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Original poster

The funniest thing you’ve read on Mumsnet

116 replies

Shelovesmilktray · 19/12/2023 09:44

A relative latecomer to Mumsnet, I’ve read posts that have been heart-breaking, sad, fascinating, terrifying.

There have been lots that have been funny and a few that have made me howl with laughter. A few that spring to mind:

’You’re the chicken carcus’

Snapped and farted

And the one where people posted about the reality of clothes bought on line eg leather jacket made one poster look like Suzi Quattro’s nan. And the Monsoon top with a collar that looked like a triceratop.

And so many more 😁

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
AffIt · 19/12/2023 09:46

Ha, yes, I came to mention Suzi Quattro's fat nan! 🤣

I think somebody else mentioned a white jumpsuit that made them look like 'a middle-aged, female Jackie Chan', which also made me laugh.

That thread was brilliant.

DuploTrain · 19/12/2023 09:50

The thread about OP’s husband being refused to buy canesten was very funny. It took a turn in a very unexpected direction.

Also the one where OP’s cat got stuck in an empty house and she considered posting ham through the air vents.

Elderflower14 · 19/12/2023 10:01

The poster who was "FUMMING" because a fellow Mner had said she would talk to her in the playground but ignored her!!

Devilsmommy · 19/12/2023 10:02

The angry Santa cactus one was hilarious 🤣

Fannyfiggs · 19/12/2023 10:12

DuploTrain · 19/12/2023 09:57

😂 I was NOT expecting that!

TeaTurtle · 19/12/2023 10:15

The fat balls thread 😆 😂 I cannot find the link though!!!

TomatoSandwiches · 19/12/2023 10:18

" Paul... is that you? "

The one where you discover an inordinate amount of people undress completely to have a poo 🥴

SoundTheSirens · 19/12/2023 10:22

The Suzi Quattro's fat nan / fashion expectation versus reality thread is hands down the funniest thread I've ever read here, I sometimes go back to it when I'm in need of a laugh.

The funniest single comment was when some cocky young whippersnapper started a "MAN HERE, I can solve all your lady-brained IT needs" and an MNer replied with something like "oh, thank god you're here, I've just been bashing the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best".

Neolara · 19/12/2023 10:25

DuploTrain · 19/12/2023 09:57

This thread has made me (literally) cry laughing.

DollyDaydreamW · 19/12/2023 10:25

The poster in the terrible clothes thread (I think) who said they dyed their hair red and looked like a "fat match". I think/laugh about that one too often 😅

Northsideoftheriver · 19/12/2023 10:28

The dead wasp one. Possibly featuring Barbara? Wine on the wall or something like that.

Had me howling.

LubaLuca · 19/12/2023 10:29

Many years ago, someone said they got caught short on a walk and had to use 'a wet pebble' to wipe their arse. That phrase still makes me smirk every time I remember it. So innocuous, but love the detail of it being wet 😂

Walkingtheplank · 19/12/2023 10:39

Cubes of poo...

Echobelly · 19/12/2023 10:43

There was a thread about embarrassing yourself and there was a post about a woman who go at Amazon package from an incredibly tall delivery man and as she shut the door she meant to shout 'Thank you!' but for some reason she blurted out 'TALL MAN!', which just totally cracks me up every time I think of it.

Also a thread about getting excessively angry with inanimate objects and all the dumb things we've broken/shouted insults at while in a mood. There was some hilariously creative swearing involved.

YesitsBess · 19/12/2023 10:49

Devilsmommy · 19/12/2023 10:02

The angry Santa cactus one was hilarious 🤣

That was me! He's about to put his hat on again for the festive period but...

The funniest thing you’ve read on Mumsnet
Walkingtheplank · 19/12/2023 10:50

DuploTrain · 19/12/2023 09:57

Well that's the craziest plot twist I've seen for a whole. 😄

Devilsmommy · 19/12/2023 10:51

YesitsBess · 19/12/2023 10:49

That was me! He's about to put his hat on again for the festive period but...

Show quote history

That cactus just looks so evil🤣😆🤣😆

NotFastButFurious · 19/12/2023 11:11

The recent one with the cat trapped in an empty house was brilliant.
This also made me laugh.......keep scrolling for the diagram!! Someone has parked… | Mumsnet

Someone has parked… | Mumsnet

A horse, an actual horse, complete with carriage outside my house and secured it to my drainpipe!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4513752-Someone-has-parked

Bernardmanning · 19/12/2023 11:22

@TeaTurtle

The fat balls one sprung to mind last week. I'd taken my daughter to see Father Xmas, then rushed out for a night out at the pub. Returned home a bit merry and rather hungry and low and behold, a bag of homemade truffles lay on the kitchen counter. I was just about to pop one into my mouth when I realised that it was a bit harder than I had expected. It transpired that my daughter had unwrapped her present from Father Xmas and had received a bag of geodes.

TheDogsMother · 19/12/2023 11:41

That thread is pure gold. I loved the 'what a millipede with 5 legs ?'

SpeculatingRooks · 19/12/2023 11:41

The thread that had me literally crying with laughter was "things that are supposed to be romantic but aren't "
Sorry don't know how to do a link on the app but very much worth a read if you can find it!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/12/2023 11:48

The ‘cutted up pear’ - cracked me up. 😂

Sgtmajormummy · 19/12/2023 12:14

A completely random perfumista thread talking about “sillage”, the French word for the trail of scent you leave behind.
I read it as SILAGE, the fermented animal feed which smells really really bad.
I woke DH up with my snorts of laughter when I wrote:
”By Jove, Jeeves, this perfume smells like shit!”
“Must be the sillage, Sir.”

That and the poster who made brilliant intentional typos (forgotten the name, something with Ph).