Things that can be said at Christmas or during sex.

[Mysterian]

I've hidden a sixpence inside it!

Why don't I dress as an elf and you can be Santa?

I knew I should have bought more batteries!

Can you find the end for me?

Feels like there's still a tangerine down there.

Don't get it all out on the carpet, Auntie Dot will be here in a minute.

yeah it doesn't taste that great you have to drown it with cream to eat it

I don't think it's properly thawed out yet.
It's not as good as the one I got last year.
I spent hours getting it ready, and then you scoff it down in one go.

I’m not going to this effort next year

Want to see what's for afters?

Brandy butter or squirty cream?

Mummy, he came!

By that's a lot of meat

I feel so fat I can’t move I’m just going to lie on the sofa and you can do everything

" thank you for having me"
"And thank you for coming".

It doesn’t look like Jamie Oliver’s…

If I don’t undo my trousers I’ll burst!

Seems to come earlier every year. 🙄

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Make sure the juices are running clear

Ooh, that was a lovely service!

I try to show enthusiasm, but I just want to go to sleep.

Let's get a takeaway instead.

That’s a big one
im stuffed

I am grateful! I said thank you, didn't I?

Sure you can't squeeze in some pudding?

No more for me, I’m absolutely stuffed. Oh go on then …..

Put some butter under the skin, it tastes better!

You'll grow into it.

It's been hanging for three days.