?

It's a 25 minute drive for you in the dry then you get your sister's company on the way back.
It's two hours each way for her on her own in the elements.

Who booked the afternoon tea? Why is it next to your house but so far from her?

HollyGolightly4 · 29/12/2023 09:40

Vickythevan63 · 29/12/2023 09:36

Are you sure that you have your timings right Op, an hours train ride to Durham would be Leeds, maybe Doncaster, or Northumberland - all more than 25 mins drive away?

Local stopping services take much longer, plus transfer time etc.

There are so many people on this thread who clearly have never used public transport. It really isn't the worst thing in the world!

Beautiful3 · 29/12/2023 09:45

If it was my sister and we had a good relationship, yes I would go pick her up and drop off. 20 minutes is nothing, my last job was 1.5 hours away. Most of my relatives live miles away.

TheOccupier · 29/12/2023 09:47

Pick her up, drop car back at yours, walk together to hotel, drink, walk home and let sis get the train home. Seems a bit silly to be meeting near your home if you drive and she doesn't.

AlviarinAesSedai · 29/12/2023 09:49

I’m confused how is it an hour on train to Durham station? It’s 50 minutes to York. But only 25 minutes in car. But I would pick her up. And it’s a lovely day.

PostChristmasPaunch · 29/12/2023 09:50

Yes I would - without a second thought.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 29/12/2023 09:53

Did you choose the venue or did she?

freshgreen · 29/12/2023 09:54

Of course I'd pick her up under those circumstances.
How much is a taxi home for her? Maybe split the cost?

Ormside · 29/12/2023 09:55

When my sister heard I was in ICU at 2am, she picked up her keys and handbag and drove 300 miles, arriving by breakfast time. I'd drive any distance she asked me to.

Vickythevan63 · 29/12/2023 09:55

Local stopping services take much longer, plus transfer time etc.

I am well aware of that, as I use the train regularly. Anyone who lives near Durham knows that it is mainly served by East Coast mainline services, and an hours journey will be much more than 25mins drive.

@AlviarinAesSedai has also pointed this out.

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/12/2023 09:57

You shouldn’t be drinking in the afternoon OP. You should be having tea instead of prosecco or whatever. You should drive her home as well as pick her up

LaughingCat · 29/12/2023 09:58

Last year, my brother drove from South London to North Yorkshire to pick me up and then drove us both to Cheshire for a family meet up.

You don’t want to nip the 25 mins to make your sister’s life easier, when you can start catching up in the car on the way back. Then you could leave the car at yours, both of you walk to afternoon tea and she makes her own way home.

Or you could be a bit of a dick and leave her to navigate the three hours of public transport on a grotty day, just to see you.

Your choice, natch! You don’t owe her a lift but it might be a nice, Christmas gesture?