Things that can be said at Christmas or during sex.

[Mysterian]

I've hidden a sixpence inside it!

Why don't I dress as an elf and you can be Santa?

I knew I should have bought more batteries!

Shall we fill the stockings while the kids are asleep?

I am sitting here with my husband and son in law and they keep asking why I am laughing out loud. Not awkward at all!

A splash of Baileys will make it taste better.

Naughty or nice?

Are you wearing the Marigolds or am I?

We should get a life-size inflatable reindeer.

Just stick it in

I used to enjoy it when I was younger but it's all too much effort now.

He's come and filled my stocking!

Thank goodness we only have to do this once a year!

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed that!

Shall we invite the neighbours to join us?

Would you like to pull this with me?

Have you wrapped it yet?

It's only something small..

I love it with all the lights on 🌲

Pop it straight in the back

She could do with a bit more..

That's a big old bird!

Santa has come inside, left all this white mess and left!

(We make footprints out of flour on the floor.)

I'll see myself out..

I've had enough now, can everyone just go.

Mother says to give it another 10 minutes.

That stuffing was a bit on the salty side.

Pull harder!

Woah the contents your sack are all over the floor

Let's go out in the car and see if the neighbours have their lights on

I think he's stuck in the chimney!

Go and check the kids are asleep and tell me if it's safe to come

Now that's a pig in a blanket!