Things that can be said at Christmas or during sex.

[Mysterian]

I've hidden a sixpence inside it!

Why don't I dress as an elf and you can be Santa?

I knew I should have bought more batteries!

Just put it on so we can start, I know it looks ridiculous but we're all doing it.

There's definitely a bit more, just reach in a bit further....ooh, that's it there!

The cat's got in there again, it's your turn to drag it out.

Do you turn the bird over, halfway through?

It was too big to wrap, so I'll blindfold you instead.

Are you going to put the tree up yourself?

"Who invited them?!"

"The more the merrier!"

The build up and anticipation is so much more fun and enjoyable! However on the day it’s a bit anticlimactic sadly.

Well done OP - this is one of the funniest threads ever 🤣

No your brother's isn't bigger, you've both got exactly the same.

Why would I want to eat that little green thing?

It's always such an anti-climax

That won't go round four people

It's much moister this year

Look at that monster, I'll never eat all that

Don't even think about peeping inside!

Stick some holly in to make it look festive

It's really just for children

(conceiving them!)

My mum showed me how to do this but your way is better

Ooh it's sprayed everywhere!
It's all the cleaning up afterwards I don't like.

😂

Pull this it will finish with a bang (Christmas cracker)

My granny’s was moister

That will never fit through the back door, it will have to come in through the front.

I hate this stupid game!

All these new toys are so exciting!

Let me make it bigger for you.

(About extending the dining table)

You need to take that off so I can make it bigger.

(About the tablecloth)

• Let me make it bigger for you.

(About extending the dining table)*

My dad was on the phone yesterday, telling me he got the extender out. Thank Christ he was talking about the table!!!

All I need now is some of that pressed tongue.

Rosenkål? Hvorfor det?

You need nine lessons.