Postman keeps making lewd comments about my husband, should I make a complaint?

[wimsywon]

We've lived at this address for seven years with the same postie throughout this time. Over the past year or so, our post man has starting making lewd comments about my husband and its become quite tiresome. Both hubby and I work from home, so either one of us runs to the door for deliveries. I now dread it! He never says anything inappropriate to my husband but when I go to the door, it's all lewd innuendo, targetted at my husband. Needless to say, the postman is a gay man and I have no issue with that. It's the constant suggestive comments and the fact that he can't seem to just hand us our mail with a pleasant greeting like he used to do. It just seems disrespectful and utterly cringe worthy! Should I complain to Royal Mail? Or should I let it go? The other neighbours seem happy with him, so the cringy chit chat seems to be aimed at us. It's horrible and both hubby and I hate it!

"Bob keeping busy is he? Wink wink say no more" ?????

Stop answering the door

Seriously

Phnar phnar 😂😂

A friend was on the receiving end of similar postie behaviour. She put an external mail box outside the house.

He needs to know he's out of order. Tell him it's inappropriate and needs to stop.

You're right...he does it to make ME feel uncomfortable. He never says anything to my husband! It's like he's trying to make me appear to be a paranoid woman but my husband does often over hear him and hates it as much as I do. He makes sexual comments, like 'oh if it weren't for you being here...'...pretends to enter the house (meaning, he'd make a move on my husband) and today he asked where my husband is because he gets 'tongue tied' when hubby answers the door. He makes suggestive gestures such as raising his eyebrows and licking his lips...when he comments. I cringe and feel awkward.

So the postman has been fine for 6 odd years and has only now decided to start making these comments?

I think he knows something about your husband that you don't otherwise after the first time the Postman was in appropriate, he would have collared him the next time and told him to shut the fuck up.

But he didn't and he hasn't.

Is he a bit Paul Hollywood looking?!

We've got an external post box on the wall nest to the front gate.we padlock the front gate unless expecting food shop etc.stops cold callers and would work for pervy posties

Yes! Very much that sort thing. Easy to laugh off, once. Every time I open the door to him...not funny.

next

Make him feel awkward by looking at home like wtf. Or saying "what?!" With a puzzled look.

If that doesn't work then say. "Listen I'm getting tired of your jokes as they are not funny".

If that doesn't work then say "I don't appreciate your unprofessional comments"

If that doesn't work then complain. Going straight to a complaint is a bit spineless.

If this was a straight postie making sexual comments about a female I'm pretty sure the mumsnetters would be baying for his balls on a stick

Try saying "you said that last time, its getting tiresome "

🤣🤣🤣

I would report him. He's dealing with the public and making sexually suggestive remarks. He should lose his job.

How about 'would you like me to report you to your manager for your inappropriate behaviour? No. Then I suggest you shut your mouth and get on with the job you're paid to do'. Then take the post and shut the door in his face.

Just have your phone in your hand on record.
When he makes a lewd remark wave your phone at him and say one more comment like that and I’m sending this to your boss.

You're an adult, you don't need to ask others what you should do; tell him to stop and if he doesn't stop then report him.

I’d be so blunt and just say ‘why do you keep making weird comments like that?’ Hell be caught off guard and then he’ll be the uncomfortable one.

You don’t have to directly confront a person who is being paid to do a job involving trust and interaction with the public who’s behaving in a completely inappropriate way, especially alone on your own doorstep. It’s not a one off, it’s not just slightly questionable choice of words on a single occasion, it’s sexual harassment and even if it wasn’t and it’s just “banter” it’s incredibly unprofessional- what the hell is wrong with a simple “good morning” or “have a good day”?!

I’d say it’s perfectly fine for you and your husband to just report him to his employer, which I would have done by now, especially if I had eg ring doorbell footage to back it up.

I'd have to say something, in my mind it would go something like this:

Postie: Oooh, if you weren't here... (makes as if to enter the house)

Me: Then what?

Postie: 😜

Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean?

Postie: You know, your husband... if you weren't here! 😍

Me: Do you mean 'if I wasn't here you would enter my house and sexually assault my husband'?

Postie: Errr.... No... Here's your post. (He then eaves and only ever makes very polite chit chat from that day on)

More likely is this:

Postie: Oooh, if you weren't here... (makes as if to enter the house)

Me: (Gets all flustered) Stop being weird! (slams door only to realise I have to sheepishly reopen it to retrieve the post from the Postie's outstretched hand)

If you don't feel comfortable saying something (and I think you should try), then absolutely do report it, no one should have to deal with sexual harassment - particularly not on your own doorstep!

Do you think your husband is cheating

That's brilliant, thank you. I should ask if he finds other local men attractive or is just my husband. It's a fair question, I think. It might even make him realise how inappropriate he's being and that I might be about to make a complaint if he doesn't stop.