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Original poster

Would you offer to pick up your sister?

222 replies

aiceineonderlsnd · 29/12/2023 07:54

My sister is coming to see me today.
We are going for afternoon tea at a hotel in my village.
It's a 25 min drive to her house but she doesn't drive so will need to get a bus and a train then I pick her up from Durham train station .
We are meeting at 3 but she has said to catch connecting train she has to leave her house at 1pm.
I think the bus takes half hour then the train 1 hour.
Honestly I just can't be bothered driving 25 mins to pick her up and then 25 mins back home to the hotel we are going too.
Is that terrible?
I don't mind driving to Durham train station as it's only 5 -10 mins away
It's pretty windy today and forecast some showers so I think she's Hinting for a lift.
I've just replied saying okay will let you get sorted
Drop me a text when your nearly in Durham

OP posts:
Justwanttocomment · 29/12/2023 10:00

A train from Bishop Auckland to Durham can be two trains and 50mins. I’m now far too invested in wondering where they both live.

gerteddy · 29/12/2023 10:02

Yes I would. I'd feel so mean knowing she's having to do such a long journey for the sake of me doing less than an hours round trip.

AppleChristsBirthdayMacchiato · 29/12/2023 10:03

It's not just 25 mins though, it's 25 mins each way. So 50 minutes per journey. If OP has to take her home again afterwards (which OP said she wouldn't do, but sister might expect to be taken home if she was collected) that's nearly two hours.

If it's "only" 25 mins why can't sister get a short taxi ride?

Purplecatshopaholic · 29/12/2023 10:07

I’d pick her up. You say it’s only one way too, as you are having a few drinks, so it’s not like you will be taking her home! Just go get her, it’s Xmas, it’s a nice thing to do.

DisforDarkChocolate · 29/12/2023 10:07

I'd pick her up.

Who picked the place for tea? Somewhere the non-driver could easily get to would have been better.

HelloDaisy · 29/12/2023 10:10

Yes I would go and get her,25 minutes isn’t far really. I would enjoy the peace and quiet driving there and we could have a good natter on the way back.

My dh has gone to collect my nana today to bring her here for lunch and he will take her home again this evening. It’s an hour each way…

Nofilteritwonthelp · 29/12/2023 10:10

You are the worst sister ever that you'd rather she did that than you drive 25 minutes, it gives a fairly good indication of your personality and I'm surprised she bothers with you at all! If you don't mind going 10-15 min to the station, what's another 10min. I'm quite disgusted at your attitude I I'm honest and gakd I don't have friends or family like you.

Feelinglow24 · 29/12/2023 10:11

Of course pick her up FGS, especially since she has to to it again to get home! Enjoy your afternoon tea.

fluffi · 29/12/2023 10:12

100% pickup. It’s only 25 mins drive on your own, once you pick her up you’ll be together and can start catching up and having a nice afternoon before you get to the hotel.

Personally I’d forego the drinking and drop them back too because it extends my time with them but I don’t see enough of my siblings so would be very happy to do this.

Emotionalsupportviper · 29/12/2023 10:13

Yes it's terrible.

It's an hour of your time vs 3-4 hours of hers, plus the comfort factor.

Would you even bother to meet up with her if you had a similar journey? I'll bet you wouldn't! But she is prepared to do this to meet you.

Give her a lift, for heaven's sake.

caringcarer · 29/12/2023 10:14

I'd drive for hours for any of my sister's. You are being mean.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 29/12/2023 10:14

Pick her up! You're going somewhere minutes from your house, and the weather is awful. She'll have to make the journey twice otherwise.

Presumably you like her and get on well. Be nice!

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 29/12/2023 10:16

Truthfully, I wouldn't bother to pick her up! Maybe that makes me a bad person. But I'd be a bad person with an extra 50 minutes to enjoy!

