You’re out for a coffee, cake and people watching in a cafe, what annoys you and spoils the experience?

[Britpopbaby]

People who “talk” so loudly that even in a busy cafe you can follow their full conversation.

You see faffing families on the train, too.

"Shall we sit here? Oh, are there some seats further along? Shall we sit there? No, let's sit here. Toby, do you want to sit by the window? Sit down, Toby. Yes, the train's moving. Yes, we're going to London. No, it's not the next stop, there's six more stops before we get there. Do you want your drink, Ophelia? Ophelia, do you want your drink? It's in your backpack. Give me your backpack. Oh, you don't want it. Toby, sit down. No you can't go and sit over there. Sit down...."

All at a volume that half the carriage can hear.

OTOH, I did once sit near a delightful pair of children, who must have been around five or six. They knew just enough to be able to sound out the names of the stations we stopped at. They were doing it all on their own initiative without prompting from the parent.

The parent was so self-effacing I don't remember him or her, but I do remember the children's big smiles when they successfully read a name.

Enough with the performance parenting topic, it's like a broken record. Anyone not being obtuse knows the difference.

I've literally never heard anyone doing it. You all must live near some very strange people.

I've seen performance parenting a few times. It definitely exists. Once on a packed train there was a mum and small child reading a kids magazine to him. There's nothing wrong with that and nice that she was occupying her child at least, except she was putting on all these stupid voices at an extremely high volume and glancing around to see who else was watching. Just be natural with your kids and don't do it for the benefit of others.

Yes I’m surprised so many people haven’t come across performance parenting or are concerned they may in fact be doing it. If you’re just talking to your child normally then you’re not! I have to say dads can be the worst offenders as there is an added air of ‘look at me parenting my child. Aren’t I great?’

I didnt mention performance parenting.

My thoughts were better to talk to/with your child than not. Screens stop that.

As a teacher and now senior educational professional, I see the damage.

Other people’s children.

Dogs, loud conversations in person and on the phone.
Performance parents, children running around, people watching us. Cold food and poor service.

People on zoom meetings … on loud speak, thinking that they’re business person of the year. STFU.

People talking way too loud
people on hands free
dogs barking or jumping to get what is on my table
people swearing, especially loudly

Noisy/bratty children combined with absent parenting
People with braying voices on the phone on loudspeaker (we don't want to hear it thanks)
Other people's dogs wandering around the tables

Not so much a cafe only thing, but when adults give their kids phones and tablets to amuse themselves. Then parent is also on phone, usually all on loudspeaker.

i have been to mid price restaurants (not cheap but also not v pricey), and seen families glued to their own screens all on sound.

I just wonder why people don’t talk to each other and increase their children’s social skills and also it is really annoying to hear devices going off.

Cake that looks better than it tastes!

Dogs

Weak coffee and stale cake.

People who "people watch". Stop looking at me!

Rude employees who don't say "sorry for the weight" or even "what can I get you?" That'll just look at you and wait for you to talk.
Also when the tables are dirty and the staff are just focusing on making food/drinks

*wait!!!! ☺️

The temperature! I regularly go and sit in my local Starbucks after a long day in the office with a coffee, cake and book and it bugs me that for some reason it's freezing in there! I end up sitting in my coat and never really feeling that comfortable

Engage your child in conversation at home, where you don't bother others.
Especially if it's 'on their level'.

The selfish fuckers with their phones on loudspeakers.. why are there so many of them?

People who conduct job interviews or performance reviews in public.

I have, occasionally and politely, advised them that I have just heard very personal details about folk and they'd do well to think it through next time.

It's dreadful and unprofessional

I tell you what, if someone opened a quiet, adults only cafe chain, they'd make a fortune.

Absolutely brilliant!
Makes me never want to go out again...
WHY do they do this? Performative/unaware/disorganised?

So should conversation with small children not be allowed in coffee shops?