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Original poster

Would you offer to pick up your sister?

222 replies

aiceineonderlsnd · 29/12/2023 07:54

My sister is coming to see me today.
We are going for afternoon tea at a hotel in my village.
It's a 25 min drive to her house but she doesn't drive so will need to get a bus and a train then I pick her up from Durham train station .
We are meeting at 3 but she has said to catch connecting train she has to leave her house at 1pm.
I think the bus takes half hour then the train 1 hour.
Honestly I just can't be bothered driving 25 mins to pick her up and then 25 mins back home to the hotel we are going too.
Is that terrible?
I don't mind driving to Durham train station as it's only 5 -10 mins away
It's pretty windy today and forecast some showers so I think she's Hinting for a lift.
I've just replied saying okay will let you get sorted
Drop me a text when your nearly in Durham

OP posts:
Hayliebells · 29/12/2023 09:11

Whose idea was it to choose a hotel within walking distance to your house? This seems like it's very convenient for you, but not at all convenient for her, couldn't you have chosen somewhere in the middle? Somewhere that's a cheap Uber back for both of you so it's fairer? I'd pick up my sister, she already has to make her own way home somehow, you can just walk home so clearly you've lucked out in the regard. Don't be so mean.

pictoosh · 29/12/2023 09:11

Oh dear OP...you have committed the unwomanly crime of putting yourself first.
Not allowed.
Some judgement for wanting a drink too. You atrocity.

Personally speaking, I'm undecided as to whether or not I'd do the drive. Based on the information given I probably wouldn't change the course of my day to facilitate her choice not to drive after a minor accident. The more she understands how inconvenient it is to rely on public transport, the more likely she is to get back in her car.
It's a theory anyway.

BeansOnToast32 · 29/12/2023 09:11

So she's got to spend 3-4hrs of her day travelling to and from a venue close to your house? I'd go and pick her up.

LenaLamont · 29/12/2023 09:12

Of course I would pick her up! And think nothing of it.

Catsknowbest · 29/12/2023 09:12

25 minutes...and she's your sister? And you're asking?

morningtoncrescent62 · 29/12/2023 09:13

I don't drive, and I have a sister. She would never expect me to travel two hours each way to meet for afternoon tea without offering to pick me up. I think you're being mean. Or maybe this is a reverse?

I'm with the other posters who've queried why you've chosen a venue that's so convenient for you - the driver - but a long way for your sister - the non-driver. If it can't be changed (maybe it's a lovely place that you both want to go to) then give your sister a lift. Public transport in the wind and the rain isn't pleasant, and it really isn't a major inconvenience for you to refrain from drinking with your tea.

pictoosh · 29/12/2023 09:13

She doesn't have to spend 3/4 hours of her day travelling. She can drive there but chooses not to.

AGirlWithAHandOnHerArm · 29/12/2023 09:13

I live 1 hour 10 mins from my sister. 25 mins is nothing! I would pick up my sister.

Foodie000 · 29/12/2023 09:13

SideshowAuntSallyx · 29/12/2023 08:12

Why pick a place so convenient for you and so difficult for her in the first place? That's actually quite selfish.

This. So I think you should pick her up!

DameKatyDenisesClagnuts · 29/12/2023 09:14

Yes, of course go and pick her up. I'd be really pissed off if my sister was happy to let me do a 1.5 hr journey on public transport because she couldn't be arsed

ohdamnitjanet · 29/12/2023 09:15

pickledandpuzzled · 29/12/2023 08:38

Why are you meeting near your house instead of near hers, as she’s not driving at the moment?

So she can drink.

HappyBusman · 29/12/2023 09:15

pictoosh · 29/12/2023 09:13

She doesn't have to spend 3/4 hours of her day travelling. She can drive there but chooses not to.

if she’s too nervous to drive after an accident, she’s unlikely to pluck up the courage to drive in bad wind and rain. And presumably she, like the OP, wants a drink.

Up to you, obviously, OP, but don’t be surprised if she cancels.

Catsknowbest · 29/12/2023 09:17

HappyBusman · 29/12/2023 09:15

if she’s too nervous to drive after an accident, she’s unlikely to pluck up the courage to drive in bad wind and rain. And presumably she, like the OP, wants a drink.

Up to you, obviously, OP, but don’t be surprised if she cancels.

Show quote history

Exactly

Dishwashersaurous · 29/12/2023 09:20

Who arranged the afternoon tea? And chose the venue?

C152 · 29/12/2023 09:22

Yes, if you like your sister, pick her up! How is this even something you would question?! And if you can't be arsed driving anywhere, meet her somewhere close to where she lives, so she doesn't have to take 2 different forms of public transport and travel 2 hours to see you.

fruitypancake · 29/12/2023 09:23

Pick her up and she can make her own way home . Especially as it's obvs nearer your home , otherwise you would have had to travel to her so seems like you need to compromise

AvengedQuince · 29/12/2023 09:23

I'd get her. Total time is 50 minutes for you and 25 for her so a total of an hour and 15 person hours. That"s considerably less than the two hours it would take her.

kkneat · 29/12/2023 09:26

Yes I regularly drive 25 minutes or more to pick people up

educatingrati · 29/12/2023 09:27

If she needs to get a bus and a train, so bus to station A, then train to station B, can't you pick her up at station A?

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 29/12/2023 09:27

SideshowAuntSallyx · 29/12/2023 08:12

Why pick a place so convenient for you and so difficult for her in the first place? That's actually quite selfish.

This!

I would suggest something closer to DSis or - at least! - pick her up.

clpsmum · 29/12/2023 09:28

I wouldn't be going with you if you were my sister tbh. How selfish

whatsitcalledwhen · 29/12/2023 09:28

You're already meeting somewhere so much more convenient for you than her that it seems unfair. And on top of that you're not willing to put yourself out by driving 25 minutes, one way only?! Goodness me.

squeekyturkey · 29/12/2023 09:30

Yes I'd pick up my sister, friend etc, no question.

fuzzyduck1 · 29/12/2023 09:31

I’d drive to the other side of the country if my sister needed anything.

IDontOftenComment · 29/12/2023 09:31

You sound very selfish OP, the only decent thing to do is pick your sister up, and take her home, weather is horrendous and transport unreliable.
Make it a lovely treat for her and stop thinking only of yourself. Why do you need to drink alcohol at afternoon tea, surely it’s about you and your sister enjoying time together … it’s not all about you.