Things that can be said at Christmas or during sex.

[Mysterian]

I've hidden a sixpence inside it!

Why don't I dress as an elf and you can be Santa?

I knew I should have bought more batteries!

It's not going to fit

If you put a bit of foil on it it stops it burning.

You always fall asleep afterwards.

Slather it in butter and pop it in

I need help clearing up.

Not for me thanks, I've never liked the taste.

Put plenty of oil on it to keep it moist.

🤣🤣🤣

It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

You still have a little bit on your chin.

I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning.

Do you want your Christmas one first, or your birthday one?

I've told you already you'll have to wait until after the Kings speech

I’ll need to clean the oven once we get this out of the way

I shall be sniggering all day now.

I'm stuffed, let's leave it an hour's and see if we get a second wind

Do you want another pornstar?

Watch where you're putting that cream!

I've got my special pyjamas on.

Ho ho ho!

You did wrap it didn’t you?

Rub it all over with butter , really massage it in

ohh that’s a big one
I’ll be stuffed after that

I don't mind the big day itself but the clean up afterwards takes ages.

The glitter gets in all the cracks.

Hurry up, your parents will be here soon!

Wow that's a full sack

I hope you do it properly
I hate it when it’s dry

I've given the postman a little something.

"How was it?"

"A bit dry, even when I basted it in butter and draped bacon on it"

"Oh well, at least you won't have to have it again for another year"