Every fucking year

[Everyyear]

I have 6 kids 2 grand kids. I start Xmas shopping in July. I have managed 2 sort my 2 youngest kids . Will probably easy sort the grandkids .

But the older ones They are hell. When I ask them about Xmas all I get is "dun know" i explain to them I need some clues because I have to buy early due to money etc I still get "dun know"

It's same every year. I stress myself every year I know this yet I still do it ffs. And I wind myself up because I don't want to let them down.

How old are the oldest ones?

Buy them Amazon vouchers and they can.sort themselves out if they are teens.

I know the feeling. I've got 6 adults to buy for, and 6 children. I'm worried about money (lack of it). I'm thinking of suggesting I only buy for the kids and that the rest of us have a Secret Santa thing instead. A friend of mine started buying Christmas presents in May! She's already told me that she's got mine, therefore adding to the pressure, so I now feel obliged to buy her something. She's got much more money going into her house than I have.

cinema vouchers
payg top up vouchers
google play/i tunes/amazon/argos vouchers

tbh I have given up with my hoard of nieces/nephews. they all get something to unwrap like a premium bath product and a voucher.

The oldest are adults. 26 and 21. But they are still my children. So I still need to know. 🤣

We don't buy for adults in my family.

I'm 40 and I couldn't decide now what I want for Christmas in 3 months time.

Just put the money away as if you've already bought theirs, then wait until they've decided or give them the cash / vouchers.

We don’t buy for adults either. We used to do a secret Santa thing but that just became pointless and created arguments. So we decided that no one would buy for adults.

Ah yeah I get you. I just buy for my kids, their nan, and the 2 younger ones dad. It's only me that buys for my kids no family etc. So I get a bit worried because it's all down to me. And I try to make up for what thru don't get from others

Just all agree not to buy presents for adults. Or do what we do and do a Secret Santa: names out of a hat, everybody buys one present and receives one. Works great, and cheaper too.

Get a couple of generic Christmas things (chocolate Santa, new tree decoration etc) and give them £20 cash or a voucher to somewhere you know they shop at.
Done.

Just put the money aside and then it’s there when they have thought of something later.

Why would they know in September? That’s too much pressure and must be really annoying for them.

Just buy them a voucher for their favourite shop or give money at that age.

Or why don’t you put the money aside now so you can ask them nearer the time?

They are my children. If I gave them 20.00 and a choc santa. They would wounder what they have done wrong

If you’re not careful, they will start to dread Christmas as it represents being forced to think of things they want for Christmas repeatedly by their fucked off mum

Sorry but this is spot on.

I have a relative who starts on at me in late August about what to buy us and each of 3 dc. And she doesn't just buy 'a' gift. She gets one main gift but then a few smaller things too.

I get numerous calls asking for clothes and shoe sizes, should she get the green or the blue, do I really think ds2 would get use out of X, wasn't dh talking about X the other week, could I do some digging to see if he'd like X. What do you want. What do you want. What do you want.

It becomes really stressful and I end up saying 'Oh I really need X' or 'yes an X would be lovely for ds3' - totally made up - because otherwise she just will not quit. And the gifts just end up in a charity shop.

I have 3 dc, a full time job and our own Xmas to sort. I'm busy enough myself with without having to write someone else's entire shopping list for them.

If you don't know what to buy, give them vouchers.

My adult kids get money and an outfit or nightwear. Decent stuff. There's no need to buy loads of things to unwrap.

Get vouchers if you don't like giving cash

You can do the "background" gifts whenever you want, and then ask about the bigger main gift nearer the time. Or just ask if they are happy to let you choose. You've been buying them gifts for a long time now, surely you can come up with ideas yourself?

Because of how I have to juggle things . Its not always easy to just give money. Plus they always want things to open. But not things like shower gel or socks .

I don't think its to much preasure to all what they want . Irs me who's go to find the money and sort everything. And I have to do it on my own.

what she’s and budget would help if you want suggestions

That could be an idea.

I just ask my lot for lists around now. They know that no list means they get what Mum thinks they'd like. I've never had a problem getting lists from mine so I suggest you say, final call guys, list by x date please - don't worry, I won't nag or ask you again but no list means you'll get what I think! That's it - don't mention it again. If that doesn't work I'd just get things like a nicer version of the cosmetics/toiletries/perfume/aftershaves they normally use, new pyjamas or lounge wear,, some sort of activity voucher from red letter days or something to do with their hobbies? Job done - if they don't like it, tough - they didn't respect you enough to do as you asked but I bet next year they comply!

My mum gets like this too and I do understand but I can’t think and also have a. December birthday to double the pressure. The last few years Ive asked for John Lewis vouchers - it’s out of my price range usually but it means I can get something nice I wouldn’t normally afford. I can put the vouchers together too and use them towards a bigger purchase.

Surely you can put the money to one side ready for them to tell you when they have an idea? Even if you withdraw it as cash so it’s not “available”