What do you get from mother in laws or partners parents for Christmas? Is this normal?

[Ebee19]

Hi, Just wondering what others get? When we started dating I (30) got lovely gifts if I was there over Christmas, like a scarf or hat, which I was very happy with. However, recently been presents her grandkids don't want (like childrens handbags or sketch books). I did ask my partner last year as it was clearly for a child (not complaining to him just thought a tad random and maybe a mix up as it had dolls in), and he said she buys multiples for all the grandkids each year as extra gifts (7, 8, 13, 15) and she had shown this to him prior to wrapping it for me so it was for me.

I am not after anything expensive or anything like that. I had considered it was a money issue but they spend £300-500 quid on their children and another £100-200 on grandkids (I have genuinely never seen anything like it, present time takes 4+ hours). My Mum has noticed too as she gets a birthday present and does a birthday dinner for my partner and a Christmas present (she says she budgets about half the value she gets her children for partners). It's been things like slow cookers (requested), towel sets, nice shirts etc.

It's not the expense or anything like that, but I would just like a scarf, jumper, voucher, diary, book, socks, tights or anything that feels like it was bought for me rather than a child. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Or what people actually get given by the in laws? Maybe this is normal? Many thanks :)

4th year here! It's lovely. No one is missing them (not ex just NC).

I had an aunt that used to give me the most awful gifts. I started re-gifting the same present back to her. One Christmas I gave her back the same horrible jumper she had given me the next year. She was absolutely delighted. I know it's not the same thing, but if they give you inappropriate presents perhaps you might give those presents to a child. Also I wouldn't spend much money on a gift to her as she considers you a child.

I got a second hand breast pump.

I wasn't even pregnant.

Why on earth didnt your partner tell his mothervhhst a child present is not appropriate for you? 🤔🙄

I have always tried to think carefully about gifts and it was easier when the grandchildren were young. Teenagers prefer to choose things, so I give them money. I wouldn’t presume to know their taste in clothes. They always have one or two things to unwrap though, and I try to find something unusual. I can’t spend a huge amount though, so it needs plenty of thought.

It’s usually a joint present for the adults, like a voucher for meals out, a theatre trip, a posh hamper, an afternoon tea at home, cocktails and speciality spirits.

I hope they enjoy their gifts. A lot of thought has gone into them, particularly bearing in mind the budget.

I have never really had presents. It totally doesn’t bother me.

Regift her gifts from two or more years ago. Fein ignorance if she calls you on it. Repeat every year.

Ten years ago when DH and I first met I got really nice gifts, Estee Lauder gift sets, Versace perfume etc. then at some point about 3 years ago around the time we got married and had our first child, things changed. Almost like I’ve moved from ‘young’ girlfriend status to wife and therefore become incredibly boring. 2 years ago I got a water flosser and last year an advent calendar (opened on Christmas Day). I think they just can’t be bothered anymore and just get any thing they’re passing.

I think you win 😂

My dad used to buy my SIL the same as my sister and I.

It always pissed me off as it seemed to be unnecessarily generous!

Sounds like MIL is struggling in some way, health/mental health/financial issues maybe.

Not quite how I'd react to such a gift as I've always been brought up with say thank you and smile mentality.
Maybe offer to help with present buying/wrapping see if you can figure out what's going wrong.
I'm a forgetful bad planner and often double buy for one person and forget another, writing it down has helped as does buying on line as I can easily see what I've bought.

@AyrshireTryer

Wow enjoy this Xmas. 🙏