You’re out for a coffee, cake and people watching in a cafe, what annoys you and spoils the experience?

[Britpopbaby]

People who “talk” so loudly that even in a busy cafe you can follow their full conversation.

Nothing. If I can't sit outside then I don't use them.

shall we share?

I agree. The phrase "Can I get" really grinds my gears. Such appalling grammar 😞

I totally understand I feel the same.
Bring back children who were seen and not heard. Far more civilised imo.

Noisy kids. Groups of (normally older men yelling about football/fucking telling each other that they had fucking fish and chips last night/phoning 'Tony' "Where are you, you fucker, yeah I am in the fucking Star Cafe having a fucking burger, yeah a fucking burger, yeah, with fucking cheese, salad, yeah" Or in one particular cafe I no longer go to, you cannot hear yourself think. A group of older people scream at each other about their ailments etc.

Or blokes (again!) with their phones on loud watching something on I guess facebook/tiktok or whatever it is now/you tube.

I hate it when staff come and clean the table close by /next to you, or even your table, by liberally spraying noxious chemicals around more or less in your face, while you are sitting there with uncovered food and drink.

Definitely prefer Maccy Ds- apart from during school holidays

I know this sounds radical but we bring things for our 4yo to do! Colouring book, stories, magnet cube etc. It’s not difficult to not inflict your child on other people.

Yep, nail on the head. We always had things for our son. I always had a couple of matchbox cars in my bag along with a small pack of crayons, a small book, etc. If the cafe/restaurant had a colouring book or puzzle book, so much the better, but we didn't expect them to provide entertainment and made sure we had something with us to occupy him. We'd get him to do "tally" charts in the little book, such as what colour jackets people were wearing or had mini competitions as to guessing whether there'll be more men, women or children coming through the door and he'd do tally charts to count them, or tally charts of coloured cars if we had a window table! If you have kids, it's your responsibility to keep them entertained and not inflict their noise and disturbance on other people!

It's a good idea in theory and would work for some. But when a kid is bored or wound up, they aren't going to sit for long even if you take a toy. Sometimes it might be unplanned to go and sit somewhere and you just want a quick hot drink without carrying a bag of stuff around, especially if you have a few kids. If I'm out with 2 of my kids I'd probably go into Costa or somewhere if I wanted to but all of them together is not worth it at the moment because I know I won't be able to just sit and enjoy my coffee. I'd just go to McDonald's which they enjoy more, so they're more likely to behave.

Performance parenting
really bugs me 🙄

Any age?… Even a 20yr old?

Completely agree.

And the security queue at an airport is absolutely not the time for faffing and trying to teach little Horatio his shapes and colours.

"So this is the tray that we have to put our things in. It's a rectangle. Can you see any other rectangles? In goes Daddy's jacket. What colour is Daddy's jacket?"

(In case anybody was wondering, Daddy's jacket was RED, the lady in the next line also had a RED jacket and boarding cards, passports, iPad, phone and the man's suitcase were also RECTANGLES.)

I hold my hand up to being a performance parent. Every moment has to be a teaching moment. I drive my DC mad and now I realise I drive everyone else mad too.
Lightbulb moment.
I’ll try to stop but I don’t think I can.

Aaargh yes @ChicoryDip I hate that!

Also when little Horatio just HAS to walk up the stairs by himself in a really busy place (like a central train station - especially during peak times) but he's still a toddler. Just carry him up and let him practice stairs somewhere less busy!

Parents of young dc who loudly and incessantly engage in a running dialogue about what dc needs or is doing. Dc inevitably not with parents but wandering the tables forcing a situation where I am now back at work mentally and can't wait to leave. This or a slabbering, damp dog wandering around while owner smiles lovingly at every person the dog clicks or shakes on. So in a nutshell pain in the arse people who feel entitled.

I took my dc to a coffee shop yesterday. Oops! I spoke to them (because they spoke to me first); I let one disappear out of my sight (because they needed the loo); I gave one my phone to look at (because they asked something that I couldn't answer); I ignored them for a bit and concentrated on my hot chocolate (because they were talking to each other). I hadn't realised we were being such a pain to the other patrons (of an almost empty cafe). I am so, so sorry.

@ShutTheDoorBabe , It was you! Don't you realise how noisy they are?

I am being facetious; I know what performance parenting looks and sounds like and it does my head in too. They're more annoying than the ones who yell, "AJ, for fuck's sake, shut up and drink your coke!"

Yea oops 😳😂

I didn't go to a coffee shop yesterday.

If I'm sat in the draft from the door being open and closed a lot with no other seats available

Oh no, not parents talking to their kids in public!! How terribly awful for you to have to listen to

I haven't enjoyed a thread like I have this one for ages. 😂

When you can't immediately sit where you want for reasons unknown and the suggestions for where to sit are not up to scratch and you have to politely decline the suggestions they make.