Postman keeps making lewd comments about my husband, should I make a complaint?

[wimsywon]

We've lived at this address for seven years with the same postie throughout this time. Over the past year or so, our post man has starting making lewd comments about my husband and its become quite tiresome. Both hubby and I work from home, so either one of us runs to the door for deliveries. I now dread it! He never says anything inappropriate to my husband but when I go to the door, it's all lewd innuendo, targetted at my husband. Needless to say, the postman is a gay man and I have no issue with that. It's the constant suggestive comments and the fact that he can't seem to just hand us our mail with a pleasant greeting like he used to do. It just seems disrespectful and utterly cringe worthy! Should I complain to Royal Mail? Or should I let it go? The other neighbours seem happy with him, so the cringy chit chat seems to be aimed at us. It's horrible and both hubby and I hate it!

I don't think that's clear at all. If OP hasn't spoken to him then surely the advice of every sane person would be to do that first, rather than go to the trouble of contacting his employer to try to get them to tell him to stop?

Why are you so rude over a simple question? Your responses to me seem disproportionately aggressive.

Good grief, you clearly got out of bed on the wrong side this morning. Wind your neck in.

It's probably not very nice but I wouldn't want him to lose his job over it. I would give him a warning and say if he persists in making inappropriate comments about DH you will be making a complaint about him.

Most people have letterboxes, surely?
I never have any contact with our postie. I think I've had one Royal Mail package in about 10 years.

You need to address the postman and give him a chance to put things right. Never understand why folk
want to go straight to the bosses!

If this were someone with whom the OP had an actual relationship, or someone with whom she works, I would agree. But under no circumstances is it acceptable for a person to treat a customer this way. There can be no confusion here, nor any assumption on his part that she welcomes the comments. It would never be appropriate or acceptable in his role to make these remarks. Even worse that he is a public servant. He does not deserve the benefit of doubt and if he does, his employer is the one that can provide it, not a member of the public to whom he is providing a service.

Also, @donquixotedelamancha Are you a dude?

Bit grim all these people finding sexual harassment funny.

It's VERY clear. You seem to be the only one who has 'been mistaken' that she's already spoken to him. OP has been advised by several posters now to talk to him first.

Sorry? What on earth are you talking about? Do you not know how public forums work? I suggest YOU wind your neck in.

I think it is a reasonable question.

OP does not give off a vibe of being assertive somehow and has avoided answering this question, which was asked by more than one poster. She is clear that the behaviour has gone on for around a year now, so it is highly doubtful that she has asked him to stop.

If she had told him bluntly to stop or she would report his creepy comments to his employer (and followed through as necessary) then it is highly likely that that would have been the end of it.

Brilliant!!!

I haven’t read much of the rest of the thread yet but I really, really hope it’s full of people guessing what comments the Postie is making 😂

He makes suggestive gestures such as raising his eyebrows and licking his lips...when he comments. I cringe and feel awkward.

This makes your postman sound like Larry Grayson.

I suggest you read your previous posts back to yourself to understand what I'm talking about. Perhaps try to be a little less hostile? It shouldn't be difficult.

I think you should secretly film him with your phone when you answer door next otherwise your word against his.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think lots of people are assuming she's already asked him to stop (and so should now give him both barrels) while others are assuming she's said nothing. That was why I asked.

If she's already told him his comments are unwelcome then surely she needs to now contact his employer? If he just thinks it's a silly shared joke and she's been going along with it then the solution is obvious.

I still don't understand why you are so angry?

Yes, it's very difficult to visualise this happening, isn't it?

Are you a big fan of Mrs Brown's Boys, by any chance?

I think this requires a official complain . It’s not acceptable at all . If this was a guy making comments at you people would probably call the police , indo t see it as any different just because it’s towards a man .

Absolutely! It would result in a fight if he was being repeatedly lewd towards me. I don't tell my husband what he's saying because I know he hates it and when he does over hear, I just tell him to forget it. But, its getting too much now. Eventhough I don't ever encourage or laugh or say anything back, the man has no boundaries and is unfortunately well liked in this small town.

to be fair, the first response is no more intelligent.

Report report report.

It’s irrelevant whether OP has challenged him on being inappropriate or not already. It’s not like she’s asking him to stop parking his van overhanging her drive, or leaving the gate slightly ajar, where an apology would smooth things over without having to get his employer involved.

His conduct is extremely inappropriate and he shouldn’t be working with the public if he thinks making unwelcome sexual comments and pretending to enter someone’s house is just a bit of banter.

faux naievety is also a MN go-to response, it's tedious.

That's what I'm going to do. Next time I get a parcel and he has to knock and get a photo...giving him time to do his usual 'your husband (insert pervy comment here)'...wafting his face with his hand, over the top acting - I will have a word with him about it and if he doesn't stop, I will make a formal complaint.