The funniest thing you’ve read on Mumsnet

[Shelovesmilktray]

A relative latecomer to Mumsnet, I’ve read posts that have been heart-breaking, sad, fascinating, terrifying.

There have been lots that have been funny and a few that have made me howl with laughter. A few that spring to mind:

’You’re the chicken carcus’

Snapped and farted

And the one where people posted about the reality of clothes bought on line eg leather jacket made one poster look like Suzi Quattro’s nan. And the Monsoon top with a collar that looked like a triceratop.

And so many more 😁

The window cleaner who didn't turn up but expected to be paid!!

There was a good story about a woman in the office who overhead her office crush on the phone reading out his address for a delivery.

Just out of interest she opened Maps on her phone and typed in his post code. The phone then started doing the voice navigation and said something like "calculating route to BN12 7LJ" or whatever his post code was, basically broadcasting it to the office. She tried to turn it off/down, but it was too late and she was too embarrassed to turn round and see what the office crush was doing so just stared at her computer screen. Mortifying!

Ah, I found it! To have done the most embarrassing thing ever http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4499744-To-have-done-the-most-embarrassing-thing-ever

Yes! This one made me properly laugh!

Sharon!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1212449-dh-threw-wine-at-the-wall

Found it

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1498923-Shouting-at-me-in-the-supermarket

Suzi Quattro's fat nan:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/3106919-Anyone-want-to-come-and-mourn-the-reality-vs-expectation-of-new-purchases-with-me

Fat match:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/2879643-Biggest-beauty-regret

You do know it was lifted from a Alexander Mccall Smith 44 Scotland Street Novel.

Im laughing as Im typing about this one.. the thread was about “your least effective flounces” or something like that. Someone posted about the family all being in the kitchen when their parents had a row. The Mum, in a temper , threw a plastic bag with a basil leaf in it at her husband. They all watched in silence as it took ages to waft to the floor! I can just picture that! I hope the poster reads this - you have given me a disproportionate amount of pleasure laughing at that!

I just thought of another one! I think it was in Penetration Man but there was a post about someone’s DH walking up to the poster as she attempted to watch television and slapping her in the head with his penis. I have the sense of humour of a twelve-year-old but that was still making me laugh three years after reading it.

The Olympic horses thread.
It was in chat and was lost forever many years ago but was about whether the show jumping horses went to the olympics or if the riders had to choose random horses in whatever country the event was taking part in.

Definitely Suzi Quattro's fat nan. Thanks for re-posting - just laughed my way through it all over again. Also the fat balls thread.

Years ago there was a thread about getting the words wrong for things. A poster told how she was trying to describe a rug, but couldn’t remember the word so came out with “floor cardigan”.

Has consistently cracked me up.

There was a thread about opening and closing curtains, one poster said her parents close their curtains in the evening but then open them again before they go to bed, ready for the morning, I was absolutely howling when I read that one, it still makes me laugh when I think of it 😂😂😂

Yeah fat balls and spray painted pigeon. Also, your minge

That was me 😁 I'm very glad it brought you happiness! I was quite proud of myself...

I'll enjoy reading through some of the other threads on here. I'm already chuckling at someone saying 'TALL MAN' to the Amazon guy!

pigeon

Colonel Gadaffi 😂😂😂

This one amused me too

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1882860-the-kids-have-named-the-baby-budgie

I read this at work over about four days and had people asking me why I was crying at my desk. I genuinely couldn't tear myself away from it. I haven't worked there for 10 years so it's a very old one.

I pooed on my skirt at work today www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1439461-I-pooed-on-my-skirt-at-work-today

So many 😅
I remember one on a Xmas traditions thread. OP was incredulous that their in laws decorated the tree and then had a random tradition of throwing chestnuts at each other’s heads. The OP was watching them like wtf ! Being encouraged to join in.

Another xmassy one was a works do thread. OP saw a junior member of staff get royally pissed at a Xmas lunch and then was so sozzled they had to be wheeled out of the office like a drunken ‘Hannibal Lector’. Don’t think they ever returned to the job!

I thought Snapped and Farted was very contrived and not very funny. Mildly amusing at most.

Same with the Sistine Chapel shrieking nonsense. Probably a troll.

The slithery name thread. Although I’ve spoilt the punchline. Can’t find it so can’t link unfortunately.

Someone started an anxious thread where they said that a penis was literally a gun that can shot you.