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Original poster

Every fucking year

257 replies

Everyyear · 01/10/2023 15:22

I have 6 kids 2 grand kids. I start Xmas shopping in July. I have managed 2 sort my 2 youngest kids . Will probably easy sort the grandkids .

But the older ones They are hell. When I ask them about Xmas all I get is "dun know" i explain to them I need some clues because I have to buy early due to money etc I still get "dun know"

It's same every year. I stress myself every year I know this yet I still do it ffs. And I wind myself up because I don't want to let them down.

OP posts:
backbritishfarming · 03/10/2023 20:34

recklessgran · 01/10/2023 15:43

I just ask my lot for lists around now. They know that no list means they get what Mum thinks they'd like. I've never had a problem getting lists from mine so I suggest you say, final call guys, list by x date please - don't worry, I won't nag or ask you again but no list means you'll get what I think! That's it - don't mention it again. If that doesn't work I'd just get things like a nicer version of the cosmetics/toiletries/perfume/aftershaves they normally use, new pyjamas or lounge wear,, some sort of activity voucher from red letter days or something to do with their hobbies? Job done - if they don't like it, tough - they didn't respect you enough to do as you asked but I bet next year they comply!

This is exactly what I do too. Works well for us but we're a very small family.

T1Dmama · 04/10/2023 00:27

It amazes me the people who don’t buy their adult kids anything. Especially kids in their 20’s!

I would put the money aside until they think of something or do a hamper….. my parents give us all a small food hamper with all our favourite things in and also a toiletry hamper with products in they know we use. Then a main present - I love spoiling my parents at Christmas too…. I buy them things they wouldn’t necessarily treat themselves to but know they like.

jasminocereusbritannicus · 04/10/2023 06:19

I don’t even start Xmas shopping till at least the last week of November!!! I find it helps to focus on what’s necessary, having only a short time to do it! People who are hard to buy for get money or vouchers or what I would like them to have… the whole point of giving gifts. Don’t stress about it. If they’re ‘disappointed’ , maybe next time they’ll give you an idea.

Flossflower · 04/10/2023 08:02

T1Dmama · 04/10/2023 00:27

It amazes me the people who don’t buy their adult kids anything. Especially kids in their 20’s!

I would put the money aside until they think of something or do a hamper….. my parents give us all a small food hamper with all our favourite things in and also a toiletry hamper with products in they know we use. Then a main present - I love spoiling my parents at Christmas too…. I buy them things they wouldn’t necessarily treat themselves to but know they like.

I have already said on this thread that I don’t buy for anyone over 21. However ever since my children were teens we have taken them out for a good diner on their birthdays. Sometimes famous restaurants. This didn’t stop at 21 and gradually included OHs. It did stop when they had their own children as we couldn’t all go out together. My kids don’t really care about not getting presents themselves. They are more interested in what their own children get. We also babysit on their birthdays so they can go out with their OHs.

T1Dmama · 04/10/2023 10:01

It wasn’t in response to you, some posters have put a flat out ‘once they’re adults I don’t buy for them’ period! Sounds harsh… I understand once people have children it’s fun watching them open theirs, but my brother (like many these days) was 34 when he had children… we all bought gifts for him and his wife until they had child1… we siblings don’t buy for each other now we all have kids, but still do birthdays. I’m not talking mega expense, you
gift your time to allow your kids to have a meal out, which is lovely, I just find other posters attitude that once their children hit adulthood they’re no longer bought gifts, mumsnetters seem to have the attitude that once the kids hit a certain age they’re on their own, I’ve never experienced such a cold attitude in ‘real life’… I don’t know where some of these people on mumsnet come from

Sartre · 04/10/2023 10:06

My eldest DC is like this and he’s only 13, he’s been this way for the past couple of years. I just end up having to guess and sometimes miss the mark which he then whinges about but he gives me nothing to go off! Frustrating, I feel your pain.

Original poster
Everyyear · 04/10/2023 11:14

T1Dmama · 04/10/2023 10:01

It wasn’t in response to you, some posters have put a flat out ‘once they’re adults I don’t buy for them’ period! Sounds harsh… I understand once people have children it’s fun watching them open theirs, but my brother (like many these days) was 34 when he had children… we all bought gifts for him and his wife until they had child1… we siblings don’t buy for each other now we all have kids, but still do birthdays. I’m not talking mega expense, you
gift your time to allow your kids to have a meal out, which is lovely, I just find other posters attitude that once their children hit adulthood they’re no longer bought gifts, mumsnetters seem to have the attitude that once the kids hit a certain age they’re on their own, I’ve never experienced such a cold attitude in ‘real life’… I don’t know where some of these people on mumsnet come from

Thank you for that

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