XiCi · 29/12/2023 10:17

This is going to be a reverse isn't it

Yes I would pick her up, wouldn't think twice about it. In fact I'd pick up a work colleague or a casual acquaintance, never mind my own sister. Why are people such Dicks

LlynTegid · 29/12/2023 10:17

I would today because of not trusting trains to run smoothly given the performance of train companies in a bit of bad weather.

Middle of summer would be different.

VillageLite · 29/12/2023 10:17

The sister hasn’t actually asked to be picked up. She’s just said she needs to leave at 1pm. Maybe she’s just a bit surprised at how long it takes, if she usually travels at peak times, and was just sharing that with OP.

It might be the bus times and the train times don’t line up (tbh I’d be amazed if they do). So, say, the bus goes every hour, and the train goes every half hour. But if you get the 2pm bus, you’ll miss the train and be too late for afternoon tea. So you have to get the 1pm bus and cool your heels for 25 minutes on the platform waiting for the next train.

I would offer to pick my sister up in the same situation, it would be a nice thing to do.
But equally, I have travelled similar journeys by public transport to meet a friend for lunch (eg 25 minute bus, half hour wait, 25 minute bus, for a journey that takes half an hour by car) ,when DH was using the car, and never thought anything of it. She might not expect a lift.

Shinyandnew1 · 29/12/2023 10:18

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/12/2023 09:57

You shouldn’t be drinking in the afternoon OP. You should be having tea instead of prosecco or whatever. You should drive her home as well as pick her up

Are you the fun police?!

I presume you picked this venue together? What normally happens when you go out?

If the venue was a 5/10 minute walk from my house, I’d be walking and not driving at all!

Bippitybobbityboing · 29/12/2023 10:21

It wouldn't have occurred to me to let her get the bus and train in the first place tbh.
I regularly make a 2-hour round trip to see my sister so can't see the issue.

Brefugee · 29/12/2023 10:21

you CBA to take less than an hour from your day to pick up your sister, but she should travel 4 hours?

In her shoes I'd bin you off.

mottytotty · 29/12/2023 10:22

How do your meet ups usually go, OP? Are they usually near you or near her or do you take it in turns?

If you alternate it so that you meet near her half the time then absolutely do not feel guilty, you are doing more than enough picking her up from he station, her decision to stop driving is not your problem and you don’t want to set a precedent that you will always pick her up.

If however meet ups are usually near you then I think it’s fair that you pick her up from her house.

mottytotty · 29/12/2023 10:23

caringcarer · 29/12/2023 10:14

I'd drive for hours for any of my sister's. You are being mean.

Sure you would.

LuluBlakey1 · 29/12/2023 10:25

I think it is fair shares for you to collect her from home and her to go back by herself.

AppleChristsBirthdayMacchiato · 29/12/2023 10:27

Nofilteritwonthelp · 29/12/2023 10:10

You are the worst sister ever that you'd rather she did that than you drive 25 minutes, it gives a fairly good indication of your personality and I'm surprised she bothers with you at all! If you don't mind going 10-15 min to the station, what's another 10min. I'm quite disgusted at your attitude I I'm honest and gakd I don't have friends or family like you.

There's really no reason to be so abusive over what is really a very minor issue, when we have no idea of the dynamic here.

"Worst sister ever" for expecting an able-bodied person to catch a train, rather than playing chauffeur? Really? The WORST? Worse than murderers, and abusers, and women who fuck their sister's husbands?

It's slightly surprised that MN is against the OP given the consensus on MN is usually that anyone who doesn't drive is selfish, a failure as an adult, and demands lifts everywhere.

HoppingPavlova · 29/12/2023 10:30

Yes, because I can’t imagine a world where a 50min round trip (25min each way) is considered a ‘long trip’. Only seems to be the case on UK sites tbh.

pictoosh · 29/12/2023 10:32

@AppleChristsBirthdayMacchiato
I agree. I read that post and thought about addressing it...but I decided it was pointless. Anyone who carries on so spitefully (and dare I say, childishly) isn't going to listen to reason.

Says a lot about the person who wrote it. Not a happy individual.