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Original poster

Help my adult son is missing

297 replies

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 21:47

My son is 23 and he has been missing since 11th September. I reported him missing the same day as it was out of character for him to miss work. He walked out of the house with nothing other than his bank card. His phone hasn't been turned on since the night he left.
So far I have:
Contacted all of his friends and contacts
Done a social media campaign
Battled with the police and filed two official complaints due to failures to investigate
Worked with missing people uk to do a media campaign
Handed out posters in the area that we have had one sighting. Unfortunately this is not our local area so it is difficult to go every day.

What else can I do? I've emailed and called every service I can find to share his photograph. Is there anything else anyone can suggest? I'm beyond devastated and will try anything at this point. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Sierra26 · 23/09/2023 21:53

I’m really sorry you’re going through this and hope you have a breakthrough soon!

Do you have any theories as to what might have happened?

Can you share any links to the campaigns here to get the mumsnet community on the lookout?

Hotsaucegal · 23/09/2023 21:54

It really sounds like you are doing everything you can! I don’t have any words of advice but just sending you love and support

Hairyfairy01 · 23/09/2023 21:54

Can't begin to imagine the stress you are going though. Are the police able to access his social media / any gaming (chat) history at all to see if there are any clues? I'm presuming you have rang around local hospitals? Does he have poor mental health? Is there an obvious reason that explains why he is missing?

SpringViolet · 23/09/2023 21:58

OP this must be terrifying for you. So sorry you’re going through this.

Are the police actually investigating now?

Can his mobile phone provider find out the area his phone last pinged from, assuming I’ve read the OP correctly and he took it with him and it was turned off in the evening after he went missing?

Has his bank card been used?

CCTV checked on the route from your house? Can you knock on doors or put leaflets through asking people to check their CCTV from that time so you might be able to see a route he took.

Has your local news reported on it?

Charliecatpaws · 23/09/2023 21:59

I'm sorry that I can't provide any advice but you must be going through hell, I really hope that you find him soon x

Leftlegwest · 23/09/2023 22:00

I'm sorry. I hope he turns up soon.

You could the the websleuths forum. You would need to add it as a 'case' and then probably need to be verified as a family member. People on there are very good at tracking down info.

Hanlonsamazer · 23/09/2023 22:01

Crikey OP. How terrifying for you. Did anyone see him leave on their doorbell cam?

Do you trust his mates to not “hide” him? Sympathies with the police, they’re awful at this sort of thing. Thinking of you.

Jennalong · 23/09/2023 22:04

What was going on in his life ? Anything to trigger him ? Relationship , work or money worries , drugs , mental health concerns ?

Have you been to his usual haunts ? Anywhere that is familiar to him - places he loved , holiday destinations etc ?

Has he a radio station he listens to , could you put out a call to him on there ?

Hope he comes back soon.

SpringViolet · 23/09/2023 22:05

Sorry not only CCTV but video doorbells, some people leave them on record, which may pick up the route he took after he left the house. Ours picks up people walking on the path in front of the house despite us having quite a long front garden.

TaigaSno · 23/09/2023 22:07

I would knock on doors or drop leaflets to ask local people to check their ring doorbells, car footage, cctv. Particularly starting from where he left and progressing from there, to try to work out which direction he set off in.

Any help from the bank about whether his card has been used?

Have you contacted his GP to ask for help? From what I've heard from a friend who was in a similar position, having the GP confirm the missing person was being seen for mental health problems meant the police escalated that case and could then access phone and bank transactions.

I'm sorry this has happened, you must be besides yourself.

What area are you - perhaps people here can help share info online?

Chocrock · 23/09/2023 22:08

I hope he is found safe and well soon.
have the police tracked withdrawals from his bank account?

BeverlyBrook · 23/09/2023 22:09

Facebook and Instagram. Get tagging people to share his photo

ThePoshUns · 23/09/2023 22:10

Hopefully the police are doing financial checks. Keeping everything crossed for you OP. Does he have a car?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 23/09/2023 22:10

The date is interesting. September 11th. Could that have any bearing on anything?

Iliketulips · 23/09/2023 22:10

So sorry you're going through this.

Can you tell us which area he was last seen. Also, a description and what you think he was wearing.

I wonder if you contact your local newspaper if they could help.

Forgoodnesssakejustletme · 23/09/2023 22:10

Can you share his photo here? So sorry you are going through this.

Peaceandquietfinally · 23/09/2023 22:11

I have no other advice that I can think of . Am sending you a massive hug and handhold…my son is 23 and cannot imagine how worried you are. What area do you live in? Maybe even put a photo of him on this thread .

JaneJeffer · 23/09/2023 22:11

Could he have left the country?

Loomy · 23/09/2023 22:13

So worrying but if he has been genuinely seen then what are his reasons for not wanting to be found? Do you know why he left?

SkaneTos · 23/09/2023 22:14

I hope your son will be found safe and sound!

Hellocatshome · 23/09/2023 22:15

There was a missing person locally to me and a local print company printed a lot of fliers for free/cheap and locals were recruited to deliver them door to door.

I know you are not local to the area of the sighting but could you try something similar in your area and also the area of the sighting?

Have the police said if he has used his bank card?

Original poster
Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:19

Am I allowed to share the link here?

He doesn't use social media so that's been a massive set back for us. I have managed to get posts out via FB and Instagram which seem to be shared a lot but it isn't leading to any other sightings.

My son has had significant mental health difficulties in the past but at the time he went missing, there were no signs it was deteriorating again. Its frightening that this happened without any trigger that we are aware of.

The police have been appalling to be honest. They have assessed him at a medium risk of harm and then tried to close the investigation saying he's an adult and can do what he likes. We hadn't even had a sighting of him at that point and he had been missing for a week. The police did trace his bank account twice and saw that he had used an ATM to check the balance of his account. This gave us a new location to search but the police used it as evidence he was safe and well, despite no CCTV footage to verify it was actually him using the card. They are now refusing to look at his account again as it is against his human rights (?!) My argument is if he is safe and well then of course, I accept his rather bizarre decision to up and leave but surely all the evidence so far suggests he may be suffering with his mental health.

Thank you for all your kind words.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:21

Here is my beautiful son. We are in Kent but he was seen in Luton last week. We have no connections to that area at all.

Help my adult son is missing
OP posts:
Charliecatpaws · 23/09/2023 22:22

Im so sorry that the police have not been much help

Original poster
Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 22:23

Thank you I hadn't heard of this site

OP posts:
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