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Original poster

Postman keeps making lewd comments about my husband, should I make a complaint?

229 replies

wimsywon · 04/10/2023 13:10

We've lived at this address for seven years with the same postie throughout this time. Over the past year or so, our post man has starting making lewd comments about my husband and its become quite tiresome. Both hubby and I work from home, so either one of us runs to the door for deliveries. I now dread it! He never says anything inappropriate to my husband but when I go to the door, it's all lewd innuendo, targetted at my husband. Needless to say, the postman is a gay man and I have no issue with that. It's the constant suggestive comments and the fact that he can't seem to just hand us our mail with a pleasant greeting like he used to do. It just seems disrespectful and utterly cringe worthy! Should I complain to Royal Mail? Or should I let it go? The other neighbours seem happy with him, so the cringy chit chat seems to be aimed at us. It's horrible and both hubby and I hate it!

OP posts:
ssd · 04/10/2023 13:12

Why cant you tell him to fucking rap it

GalileoHumpkins · 04/10/2023 13:14

What kind of lewd comments? Definitely complain about him, he's being sexually inappropriate because he knows it makes you uncomfortable.

Riverlee · 04/10/2023 13:14

Have you spoken to the postman?

Firstly, tell him that his comments are inappropriate and unprofessional. If he continues, then complain to the Post office.

NotSuchASmugMarried · 04/10/2023 13:15

Can't your husband tell him to keeping his fucking mouth shut and his foul comments to himself?

Stripeypyjamas · 04/10/2023 13:15

Get an external mail box

WhateverMate · 04/10/2023 13:16

2 things spring to mind.

Why are you making the complaint instead of your husband?

Why is anyone thinking of complaining without telling the postman to stop it?

Finlesswonder · 04/10/2023 13:16

Like what? "Here's a nice big hard package for bob, I hope he can take it"?

EmmaEmerald · 04/10/2023 13:17

WhateverMate · 04/10/2023 13:16

2 things spring to mind.

Why are you making the complaint instead of your husband?

Why is anyone thinking of complaining without telling the postman to stop it?

Edited

Because he's making the comments to her.

OP tell him to stop making those remarks and that you'll be recording interactions in future.

Bivarb · 04/10/2023 13:17

He probably doesn't realise he's being offensive but he is crossing a line. Perhaps next time, raise an eyebrow and ask him if he usually sexually harasses his customers? Might make him realise you don't have that kind of friendly relationship and he should be more professional.

openallday · 04/10/2023 13:18

What sort of thing does he day?

The wonderful women of mumsnet will have fabulous suggestions to put him in his place

Olika · 04/10/2023 13:18

Riverlee · 04/10/2023 13:14

Have you spoken to the postman?

Firstly, tell him that his comments are inappropriate and unprofessional. If he continues, then complain to the Post office.

This

wutheringkites · 04/10/2023 13:19

Finlesswonder · 04/10/2023 13:16

Like what? "Here's a nice big hard package for bob, I hope he can take it"?

😂😂😂

GoodnightJude1 · 04/10/2023 13:21

I think a “That’s really not appropriate” would suffice. Then just shut the door.
He’s doing it because he knows he can get away with it.
If he does it again then calmly tell him you’ll be contacting Royal Mail because you find his behaviour inappropriate and uncomfortable.
You need to tell him and give him a chance to stop before contacting Royal Mail I think. He may think you find it funny and that’s why he carries on!

JustYouAndMeNow · 04/10/2023 13:21

Yes you can absolutely can complain but I'd also be leaving something on the doorstep for mail, if he calls just calmly tell him to leave the mail there next time.
If you want to carry on opening the door to him don't smile or laugh, just politely say thankyou and close the door, don't get into any discussion with him at all. I'd be leaving a box of some sort though.
It's bloody creepy though and you don't need to put up with it at all.

Changes17 · 04/10/2023 13:22

Could you say: ‘I know you think that’s funny but I really don’t. Can you lay off the sexual comments?’

Pottomous2 · 04/10/2023 13:23

I had an outdoor post box - worked great! Get one of those so you don’t even have to look at him.

bonzaitree · 04/10/2023 13:23

I’d give him a hard stare, raise eyebrow and deadpan face.

If he doesn’t get the message say « that’s not appropriate. » hard stare.

If he still doesn’t get the message then complain

wildwestpioneer · 04/10/2023 13:25

Just say something I the postie.

'Please stop making these types of comments about my dh, they are rude and inappropriate' if he does it again 'then' I'd complain

BettyPhuckzer · 04/10/2023 13:26

Why does anyone have to go to the door? Just leave a note, and he can pop the post on the doorstep

MNetcurtains · 04/10/2023 13:26

Nothing to add except to say thankyouthankyou for using 'cringe worthy' instead of the increasingly accepted, and utterly cringe inducing 'cringe(y)' 😉

Goldflap · 04/10/2023 13:28

Finlesswonder · 04/10/2023 13:16

Like what? "Here's a nice big hard package for bob, I hope he can take it"?

🤣

Wellwellwellwallace · 04/10/2023 13:29

I'd just ask him to stop.
If it carries on then say it more strongly about it being offensive/ inappropriate.
Then I'd complain to RM

But not before I'd had a couple of tries myself

NotSuchASmugMarried · 04/10/2023 13:31

Finlesswonder · 04/10/2023 13:16

Like what? "Here's a nice big hard package for bob, I hope he can take it"?

I'm fucking crying here!😂

111111111a · 04/10/2023 13:32

Feel like I know this man. Whereabouts are you op?

TotalOverhaul · 04/10/2023 13:32

Finlesswonder · 04/10/2023 13:16

Like what? "Here's a nice big hard package for bob, I hope he can take it"?

😂😂😂